If you are dating a Freemason, and he says he wants you to join, does that mean he likes you or wants a future with you?

As always, ask him is the best answer but I know we always try to figure them out. Join only if you want to and let the future unfold as it will.

@janbb

Love, love, love, your answer…. So true…

“Let the future unfold as it will” Such wise words <3

It’s because I jokingly told him we should get married since his dad, him, and my father are all in the club lol…. I said all you guys are “masters of the universe” lol… and then he said I should join the female version first (OES). lol. Is the reason I ask XD

Maybe he thinks you’re jealous of his position as a Freemason (why oh why oh why?) and wants you to have a similar opportunity.

The more members an organization has, often the more clout it has. Maybe he realizes that the membership is dwindling. Maybe he’s just gung-ho about the Masons and wants there to be a big membership. Maybe he loves it so much he thinks others should enjoy what he thinks is so great.

If you break up with him and you are a member, and are attending these events, you will see him, which, if you are not with him, may or may not be a pleasant experience.

Do you want to join the Freemasons? Regardless of what your father and boyfriend want, does the organisation offer you something you feel you need in your life? Why they want you to join is one question, but the more important question for you is ‘do you want to join and why’? What will you get out of being a member?

Will you learn leadership skills? Will you be able to help your community in some way that you value? Will you make more friends who share similar values? Can you rise through the ranks as a man can? Can you influence how the organisation develops, or will you always be a woman in a man’s organisation? Could you join without your father or boyfriend’s approval? If you disagree with something the organisation does, will you have a voice as a woman? I have no idea of the answers to these questions, but they are questions I would want answering before I signed up to the organisation.

It’s not about what your father and boyfriend want or need, it’s about what you want and what it will mean for you.

I just looked at their website, www.easternstar.org.

I see they do charity work. Perhaps their membership is dwindling, as it looks like an organization that, unless your parent was one, someone might not see the benefits of belonging to something like that. I see they have luncheons and other events. I see there are chapters and a formal structure, and they probably look to people to volunteer to help (volunteers for committees for events, fundraising, etc.). Like any other political organization (political in that they have officers that are elected), one can move up through the ranks. Politics is a weird thing, and it takes a certain kind of person to handle being an officer. Maybe that’s not for you, maybe you’d just be into being a regular member and not an officer, but either way, you’d probably be asked to help out by volunteering for the committees and stuff like that.

Personally, it doesn’t look like an organization that would appeal to me but maybe you’d feel differently. I see some old, stuffy looking people in the photos of the officers, and I feel I have little in common with them. Maybe they are lots of fun, who knows. I’d find fun in my free time, not sitting in meetings and attending luncheons and stuff like that.

Ask him, not us.

Could be that in getting you to join, that you are investigated about your character.
Perhaps he wants to make sure that you don’t have a hidden past etc
He could want reassurance of your character should He decide to marry you one day?