21 and still a virgin. Is it a shame?
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Not at all. Some people prefer to wait until they are married. There is nothing wrong with that.
Absolutely not. Trust your own feelings. Loads of reasons for not getting into a physical relationship. I don’t know yours but if it feels true to yourself then so be it and if anyone makes fun it shows more about them.
If it’s of no shame to you is all that matters, it’s your life & your body.
Nope. Not a shame, and nothing to be embarrassed about. When it’s time, it’s time. Enjoy it.
Welcome to Fluther.
We seem to have brought our society to a diametrically different place from when I was your age (over 40 years ago) … and not always for the better. When I was (still) a virgin at your age I was still somewhat proud of the fact (though aching to change that status); there was no question of shame for being a virgin during the rise of the “Free Love” generation. Having sex then (with another person, anyway) meant more to me – and still does mean more to me – than “just screwing”. I don’t judge others who feel differently; that’s how I feel and operate.
But now, apparently, you look around you and wonder if you should feel shame for being a virgin. I grieve that you should feel so.
You do what is right for you; to do else would be shameful.
Nope. Not a shame. What would be a shame would be if you were not a virgin by a choice that was not yours, or that you felt societal pressure to have sex in a way that made you feel less than enthusiastic and fulfilled.
That said, masturbation is healthy and not at all shameful, either, and lots and lots of fun, no matter what the nuns at Catholic school say.
Is it something to be embarrassed about? no.
I was a virgin until around that age… And honestly, I wouldn’t have been opposed to waiting longer. Looking back, in fact, I sort of wish that I had (for a variety of reasons [if the person who was involved with this reads this post, please feel free to inquire. This wasn’t intended to say anything bad about you or those experiences]).
As has been said above, I will agree that it is not something to be ashamed for. In fact, I would turn that attitude around and say it’s something to be proud of. In a society that places such a high value on sexual relations, you are in essence a “rare bird”.
No, there is a lot of stress that comes out of peoples perceived notions of right and wrong but what is right for you is whatever you are comfortable with.
Is there societal pressure to maintain your virginity? Peer pressure to lose it? I guess the main question is are you a virgin by choice or by design?
Better than being 21 and having triplets and a wife who does not work.
21yo virgin here.
I feel no shame, and see no reason for you to feel it either.
Are you kidding? There is absolutely nothing wrong with it.
Girl nah. You ever watched Jane the Virgin? Season 3 comes on tonight, highly suggest.
I am 39 and still a virgin. What little that I did was boring. I don’t think that we are missing anything.
That is personal. Do you know what that means?
Virgin trolls
@RedDeerGuy1 If your wife has triplets, you bet to HELL she works her ass off.
Gracious no, there is no reason to be ashamed. The right partner and the right time will eventually arrive. And you’ll know it. More importantly, unless you want to risk a pregnancy, use proper recautions.
I’ll be 30 next month and am still a virgin, I’ve barely ever even dated because I’m not heavily noticed. Sometimes I feel rather pathetic but it’s important to mind who you have sex with for safety and self-respectfulness and I want to lose it to the right person.
There is a right person out there for everyone, you, @RedDeerGuy1 and I will all find ours.
I like to believe that because I am modest and genuine that only a man with depth, patience, and a good (and playful) heart can truly appreciate me. The problem is how tragically uncommon that is.
Something to be ashamed of? I tip my hat to you. If no one else does, I find it admirable. Look at it this way, like an eye, a foot, your hearing; once it is gone, it is gone for good. It is one of the truly priceless things you can give, but most just give it to anyone who hardly has any importance to their life long-term. Believe me, who has the honor (or not) to being the first owns that part of you forever, even if he hates you and insults you the moment he bamboozled you out of it, he has it forever, to brag about over billiard games, in locker rooms, sitting around shooting the breeze; and he will talk, have not met one who hasn’t. Don’t be in a hurry to be a trophy
@maggie_philologist You won’t be damaged or worth less somehow or have ‘lost’ anything when you eventually have sex and no one is going to ‘own’ any part of you. I’d love to see that whole phrase, ‘Lose one’s virginity’ retired. You don’t lose anything, you simply have a new experience. @Hypocrisy_Central is a fundie christian bible banger and his views on women go back to the iron age, so take it with a grain of salt.
…Guys have a weird view of virginity. When I lost my virginity I was like, Meh. Boring. But he was so damn in awe of himself. I broke up with him soon after, but ran into him at a party a couple of years later. He hit on me and I said no. He said, “But we share something so special together!”
I said, “What, that we saw The Harrod Experiment at the drive in ?
“No! You know what I mean!”
Me, “Meh.”
@cazzie @Hypocrisy_Centralis a fundie christian bible banger and his views on women go back to the iron age, so take it with a grain of salt.
Let’s have a standing agreement, if you are not going to come on a thread making comments and spreading lies about other Flutheronians, then don’t comment and spread lies about any comment I make, then the thread will stay on point and be civil.
Yes, exactly how did I lie?
@Dutchess_III How did she lie?
First incident: ”@Hypocrisy_Centralis a fundie Christian..]”, I never said or claim to be a fundie Christian. In today’s terminology Christian has been watered down to be truly nebulous.
Second incident, the more glaring: [..his views on women go back to the iron age..], you do not even know all of my ideas or view of how and where I think women fit in society; you get some snippet that goes against what you believe and you form in your head that is what I believe. My views on women are not any more from the dark age as yours are from some place I won’t mention.
I think the OP is grown enough to decide what she wants to hold dear or reject, between the OP and people commenting it is an “A” & “B” conversation you can see your way passed. ~~
Now, let’s get back to the thread unadulterated.
Sorry, @maggie_philologist HC has some self awareness issues. We’ll get back to the thread now.
^ Yet another lie….maybe we can get back to the comments with some truth, seeing some have truth issues.
You are a fundamental Christian.
Your ideas about women are antiquated and sexist.
Almost every one of your responses proves this, over and over. In this one post you said virginity is “priceless,” and that you think it’s an “honor to be the first to own that ‘part’ of you forever.”
Those are antiquated, Biblical bullshit concepts. There is nothing special about losing one’s virginity. It’s boring and it hurts a little. That is all.
Such odd terminology. It’s not like misplacing a book or wallet.
Nothing valuable has been lost.
People have sex for the first time. It’s not a big deal other than the start of a really great series of adventures / experiences.
I still think one shouldn’t be shamed if they haven’t had sex yet. I do admit I did pity people who hadn’t had sex yet once I started on the adventure, so maybe I felt it was a shame they were missing out… but not something to be ashamed of.
^^ There is nothing special about losing one’s virginity. It’s boring and it hurts a little. That is all.
You and others believe it is worthless, we all have our ideas, but because 20 people see a hunk of broken glass and call it a gem because it has some sparkle, doesn’t make it a gem. In the end it is up to the OP how much she values it, but since you were not in the locker room, or at the billiard games, you have no clue what guys say about the virgins they bagged. What god would it is it to say anything here-echo chamber.
I can only imagine the filth that spurts from the mouths of the people you spend time with, but I’ll pass on any option to witness it myself.
Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man..
“Bagged?” How can you treat something with so much reverence, then turn around and use such vulgar terms about it?
Because for the woman it’s the most important thing about herself, and for the man, it’s a hunting trophy.
^^ Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.
I guess you and a a small hand full of others should watch what you say….shows the intention of your hearts. anyway, why don’t you get back to the OP, you seemed to have forgotten about her.
Tu quoque, ten yard penalty.
@Hypocrisy_Central I’ve been in some of those locker rooms, and I know some of the girls that were being talked about, and I know what was said about them and I knew that it wasn’t even true when it was said.
So it hardly matters, locker-room-wise, whether she does or doesn’t ‘put out’, if you want to use that phrasing for non-marital sex between consenting adults, she can be accused of it anyway. Truth is the first casualty of locker rooms, or something.
Oh hell. I got a “bad reputation” for no other reason than because I was “built” and had a nice set of jugs. Consistently got a 10 in the HS hallway polls. As one kid said, “Your body! It’s just made for sex! I bet you want it a LOT!”
In Jr. High there was a rumor that I stuffed my bra. “No one that skinny can have boobs that big.” God that was upsetting.
Fuck it all.
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