What does it mean when your boyfriend and you discussed and he tells you 'the ball is in your court'?

Your boyfriend and you discussed….what?

@janbb it was because a misunderstanding, and it got heated we broke up and then decided to talk and then again we did not gain anything out of that talk I had my reasons and he had his but I was mad and he said well the’ ball is in your court’.

@susen Then it does sound like he means up to you to decide if you want to be together or not.

You get to decide what to do from here. It doesn’t have to mean he doesn’t care – he could understand he had done something indefensible and wants to make it up to you by respecting whatever decision you make. We cannot know with this little context.

Usually when a ball is in your court it means it’s your decision to make. He’s telling you it’s up to you whether to stay with him or not.

I agree with @AshlynM, and frankly, it’s not a terribly promising sign. Knowing what I know now, if I wanted a relationship to work I would say, “I care about this relationship and if you do, too, let’s work together to make it work.”

Based on the limited info you’ve given, your boyfriend doesn’t sound much committed to doing that.

Self explanatory, the decision to continue the relationship rests with you.
This means one of two things, either he’s afraid of commitment or looking for a way out & hoping you do his dirty work.
Both scenarios make him a loser, drop him like hot toast.

Like @ucme said, “the decision to continue the relationship rests with you.”
Your call.
I base this on the fact that I do not know what the discussion was about, and cannot remark on anything else.

@Mariah yeah it was because I did not call him early for his birthday and instead I texted almost at 9:00 o clock that day so he never replied my happy birthday and wishing him well text, instead he ignored me and waited a month literally to contact me again,cause he had start a new semester in university full of work and duties, so that was his excuse he did not even mentioned that he was mad cause I had texted him late on his birthday instead he talked being busy in university and the week ahead he texted me again to go out, and I got so pissed he had dissapeared for a month ( I admit I never reached out to him since I felt I did not do anything wrong) and so I told him many things so we had an argument over text messages and thats when he used the birthday incident and he opened up I felt he did that as an excuse to look good for going missing for almost a month,what ya guys think?

Ok yeah he sounds like a shithead.

Good riddance is what I would say.

Relationships often end when one is in university and the other is not. What is it that you want at this point?

Sounds like a spoiled brat. I’d consider giving up on him if I were you.

He sounds spoiled indeed. Could it be something endemic to his culture?

It means he has gone as far as he is willing to go. If you want more then you are the one who is going to have to ask or beg for it and make it work.

When our butler is off sick we ring the agency for a temporary replacement & upon arrival I tell them “the ball’s in your court” meaning “it’s your turn to serve” (bad tennis gag)

@ucme There is a very good guy friend I have and he said: ‘susen dump him I feel he is coming up with a childish excuse of his birthday,just because you did not call him early the morning of his birthday instead you texted him later that night,at least you did something and he ignored it plus after he texted you a month AFTER he did not even bring that up to me its all weird,I would be on my own and leave him this is from a guys point of view’

@janbb I remember a guy friend I have told me as soon as he finishes university he most probably will finish with you as well his birthday excuse was too childish’, and actually he finishes now in December and graduates in February, So I feel the need to tell him whats up with us if he sees us together in the future just to see his reaction cause I feel lost.I don’t know if this man is using me to spend time with me and then bye when he finishes.

@susen It seems like it could be so. And just as a friendly note, it would be easier to read your posts if you began and ended your sentences more clearly.

@susen Discussed what?

@si3tech Asked and answered above.

@susen This guy isn’t good for anything! He’s a manipulator and constantly “hooking you” with his nonsense. I agree that you did nothing. Dump him

@si3tech The only reason I have stayed with him is out of confusion, cause my family and others told me:‘oh it was wrong from your behalf because it was your boyfriends birthday and you texted him at 9 o clock at night, you should have called him like a civilized person and invite hin to eat at home,you prepare him something especial etc, so that remained in my head and I felt sorry and said to myself maybe there right.and even me explaining him all of these hi still was not having it and felt it was wrong and the list goes on.

No, they are not right. You fulfilled your part of the social contract. If he is not happy it is not really your problem. He is the one with the attitude. He is the one with the burr under his saddle.
Tell him no, the ball is back in his court. You can move on. He is the one with the problem.

@rojo and you know what really pisses me, is that he has never said happy birthday to me, and his pitty excuse is:’ that since I am on vacation on another country he feels it does not make sense to call or text cause I am not with him to go out or do something for my birthday and I feel so stupid for not doing nothing for 3 times in a row that he has not said happy birthday to me, even if to me it does not mean something big or matters that much, it is still something he should do if he is my bf and expects me to do the same for him.

Sorry, you are being taken for granted. Time to find someone who appreciates you.

Really, just put this behind you as best you can.

@rojo My guy friend said: susen I am afraid you have been blinded for quite some time its time for you to wake up and leave, you women tend to have the truth and everything upon your eyes and you either ignore it or don’t see it,

And i guess its true sometimes we experience and see thing,yet we ignore it and let i pass by.
because the guy hooks us up with lies,and we fall over and over and over again.

@susen Is your guy friend the same one who is upset you didn’t call him earlier on his birthday?

@rojo no,no he is my friend who gave me advice about my boyfriend being childish about his birthday.

@rojo He is one f my good friends from childhood.

Your friend is probably right but It is not just women who sometimes refuse to see or accept the obvious; men can also wear blinders.

Your friends have probably seen this coming for some time but not mentioned it to you because they did not want to hurt your feelings or perhaps they did say something in a roundabout way not coming right out and saying it and you ignored them because you did not want to accept it.

@rojo Exactly it goes both ways to be fair, I have stayed in this relationship for all this time,is because sometimes I feel the need to be a detective LOL cause to be honest my boyfriend has quite a weird and difficult to understand personality, sometimes I have wondered if he has a disorder or problem, cause there is something there I quite cannot tell about him, but to my knowledge and being around so many people, its not a common personality to see.