What would you do if a good friend wanted to come over for some baking fun but you felt your house was too small to be a host?

I feel as you do, I have a small kitchen/house and dogs underfoot. I would be effusive in my apologies, with a firm “but”. Explain the kitchen is really too small and you are not comfortable with the idea. If/when she insists that it can be OK, stay firm. Suggest an alternate fun activity for you guys. Unless you broke her oven, you don’t have to provide a solution for that.

I have a very small house but it is perfectly comfortable and functional, that said l probably wouldn’t want to do a bunch of baking with 3 kids and another adult in here either. haha
I’d just be honest and tell her that your space is limited with the kids and all but you would be happy to do some baking FOR her. Maybe offer up to make a couple batches of cookies or whatever. A good compromise if you want to volunteer some of your time.

Decline gracefully. Tell her that it is a lovely idea and that you want to do it if your house were larger, but that two bakers would not have much elbow room in your kitchen.

Poor excuse. You should have had them over and had a wonderful time. People are adaptable. No doubt you would have found a way to make it work if you really had wanted to make it happen.

I think that your actions were, frankly, an excuse or a rationalization to NOT do something.

THings would have been fine. Sometimes you just need to roll with it.

Once again the solution is to throw the kids out of the house (along with the cats). Nothing should be allowed priority over cakes and cookies. I know I can be bribed to deflect 3 kids through supervised mischief in exchange for a good home baked cake. There was a time when I had a reputation as a reliable source for just this sort of exchange.

I wouldn’t let it bother me.

Interesting take you have on this, @elbanditoroso. Why are you so sure they would have “had a wonderful time” if @jca was uncomfortable? Why do you think that she “really had wanted to make it happen”? I got no such idea from her details. My impression was that she didn’t want to do this at her house, and was no obligation to do so.

@elbanditoroso: I didn’t make any excuses and I haven’t yet thrown away any opportunities. She called me the other day and we had this discussion about the potential to do this. It would be sometime during the holiday season. I have not yet said yes or no. That’s why I asked the question here now.

I used to like baking with friends in my little house. I prefer non-boozy social events and baking worked for that. I could just hang with a couple of good friends for a few hours, baking and telling jokes. My friends didn’t bring their kids – a few times they got sent to Costco with another friend who was just crazy fun with the kids.

In your example, I’d consider hiring a teenager to take the kids to the movies and have some fun baking in the kitchen with the other mom. The cats would be banished, partly because sometimes the moms / parents just need to have fun and relax.

Now – if baking with a friend doesn’t seem like fun – just seems too stressful, say that your house doesn’t work for it. Offer to bake one of your cakes for her.

If you generally like the idea of baking with a friend, you could also ask around and find out if you can rent a church/community kitchen for a couple of hours – friends have done that – it was $10/hr for the nearby church’s commercial kitchen on a non-event evening. They’ve used it for cookie baking parties and canning parties.

Are you afraid she’ll think less of you if she sees your house?

I totally understand your reluctance. After my mom died, my brothers decided my house was going to be the Thanksgiving dinner house. I was not happy with that since my house was the smallest and I don’t have a dining room, just an eat in kitchen. They all promised to bring the meal, I was providing the table and mashed potatoes. It worked out except this year I had to make the turkey too. The turkey worked out and although the kitchen was crowded, I had fun and enjoyed the time with my family.
This is not to say that your baking party would turn out well, too. Do only what makes you comfortable.

Has she been in your kitchen at the same time you were?

I’m wondering if it might not be as crowded as you anticipate.

If your kitchen is too small, I can understand not wanting to bake in a cramped, potentially uncomfortable and chaotic area, when your intention is to have an enjoyable and minimally stressful experience.

What obstacle(s) is (are) there to her oven being repaired?

Personally, I would do it anyway. I have lived in spaces that were too small to comfortably host, but I find these tend to be the best events, sometimes.

I have also gone through periods when I was not comfortable having other people work in my kitchen, which is a totally separate issue. Over time, I’ve found ways to deal with that, like putting away the mug I can’t afford to have anyone break, or the half-functional spatula that I love and don’t want anyone to comment on. And like just letting go, and realizing that other people don’t care about the things that are making me anxious, and that it’s ok to just let go of total control and just see what happens. Usually, fun things do. If in doubt, pour everyone another glass of wine. Well, not the kids. Or the cats.

@Dutchess_III: She was over in the summer when they came and then we walked to beach at the lake for a picnic. She’s also been over another time to take my daughter out with her kids.

So she obviously would feel comfortable, right? Or she wouldn’t have suggested it.

You have to do what you feel comfortable with, but I’m guessing it may not be as bad as you think it will be.
Our first house was about 800 sq. feet. We had a basement that we finished out, which added some room, but for most intents we worked with 800 sq feet, 2 adults and 3 children. And, toward the end, I housed an entire daycare in that 800 sq feet!

Anyway, let us know what you decide.

“I’d rather not do that.”

That should end the conversation.