Why is it considered rude to ask a person how old they are?

Because it’s none of your business (unless it is actually relevant in the conversation).

Why is it considered rude? It isn’t rude to ask a kid how old they are. Why is it rude to ask an adult how old they are?

Because people can create lists of expectations of a person based on their age. If you ask me how old I am, and I say ‘25’, you will immediately associate me with your expectations of a 25-year-old. If you ask me how old I am, and I say ‘52’, you will assign me a different list of expectations. It will colour the way that you see me from then on. It limits the person you’re talking to, for a reason that has nothing to do with who they are as a person.

Now, if you’re in the middle of a conversation about age or experience, a person’s age may be relevant to the discussion, so… less rude. But it’s probably still more tactful to ask in terms of the person’s experiences rather than in actual years; this is usually more useful anyway. Even in terms of biology, there’s quite a lot of variation between individuals in the stages of life.

That was a good explanation @dappled_leaves. Thank you.

Or if you asked my mother’s aunt – - she tell you she was born in 1885, except she moved from Canada to the USA to act as a nanny au pair for one of her relatives in 1893 (she was really 14 at the time). Nobody figured it out until she past away and some of the relatives started comparing notes at her funeral. She had shaved 6 years off her age for years.

Tradition.

Dappled Leaves had a really good explanation, but I kind of agree with you too, @JLeslie. When something is truly rude, it’s rude across the board, and applies to all people, even little kids.
The age thing seems to apply only to older women.

I don’t ask children or adults their age. It’s none of my business.

If someone wants to tell me their age, that’s fine. I won’t remember in any case.

I guess what grade a kid is in, and then up it by a grade. If I think they’re in second grade I ask if they’re in 3rd. They really like that! Kids always want to be older. Adults always want to be younger.

Like being stared at, asking someones age is not a polite thing to do.

It may feel to some folks that it is like someone is attempting to confirm their assessment of your age. In their minds they have already made a guess. The answer that is given will likely provoke more scrutiny. Like being put under microscopic analysis.

I don’t mind stating my age. But I have a very good friend who is 2 years older than I am that seems obsessed with my age. Many times this year he has asked people (friends and strangers) to guess my age. That’s just so weird. He has a slightly odd nature to him (and he definitely means no harm) so I give him some slack. But it gives me a creepy feeling being stared at and having my looks evaluated.

Same reason it is impolite to ask people how much they weigh or what their waist or bust measurement is.
Some people simply don’t want to talk about stuff that close to home.

I’m turning 57 next month and it doesn’t bother me a bit. It is just another social norm/grace that really doesn’t matter but is hardcore ingrained in a lot of peoples programming. If you ask me how old I am I might even tell you I am older so you can be astounded at how good I look. Hey…she looks great for 77. lol

I’ll usually answer on the rare occasions when someone asks me how old I am, then I’ll ask them how old they are. They better answer!

Sometimes I’ll respond with “why?” It depends on the person and the circumstances.

I usually am not bothered by the question but I know a lot of older women seem to be (from what I gather with my mom and her friends). They’d get upset if someone asked their age.

If I’m friends with someone, we know how old we all are.

I will never understand why some people think it’s rude. I’ve read and heard why people think this way, but I don’t agree. I don’t see any harm in stating facts.

I thought this applies to women more than men.

The Japanese ask this question freely and with abandon. They need to know your age so they can be sure of using he correct form of politeness. If they are speaking to an elder – even if the person is only one day older – they often use a different form.

^^ so they’ll ask for birth time if born on the same day.??.Jk..)

@imrainmaker Actually, they do. To use the correct words it is necessary. For example: older brother is “ani”, younger brother is “otouto”. Not even close!
They use words like that in the office!

Ok.. Thanks for the info..I don’t know what would be reaction of people from other countries when they ask these questions.)

That’s interesting @LuckyGuy . It probably explains why our Japanese neighbour was so horribly upset when her smallest daughter told Set that she’d seen his mom (actually me) at the pool. Since Set is some years older than I am, it must have felt really wrong to our neighbour.

Both Set and I thought it was wonderfully funny.

I used to play co-ed volleyball. I was about 34. Once, several weeks into it, playing with the same 4 teams every week, I said something…maybe about my 16 year old daughter being pregnant. It caused one of my team members to ask how old I was, and I told him.
He said, “Wow. All this time I thought you were just “one of us,” and he gestured to the teams at large.
I said, “What do you mean?”
He said they were all in their 20’s, and he assumed I was too. I looked young for my age, for a long, long time.
I wasn’t sure how to take that exchange. I just played on.

@nutallergy I’m going to hazzard a guess and say that you are fairly young, < 30. Things change as you get older. @dappled_leaves said it best here.

I’m 58 and I find myself on the receiving end of incorrect, and somewhat arrogant assumptions, from younger kids, about certain skills they assume I don’t really understand, such as computer skills. Some express surprise that I “know how to text,” and dumb stuff like that.

I’m 48 and I did read all of the responses.

Because it infers judgment