Is it ok in this situation to ask a person at what price she sold something to another person?
I am a dairy goat farmer. I recently acquired a guardian llama to protect the goats (yes, this is a real thing). When she came over, her guarding instinct (which can vary widely in individual llamas) had not yet been tested, plus her owner was still thinking of breeding her, so the agreement was that she would be on loan to me for the time being. Now, the owner has decided against breeding, and the llama, Maxine, has proven herself a very worthy protector and a valuable addition to the herd – so the time has come to transfer ownership. The problem is, I asked what I could pay my friend for her and her response was, No cost; it’s not about the money when it comes to animals. I understand this feeling because I love my animals too, but I also know she is a farmer who makes her living off working with her livestock, and that’s not much of an income. So I very much want to pay her at least in trade (will be in labor, piglets, and goat kids), but I need an idea of what she paid for Maxine.
I’m guessing it could have been anywhere from about $400–1200 – llamas vary in price quite a lot, and the person who sold Maxine to my friend is an unscrupulous dealer who sometimes overcharges. But I happen to be acquainted with said unscrupulous dealer, and so I am wondering if etiquitte might allow the question about what my friend paid her. I honestly have no idea – never felt the need to pry into others’ private transactions before. Thoughts?
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10 Answers
Here’s a nice photo of Maxine.
She gave you a gift. Just accept it and don’t ask for the price. If you want to repay her and she doesn’t receive money, repay her by helping her out or, as you wrote, give her some goods you have.
I wouldn’t ask for the price of the llama (which looks majestic, btw).
She is sweet!
Repay with a couple of baby goats if she wants them.
I agree with @Sneki95 and @chyna
If your plan is to offer goods/services as payment (or a gift-back… whatever), then the actual monetary cost of the item is irrelevant. The idea would be to give something that is equal in the real value to her. Something that will help her with the things she needs help with.
I agree with @Seek. Don’t just give her a goat either. Find out what she may need. It could be that it makes her happy to know the llama is in good hands and happy. I’m sure it cost a bit to feed it so you are already saving her money there. Do you use the goats for milking and making goat cheese? If you do you can always tell her to feel free and pick up milk and goat cheese for her family any time she likes, since the llama is protecting your herd. If you were already doing that, then maybe that is why she didn’t want to charge you.
Good call, guys. Thanks for the advice. I always overthink this stuff. Some of my farmer friends – the more old school ones – have advised that cash is the only way to go, so there is never any gray area as to future ownership. Other, more new-agey farmer types are more comfortable with barter. I’m still getting used to the barter end of it, I guess.
@Pandora I do milk my goats and make yogurt and cheese, but she is also a goat farmer so has no need for more. Also, as a yet uncertified dairy I am not allowed to sell or trade my dairy products in any way – great thought, though! One day. She does actually have a need for more kids, though, since with her extra milk she raises young animals for auction. Not my ideal outcome for my kids, but there’s nothing wrong with it, and we may well go that route.
@Seek btw, let me know if you want more pig skulls
I’ve run into this, too. I agree with the gifters above. Among friends here, the deal is gifting and bartering whether they are farmers or yachtsman. Business is business and friends are friends.
Offering her a couple of goats would be nice. A baby llama would be perfect pay back, but I understand breeding them is expensive and they rarely twin. Too bad. And the gestation period is like a whole bloody year.
I would offer the next couple of baby goats and, if she could use a laptop, I’d get her a good refurbished one as a surprise gift at Christmas. I also understand how a farmer like yourself is very busy, but if you can do it, I’d offer her your labor services on her next project. She sounds like a very good person. Be sure to send over some home cooking once in awhile to let her know you appreciate her friendship. I’d keep this one close.
I always need more bones! If you have any goat skulls lying around…
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