Can this mean the end if he does not reach out?

Sorry to break this to you. Your suspicions are probably correct.

These days communication is easy and quick, no matter the distance. So if he has gone silent on you for longer than usual, you can safely assume he is dumping you. It is called “ghosting”; disappearing like a ghost.

I’m not sure that the details matter (medical test, whatever). The point is that the guy, after two years, doesn’t consider you enough of a part of his life to let you know what’s going on.

If the relationship is so distant that he’s not including you, then the message is pretty clear. And it isn’t you – it is he who seems to is not playing his part.

You are suspicious. With good reason.

Assume this is the same dude you asked about a while back. The one that said the ball is in your court.
Doesn’t sound good.
Hope for the best.
Prepare for the worst.

@elbanditoroso Yeah, the point is he just went to the states to take a test, he is coming back but what worries me is that since he finishes everything I believe the 22 of december,(He is done with university finito!) and my friends phrase is just stuck in my head!! I am insecure to be honest, but I have a feeling I don’t know ,what about if he contacts me should I just break up and live a better life.

If neither of you reaches out, it pretty much guarantees the end, doesn’t it.

It doesn’t sound like much of a relationship if you can’t talk to him and ask him straight out if he plans to continue with you.

Presumably, a guy who has been with you for at least two years would understand and make allowances for your feelings of insecurity, and – assuming that he cares – make some kind of effort to alleviate those feelings.

If after this much time he doesn’t get that you have those feelings, or does get it, but doesn’t do anything about them, then… what’s the point of continuing a relationship with him?

Don’t wait for him to say what’s going to happen; send him your own message to close it off and preclude him from contacting you to resume a relationship “at his convenience”. Tell him to take a hike. (It might even help with your feelings of insecurity to start to “take charge” in this small way.)

@CWOTUS Thats the point, our relationship has been so weird, or so my family thinks thats, because I RARELY text him or call him,almost never I always wait for him to call me once a week and we go out! and the reason I have been like this all along is because I have created a wall to protect myself and my feelings from this guy possibly playing me or me getting hurt its like a defense mechanism and its always been like this.

Maybe he feels the same way do to the way I carry the relationship, but let me tell you I have been very good with him,If I do a dessert he likes I always thought of him and gave him a piece,and I was nice and lovable and him on the other hand is not expressive neither lovey dovey. he has a personality disorder as well!!

@susen I was going to say you should reach out to him and ask him what gives but after reading your last post I’m thinking, “Who needs him?” Let it go and move on or even better for your self esteem, why not text him and break up with him.

Don’t be passive, be active.

Frankly, the more you reveal the worse it sounds.

@CWOTUS But you are right, after all it my be the best, Cause I highly highly doubt that he will call or text me to say :’‘hey its over’’ if feel he is not that type, he most likely will dissapear to avoid the drama,or ghost around. That’s the feeling I get.

Two people who don’t reach out to each other? that really isn’t a great match. Sounds like both of you need some help in the relationship maintenance area.

@susen Your phrase/question “should I just break up and live a better life? says quite a bit to me. It sounds like you know on some level you will “live a better life” when this dude is history. You know what to do. Be safe! Give yourself the chance for “a better life”.

I agree with @marinelife. If you’ve been together two years, and you can’t just ask him questions about your relationship, you’re not really in a relationship.

@dappled_leaves That’s another thing I have always always asked myself, Am I in a dam relationship or what!! and always the same vicious cycle over and over, waiting and staying in in hope of changes and because I wanted him.there’s so many questions in my head and thoughts, that its even difficult to think about them all at once, I have even asked myself if its my fault? if i enabled him, why did I wait such a long time,why? always looking for excuses, and even at times when I really felt something was not right and still dumb me stayed in the relationship, which I felt it was a comfort zone I could not escape, even when I wanted to escape, I would always go back, cause in my head everything was going to be fine.

As I said before I feel it is also my fault for never talking to him about how I felt, cause I never did, Im very bad communicating and letting my emotions out, I shut off inmeddiatly. I just felt intimidated, that’s what makes me very mad
right now the fact that I did not speak everything with him!

What personality disorder does he have?

He has ADHD ( Search on google so you can see the signs/symptoms) that’s what he believes he has,two family members have the same thing, Im not trying to justify him, but this disorder is bad when it comes to relationships. a lot of misunderstandings. oh lord what a mess!!

@BellaB another reason why I rarely messaged or call him is cause in my mind he is the man and he is the one that’s supposed to do it, and also I was like shy or afraid to text him for some reason, I never understood it.

It’s not really a mess. It sounds like a relationship that was problematic has run its course. It also sounds like your culture may have some norms that you may want to examine in order to have a healthier relationship at some point. If you don’t stand up for yourself, who will?

GA @janbb

Intuition IMO is underestimated and to never challenge a woman’s intuition. I always say listen to your gut.

@janbb NO its not a cultural thing, I guess you always hear that man should pay, men should call first and that’s my mentality. perhaps that’s why my relationship has not suceeded the way its supposed to, the question that I ask myself and asking you too,is all of this happening to me because of the way I think and the way that I have carried the relationship all along?,
or is it his fault as well?

@susen , the men pay/men call first thing IS a cultural thing.

@bellab, Well yeah perhaps!!

@susen If I said to you you’re both equally at fault, will that help you to move on? And fault is a fairly useless thing to measure when a relationship falters. I would gently suggest that you write to him and break it off and then start asking yourself questions about how you want to behave in your next relationship so that you do not get taken advantage of again.

@janbb I will, I need it, the problem is me enabling a certain behaviour and playing along with it, he felt to comfortable with the fact that I am a good person,, would always be here,and when you are always available,, the man always feels like he has you eating out his hand!! That’s my biggest mistake!

@janbb BTW is it worth to email him to send him to hell once and for all and tell him the piece of shit that he is?

@susen Yes, I would e-mail him and break up with him for your own self esteem. You can make it angry or you can just be concise but as long as you are clear in your mind that you are not looking for anything back, it is a good idea.

@susen IMHO I would not email him. That could prompt a response which you do not need. Just simply move on.

When you asked him what his plans were for your relationship after graduation, what did he say?

@give_seek @si3tech @BellaB @dappled_leaves @CWOTUS @marinelife

Hey guys New UPDATE!! so the guy is back from taking his test and I am going to see him friday to break up with him and tell him everything on his face, what really pushed me to reason why I am breaking up with him is because recently when he was away taking his medical test, I discovered something really really bad, In an older post I had talked about him having a fake Facebook account which he had told me about and that he did not use it blah blah blah it has a fake name but a real profile picture of him, his profile is private, but in the friend suggestions that facebook always shows, this girl showed up and on the bottom of the profile it said that she is friends with him she seems to have a normal life and profile and so on, so I did my search to see who this girl is,and OH MY GOD!!.

You wont believe it!!!, but this girl that he has as a friend on Facebook, was charged like 3 years ago for selling and supplying drugs you guys, drugs!!! I looked up her name on google and basically it was just arrest records of her and mugshots and am not mistakes its the same face as the girl on Facebook, she was a bit younger back then, but its her.my big question here is what type of connection do these 2 have,where do they even know each other from? I cant believe all this time I have been with some psycho.i’m confused!!

@give_seek @si3tech @CWOTUS @Cruiser @BellaB @josie @marinelife @elbanditoroso

Hey guys New UPDATE!! so the guy is back from taking his test and I am going to see him friday to break up with him and tell him everything on his face, what really pushed me to reason why I am breaking up with him is because recently when he was away taking his medical test, I discovered something really really bad, In an older post I had talked about him having a fake Facebook account which he had told me about and that he did not use it blah blah blah it has a fake name but a real profile picture of him, his profile is private, but in the friend suggestions that facebook always shows, this girl showed up and on the bottom of the profile it said that she is friends with him she seems to have a normal life and profile and so on, so I did my search to see who this girl is,and OH MY GOD!!.

You wont believe it!!!, but this girl that he has as a friend on Facebook, was charged like 3 years ago for selling and supplying drugs you guys, drugs!!! I looked up her name on google and basically it was just arrest records of her and mugshots and am not mistakes its the same face as the girl on Facebook, she was a bit younger back then, but its her.my big question here is what type of connection do these 2 have,where do they even know each other from? I cant believe all this time I have been with some psycho.i’m confused!!

Not all of us but a lot have been there and feel you pain. You have the goods on this loser…be happy…celebrate the holidays…just don’t keep looking back…it will only drag your pain that much further along than is healthy for you.