What would Jesus charge for healing?

Well, if the people were insured with GoliathCare, then they would be covered for almost everything and they would get Jesus to heal them for nothing out of pocket.

However, people with DavidCare wouldn’t have as good a shot at getting coverage.

If you pay cash, you could get health care from Pontius Medical Systems, but the fee is thirty pieces of silver.

Depends on what you’re asking for. The currency of miracles is likes and shares. 1 like = 1 pray, 1 share = 100 prays.

Broken bone? He’s gonna need at least 10 prays for that. Childhood leukemia? That’ll run you 500 prays or more.

Your soul.

1,000 lurve for an office visit.

Nothing, but getting an appointment is damn near impossible. And his bedside manner is awful.

A loaf of bread, a bottle of wine. A couple of fish wouldn’t hurt.

Not sure what his rates are, but even Jesus couldn’t reattach the head of John the Baptist.

Sexual favours including, bare arsed sandal slapping.

I’ve learned not to bother offering bread, fish or wine.

A few loaves of bread and a couple fish. He could feed multitudes with that, and still capitalize the leftovers.

You tacitly agree to provide favor to be determined later, like getting a favor from a Mafia boss.