What will you bring to the Fluther White Elephant Holiday gift exchange?

I’ll bring it. I have The Beach Boys on vinyl. I think it’s a ‘best of’ album. I’d check but it’s in the bedroom and Jon is sleeping. It was one of my mother’s favorites.

Er….I am not sure that is my style of music.

Well since I do not have a box of marshmallows, to the Flutheronian below me I will give two telescoping fishing poles and reels with their own carrying cases, I hate fishing and will never use them.

I’ll have the album and @jonsblond can have the fishing rods….

I will donate my Kindle Fire as I don’t like the interface.

I’ll bring my 45 year old McCulloch chainsaw, but I don’t need a Thigh Master ?

Oh I would like the chainsaw. Can I tempt you with the album @Tropical_Willie ?

I’d love the rods! I can add Hello Dolly- Louis Armstrong on vinyl to go with the Beach Boys. :)

I forgot to add…stealing any previous gift is allowed and the Jelly who had their coveted White Elephant gift ripped out of their hands, they get to got grab another Jellies gift who then gets to repeat this proceedure.

I have the insert and 4 posters of the Beatles from their White Album. No album though. It’s in great condition.

I don’t want the thigh master, but definitely need it.

I’ll take the Beatles and donate a stainless steel fondue pot that I don’t use any more.

I’ll take @janbb‘s fondue pot. I’ve always thought it might be fun to have one, although I’ve never wanted to spend money on a single-use kitchen appliance that’ll spend most of its time at the back of a closet shelf.

I’ll donate some of my travel cases for toiletries and cosmetics. I’ve had the same best friend since we were teenagers, and we swap gifts for birthdays and the holidays. She seems to forget that she’s already given me multiple sets of pretty, zippered, travel containers! I have several, still-unused sets that I appreciate but don’t really need.

For you, a sack of wet coal dust and a bundle of thorny twigs.

I’ll bring my grandmother’s old purse

The wet coal dust will come in handy. I’ll lace the inside of my envelopes with it that I use to mail stuff to the new incoming administration.

I’ll bring a huge bag of home harvested Mandarin oranges, Granny Smith and Golden delicious apples right off the trees here.
I have 2 boxes of apples in the garage, with more on the trees and a fridge full or the oranges which are superb! I just gave away some yesterday for pie making and will use some for my cranberry apple relish next week to give away to neighbors.

Fruit is mine! Thanks!
I leave for your consideration a big hug or a pat on the back of you prefer.

@ARE_you_kidding_me Fruits yours, but, I want a 10 minute neck massage. haha

Okay @Coloma I can do the neck massage (I was given a job offer after giving my brother’s girlfriend a neck massage, she was licensed masseuse with a Physical Therapist office) but I don’t need anymore fruit.
I also don’t need vinyl records either.

I’m stealing the fruit and giving @ARE_you_kidding_me this novelty drinking bird

Can anyone use an old flight simulator? It’s for a single or two seat aircraft. It’s about the size of a VW and has been taking up space in my garage for over 10 years.
The computers, displays, and software are all outdated. Maybe someone in a theater group would want it for a prop?

I have a book I’ve never opened called, ‘How to win friends and influence people’, so anyone can have that. @LuckyGuy my BBE is getting his instrumentation licence, so would he be able to practice with your old flight simulator? That would be a perfect gift for him.

@cazzie I don’t need your book but I’ll regift it to some who do. I have a massive rice and vegetable steamer, pottery, that I’ve never used. Anyone want that?

@janbb We could belt your steamer to one of the seats to sweeten the deal for someone.
I’ll ship the simulator to you and you can put your steamer and a ribbon on it.

does it still have the WTC in it? One could do some recreational reenactments.

@LuckyGuy Does it work? I have a corner in my factory where I could fit it…My nephew has his pilots license and my youngest is going to go to college to become an aviation mechanic….it could have some useful purpose if it works…

@janbb I would love to give your steamer a new home at my cabin and offer up acrylics and paint brushes in exchange….

How ‘bout a truckload of horse manure for your spring garden? Fruit and poop, Colomas earthy contribution. Okay, taking requests for horse shit now, submit your barter.
I can also toss in 3 American hens but no partridge in a pear tree, maybe a chicken in an apple tree? lol

@ragingloli, @Cruiser. I will ask my son if it still works and if it has the WTC. That would be classic. You don’t want to have your FAA stick plugged in if you are fooling around.
My son.will be here on Wednesday. I’ll ask him about it. Right now it is just holding a lot of junk. i started using at as shelf and catch all for junk about 5 years ago. There are 2 or 3 desktop computers and a couple of touch screen displays that probably cost a fortune 10+ years ago. .

My Favorite answer here at Floof of all time! And the Oscar goes to…..Coloma! ((vigorous applause…Crowd roar…. Haaaarrrrrrr))

__“How ‘bout a truckload of horse manure for your spring garden? Fruit and poop, Colomas earthy contribution. Okay, taking requests for horse shit now, submit your barter. I can also toss in 3 American hens but no partridge in a pear tree, maybe a chicken in an apple tree? lol“__

Coloma’s Horse Shit should come with a disclaimer: http://www.gardeningknowhow.com/composting/manures/horse-manure-compost.htm

Please enlighten me @cazzie….your link is more of an endorsement of horse shit than a cautionary disclaimer about horse shit.

My horse shit is finely aged, turned and composted already. I know my shit. lol

I totally respect that Coloma knows her shit. My link was a cautionary tale (or tail) about using fresh horeshit. Uncomposted horseshit has drawbacks, as any self respecting, microbiologist knows.

^LOL

We used to get “aged horse manure”.

The end of the pile we got was 10 to 11 years old.

I’m putting in candles. I always regift candles. Don’t buy me candles. I have some bottles of alcohol too. I have a Tiffany bowl, I guess it’s glass or crystal I don’t know, that was given to me by a home builder that I’ve never used. It’s still in its Tiffany blue box. I have a frame or two also. The frames have probably circulated through a few houses. I also have gifts I’ve bought that stay with the regifts. They are emergency gifts. A very nice pewter cocktail napkin holder. Also, wine glass rings. All this stuff is in a box right now. I have no idea in which box. Usually, I have regift shelves in my house, but in this house I barely have space for the necessities.

@LuckyGuy I know someone who I think would love the flight simulator. If the jellies who put dibs on it first can’t take the flight simulator please keep me in mind and I’ll follow up.

I have an unopened box of tampons that apparently I no longer need, finally, Yay! Box cost $8.99! Very expensive, top of the line tampons. If nobody wants them, I was thinking of trying to paint with them. Who was giving away the paint?

I also have 2 Xmas mugs that I got at a neighbor’s Xmas party last week. We have coffee mugs coming out of our wazoos (not the same wazoos where the tampons go, thankfully) and they will not fit in the cupboard.

@Kardamom Can’t help on coffee mugs, we have over twenty. How about a collection of mustard including Passion Fruit Wasabi Mustard ? ?

@Kardamom You can give them to a woman’s shelter, a girlfriend, or return them.

Years ago one of the operations people in the store came across a stash of tampons. Must have been 300 tampons. Maybe more. The store used to have those machines in the bathrooms, but had gotten rid of them on the last bathroom renovation. He approached me and asked if I wanted them. Um, hell yes! Shopping bags full. I worked in cosmetics at the time. I gave away tampons to a bunch of people on my staff. It was a bonanza. We put bunches in small sized shopping bags and handed them out like gifts.

“Top of the line tampons” LMAO!

I gave all of my leftover feminine protection items to my daughter when I made that transition. Yay @Kardamom!
I’ve always said that women should be like dogs, coming into season twice a year is more than enough. That shit goes on from damn near childhood ( I was 12 when I started my periods ) until the age where if you ended up with an accidental pregnancy you’d just tie a rock around your neck and jump off a bridge. lol

That’s exactly what I told a guy I was dating in my mid-40’s. Told him he was completely off the hook should that happen because I would be taking a swan dive off the Forest Hill bridge here in my neck o’ the woods. haha

www.highestbridges.com/wiki/index.php?title=Auburn-Foresthill_Bridge

@Coloma You could tie an F-150 around your neck and take a swan dive off that bridge and still survive! You are a tough cookie!

@Cruiser Haha, flattery will get you everywhere. lol

@Cruiser I would bring my husbands western DVD’s for you.
And a purse that is the color of manure for @Coloma. Maybe she can use it as a feeding sack for some of her animals.

I actually attended a party where they did the White Elephant gift thing, I started out with a nice china teapot with matching cup and saucer, but had to leave with another Brother to go feed the homeless for Christmas eve and when we returned by teapot turned onto a can of some sort of beans and a book of “Kitty letters to Santa”, I guess the book is going to the library donation bin, the beans were abandoned with the host less they never get used.