How do I get over him?
Hello everyone. I feel stupid and childish for asking this question, so please bear with me.
I’ve asked about this boy before eyeroll but I seriously cannot get over him. He isn’t destroying my life or anything, the only thing he is affecting is my dating life.
Background: So there was a guy, Ryan, in my college course who I thought was showing signs of being interested in me. I asked him out, we went on what I thought was an awesome date. Afterwards he never called me to go on another. I asked him again, he took a week to answer and said yes. By then I was busy, so he said he would let me know when he can again. Never heard from him again. I honestly think he felt bad for me and that’s why he said yes the first time…
Out first date, I felt was perfect. It was nothing fancy but we just clicked. He made me laugh, there was never an awkward silence. It just felt like we had known each other forever. We had so many similarities. Now, whenever I go on a date with a new guy, it’s just not the same. They don’t make me laugh like Ryan did. There’s always an awkward silence and I don’t know how to relate to these new dates. I just wish I had never asked Ryan on a date. That way my expectations on these new dates wouldn’t be so high.
I’ve never been the girl to obsess over a guy… it has always been I could live with him I could live without him… I’d be happy either way. And it’s stupid because I’ve only been on one date with him. I barely know him!
What should I do?! Will I always like him?
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16 Answers
You might probably meet someone who’ll make you laugh but he may not be like Ryan at all.. since every individual is different. So get over him ASAP and try dating others with open heart. Don’t compare them with anyone. Just treat them as individuals as you would like to be treated and you’ll see the difference.
How long has it been since you saw him last? You need to give it at least 6 months.
OK so that part is answered…You may have to give it even more time. I really fell for a girl once and at one point thought I was over her. Then I had another dream with her in it…10 years later.
Find someone better… you will quickly forget him.
When you figure it out, please let me know. It takes me forever to get over a guy I can’t have.
Mind over matter. Teach yourself to not think about him.
@janbb – same for you. Men aren’t worth obsessing over.
Get busy and keep busy and recognise it’s a waste of your energy and emotion to continue to fret over someone who is not going to be in your life. Especially in this case. This isn’t even a relationship. It’s more like one-night that didn’t go anywhere. All the time you spend obsessing over him is time you’re not spending finding a guy who is right for you.
Often we idealize that which we can’t have (remember that old saying about the grass being greener on the other side of the fence) and I would say that it appears that you cannot have Ryan because Ryan does not want you. He has other priorities and most likely a girlfriend/s.
The date was probably ok, but the more you obsess over it, the better it probably becomes.
Sounds like you are dating others so that is a positive. And realistically probably the only way to get over your obsession. Date and do your best not to compare the person you are dating to the idealized version of Ryan you have implanted in your brain.
@janbb: I’m sorry I’m causing you such distress. ;^)
@cookieman You know that one bite just left me wanting more!
^^^^ haha.. Keep going..)
@janbb When you figure it out, please let me know. It takes me forever to get over a guy I can’t have.
That’s because you’re not alienated from your own feelings. There’s a price to pay for that priviledge.
^^ This applies to guys also. It’s not something specific to women.
^^ Of course. Men are just women with a longer penis.
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