[Fluff time] Is it better to have no relatives because they all passed away or died in a tragedy or have live relatives that ignore you?

I don’t think that ‘better’ is a way to describe the choice. Both are unpleasant situations.

Meh…people are too dependent on others period, including relatives. Just because someone is a relative doesn’t mean you or they are going to like each other or want much contact. It’s the conditioning and expectations that cause the problems not the reality of the situation.
We are highly conditioned to believe that family estrangement is something bad when it often is the highest choice for all involved.

Both situations are pretty common, more so than one might think and we all need to be able to depend on ourselves first and foremost of all. Yes, losing loved ones in a tragedy that you had enjoyed a good relationship with would be worse than than coping with relatives that are not interested in you. If someone is not interested in maintaining a relationship with me I am not going to lose sleep over it. Just because people are blood relatives doesn’t mean you have to like them or spend time with them.

Like any relationship, if the feelings are not mutual cut your losses and move on.

Jesus had it worse…

“Why oh father dost thou fucketh me overeth when thou is neither deadeth nor aliveth?”

“Thou even denieth me any payback for thy failings, a cash gift every noweth & theneth would surely cushioneth the bloweth”

Comfort? comfort for what? for who? how does comfort come into play with either scenario?

I have lots of living relatives whom I have not seen in decades. Most, I believe, would be happy to see me, and I them. I come from a large family of large families, so i know a lot of cousins who I rarely see, but who were very much a part of my childhood.

Almost all my relatives are dead or estranged. The only ones I miss are the dead ones.

“tragedy”

I choose not talking with them. I have a big family and I’m not keen on attending a bunch of funerals.

I have had close relatives die and I have close relatives I am estranged from. Neither situation is ‘better’ than the other. My estrangement from living relatives is the right thing for me and I would not change it at this point, but it does not make me happy. I feel sad that I do not have a healthy, happy relationship with my close relatives. However, I also recognise that having a close relationship with those people is not a healthy option for me right now. This is not an either/or situation. If I had to say which situation is more comfortable, you could argue death is the better option. If someone dies, they haven’t rejected you; they usually have not chosen to leave you. My family situation can be very awkward when there are weddings, funerals or when relatives from overseas visit. It means we have to figure out how to see them without having to see each other. Often they don’t know about the ‘estrangement’ and I personally don’t want to go into great detail about why I don’t have anything to do with my siblings.

I’ve dealt with both situations. It’s easier to forget about the estranged relatives because they don’t give a damn, so why should I?

@BellaB Comfort? comfort for what? for who? how does comfort come into play with either scenario?
The small comfort may come that the relatives are still living (since so much is paid to lives that are basically useless in a world that is just the world), they are not dead. Thus, there can be hope that over the coming years feelings will change and reconciliation can foster or bloom, if they are dead there is no hope of growing closer in the future.

When I love someone, I just want them to be happy. If they’re happy, that’s important to me. I’d rather be happy with them,but that’s not always how the world works.

I’d rather my loved ones be alive and happy without me,than dead…

Ahh ok then. Well, relatives aren’t as meaningful to me as friends. I love some relatives, don’t care about others. Having living relatives who I am not involved with is no comfort.

If you idolize 90% of any badass characters from any genre, then dead is better.