Who is persecuting you?

You’re wrong, I am & never have been in the least bit paranoid.
Although, our long since retired gardener Percy Kuting could qualify the employment agency as such.

My mother was paranoid. Literaly thought many people were “out to get her.” Said so herself. Bad day at work. Trouble paying bills. Family troubles. All part of a larger conspiracy against her. As a result, she was very secretive and angry. Not surprising since she likely had narcissistic personality disorder. Everything was about her.

I don’t see things that way. I run on the assumption that people are either generally kind, and wish me no ill will or too self-involved to give a hoot about me — much less be plotting against me.

Sure, we all have our own self-interests, and often yours may butt up against mine — but I’m pretty confident there’s no persecution afoot.

I could be wrong, but I sleep better believing that.

Probably the unknown Gods whose existence I refuse to believe.

I’m a Caucasian, heterosexual male. I live in the US and my first language is Americanish.

I realize most, if not all of the privileges attending that status, so my answer is nobody.

It’s tricky for me because it isn’t a “who.” It’s my own immune system. It is nobody’s fault, I have no one to blame, no place to put all the anger it causes me. My immune system isn’t conscious, it isn’t evil, it won’t respond to reason or pleading, it just is what it is. Nobody can simply convince it to stop being an asshole.

It is “my problem” in the sense that it only affects me and nobody contributed to causing the problem.

Getting help for my problem costs more money than a normal individual can possibly afford, so I need to use other people’s money. Many argue that denying me their money to treat my problem is not something I could consider persecution – what right do I have to their money to treat a problem that is mine and mine alone, that they played no part in causing?

I have no argument against this, because how can you convince someone who doesn’t just see it innately that helping other people is a good thing to do, or that people’s lives are more important than people’s money?

But I didn’t cause this problem either, and I didn’t ask to have it, and if there were anything in the world that I could do in order to not have it, I would have done that thing ten years ago. And though some will call me naive for it I just cannot accept that it’s okay to let people die because they were unlucky in the genetic lottery, if we can prevent it.

It’s such a helpless feeling. I have a problem I can’t control. I can’t survive without help, and I can’t convince people I deserve the help I need.

I am a man who walks alone
And when I’m walking a dark road
At night or strolling through the park

When the light begins to fade
I sometimes feel a little strange
A little anxious when it’s dark.

Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a constant fear that something’s always near
Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a phobia that someone’s always there

I have always had MAJOR self-esteem issues. I am my own worst enemy.

I had a boss who sandbagged me and falsified computer records to get me fired. I couldn’t do anything about it because his boss supported him. In retrospec I could have sued but that’s not how my mind works. My ex made threats

Other than that, as far as I know, nobody targets me.

There are corporate and (especially now) government entities working hard to make my life worse, but they’re working hard to make life worse for most Americans, not just me.

NYC Inc. was.

Did I bitch and moan about it?

No, I used my Constitutionally assured freedom to travel and moved back to Atlanta.

My 21 year old self. He set me up for failure. My 5 year old self didn’t do me any favories.

Jennifer Aniston.

The devil himself.