Is my boyfriend nitpicking me or am I looking for whats not there?

He’s picking a fight with you, but don’t ask me why. Don’t give him the satisfaction! Leave him. You can do better!

Maybe he’s just self centered and thinks if he does something it’s ok but if you do it, it’s not ok. I’d probably not tolerate this bullshit.

How long has this been going on? Has he always been like this or has it started recently?

To quote advice columnist Dan Savage, “dump the mother f-er already”.

That is bullshit nit picking, and I would not put up with it.

He is tired of you and trying to drive you away but at the same time you are being overly sensitive and looking for things to complain about.

I think it is time to find a new boyfriend.

Thank you everyone for your answers, I needed some outside perspective as he can often make me feel like I’m being an idiot or too sensitive. This behavior started awhile ago, but it doesn’t happen very often and tends to catch me by surprise when he does do it. It is time to start looking for a way out of this relationship.

Your statement “he’s trying to mask some insecurity by bringing me down” sums up what he is doing. If you don’t want to be with someone who undermines you and wants to bolster their own confidence by making you feel stupid, yes, find a way out of this relationship. Good on you for noticing these traits and realising something is just not right.

First of all I think you are awesome. You are cheap and like video games, but you will splurge for good cheese. You are every nerds fantasy.

And second, you can’t fix him. My sister tried to fix her last husband and that ended in multiple calls to the police and a divorce.

I seriously don’t get why people stay in bad relationships when you are just dating. If you aren’t happy DTMFA (You can’t fix him). Someone out there will make you happy.

Why not settle this issue like an adult. Ask him to sit with you and talk about this issue. If he’s being denial or defensive then I say can you dump him right away. If he could provide reasonable excuses for his actions then I suggest you ponder even more whether or not both of you have your own share of mistakes that culminate in to this issue.

^I second having a discussion with him. Maybe he doesn’t realize he is doing that. Or how often he is doing it.
His reaction should tell you how to proceed with your relationship.
I do have to say though, that everyone I know would have been high fiving me for finding the same game in the same store for a dollar less.

Yep, I wouldn’t tolerate that behavior either but…sit him down and express your feelings. Tell him straight up and give the examples you have shared with us here. If he can’t or won’t validate your feelings and observations and make an effort to catch himself when he is going down the critical path then time to dump him and move him.

Don’t let him gaslight you either. If he does that shit, dump him. He sounds immature and of poor character. If he is just teasing you, trying to be funny and isn’t serious, that’s one, thing, but that’s not what this sounds like.

I’ve tried having sit down and having adult discussions with him before in the past, and it usually doesn’t turn out so well, or it does and things are great for a week and then they start resorting back to usual but just a tiny bit better. We live together so I’m working on getting some of my stuff stored at a friends house right now, so that when I dump him I can grab most of my things and leave for awhile and not have to see him until he’s all the way out of the apartment.
The reason I’ve waited so long is because we live together, I’ve been getting over my insecurities (been working very hard on my self esteem), and his car is stuck in snow so I was afraid that if I told him to leave that he’d just hang around and make things really difficult.

But those are all excuses, I recognize that. It’s time to leave, period. Thanks again everyone for the advice I really appreciate nice honest answers.

I’m betting if and when you leave him he’s going to cry like a baby and beg for mercy.

Take care @SamiCYa. We’d love to have an update on how things are going for you. It sounds like that work on your self-esteem is going well. Good for you!