What does it mean when a guys asks the question what are we?

Whatever YOU think you are or might in time become.

I’ll just add that I feel his using the word “love” after only 90 days is not only premature, it’s immature.

Oh, the dreaded, DTR talk. (Define the Relationship). Be honest. Don’t worry about hurting his feelings.

Okay…but will it be weird for me to answer and say i wanna be in his life..or that’s his line

By the way, take your time pondering that. Don’t let him pressure you.

Men and women aren’t separate species. If he’s asking this question, it probably means what it usually means: he wants the two of you to be in some sort of defined or “official” relationship. People who want to keep it casual don’t call the question because staying undefined helps them. They can always resort to lines like “we never said what we were” or “there’s nothing official going on here.”

Long story short, if he’s asking the question, he’s probably hoping that you’re going to say that the two of you are dating or that you want to be an “official” couple. If that’s what you want, go for it. And if it’s not, tell him that. Just tell him the truth and the rest will work itself out. You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want the same thing out of the relationship as you (whatever kind of relationship it is).

@Pachy I don’t agree that early use of “love” necessarily denotes immaturity. A lot depends on other factors. My first girlfriend used it right away, but it was clear from the casualness and tone that it was just how she differentiated romantic relationships from friendly ones. She hated the word “like” as a euphemism for attraction or romantic feelings. So she used “love” and was upfront about what the word meant to her (and what it didn’t mean). Hard to call that immature.

Are we just friends? Is this all we’ll ever be?
He must like you more than a friend to ask such a question. Time to pony up or let him go. Either way, give him an answer!

Just under three months IMO is enough time to feel true feelings of love but again IMO is a fragile and vulnerable time to actually feel comfortable to articulate to the other your most intimate of feelings. Give it a bit more time to when it feels natural and warranted and not expected or forced.

What I know about women is that when they first meet a gut, they know right then if he’ll be a lover or a friend. So it shouldn’t take any more time for her to know and be able to give a answer.

@kritiper we do? that’s definitely not my life experience.

__

In any case, three months is still well within the honeymoon period of a new relationship. I’d be cautious about thinking long-term/globally. Let the person know how you feel about them right now. Are you sexually interested/compatible? Do you like doing things together? Do you look forward to your time together? Be specific about how things are from your perspective. It will help make things clear. You can add how you’d like things to go in the future or how you imagine them but I’d suggest starting with how things are for you right now.

@BellaB According to a article in Playboy magazine, July 1994. “The Rules of Dating” by Tracey Pepper. (I don’t buy into everything the article tells, but some of it must be true. It may not be your experience, @BellaB , but it may apply to women in general. And, as the article states, women like to have their secrets and not have them revealed so I can understand why you wouldn’t divulge the truth of the matter, if truth it is.)

Thanks guys

@pachy. He’s the kind of person that doesn’t really use the *i love you” until he actually means it.
. Before that it was always like

@JeSuisRickSpringfield, I don’t disagree with you, and @omaa_et, you certainly know him, the situation, and your own mind better than any of the rest of us. Nonetheless, I still advise not taking it too fast.

I guess I’d say, “We’ll have to wait and see.” Three months isn’t very long.

Thanks pachy

Like how many months will you suggest @Dutchness

Months until what?

For us to start dating

Why is this question limited to the behavior of “guys?”

It’s what she’s experiencing personally.

Well @omaa_et. Ask him out on a date.
When I was in HS I slowly entered into a relationship with a boy, over the course of several weeks. Started out as good friends. He’s hang out at my house, I’d hang out at his. One day, over hotdogs and chips that his mom had made for us, which we were eating on the floor of his bedroom, he suddenly leaned over and kissed. I was a floored! It changed the nature of our friendship, but that’s where it started and went on for then next year, all through my Jr. year.
I don’t know that we ever officially “dated.”

So DO you want to start dating him?

Wait. You’re not dating yet? Probably too soon to be talking about love.

What IS dating in this context?

Yeah at dutchess
Lets see how things go