Why is it that after a while in the relationship....the guy starts acting funny?

Maybe he’s bored with the relationship. Or maybe there’s some factor outside the relationship. How are we suppose to know?

Every relationship is different and all the people in relationships are different. So many factors can be at play that it would be impossible for someone who doesn’t know you to make assumptions or judge.

I kinda agree with @Darth_Algar on this how are we supposed to know?
Maybe he is just really comfortable with the relationship and feels he doesn’t have to put in that extra effort or maybe he really is bored.
Maybe work is stressing him out.
Men can say the same thing about women.

Maybe you had sex too soon?

Could be one or more of many things: fear of commitment, insecurity, work or some other cause for stress, immaturity, and of course that down-deep-DNA thing about guys, “The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence.”

Sometimes it’s the girl.

@jca not ALL men are so shallow as to dump a woman once they got what they want. Immature men, probably, but who wants an immature man? I dragged Rick off to bed the first time he came to visit. It’s been 15 years now.

I’m curious as to why you phrased it the way you did: “Why is it that after a while in the relationship….the guy starts acting funny?”…does this happen frequently to you?

@Dutchess_III: Sometiemes having sex early in the relationship changes things in a negative way, sometimes it doesn’t. Just trying to figure out some possibilities as the OP has offered very little information.

@jca What would constitute too soon?

Granted, when you’re a high school kid, or even in your 20’s, and sex is some God awful mystery to be perused, it can have that effect, especially if that’s all he’s after in the first place.

@dutchess.yeah it happened once to me
I dated my friend we were so cool at first after 3months.we didn’t really talk much after that.and the relationship was just boring so I just ended it

“The common denominator in all your bad relationships is you.”

Odd. I have had woman do this to me. Was I dating men? This world is so confusing.

And you actually typed the answer you were looking for. Everyone gets bored in a relationship. It becomes routine. It basically boils down to when you like that routine and can you accept it over a long period of time.

It actually sounds like he is more into the relationship than you are. He has accepted the boring of eating spaghetti on the couch and watching a movie.

@omaa_et maybe @jca has a point. They get satiated with sex and then lose interest because they were never interested in you, as a person, to begin with, although even they probably didn’t realize that at first.

Men are first and foremost animals. They are hardwired to mate with as many females as possible. So at some point his dick tells him to move on to the next prey.

I have fucked the same woman hundreds of times and the sex was great. It was the downtime that was the problem. Those painful hours spent hearing gossip about others when I really didn’t care (obviously I am describing high school) and just wanted to go play basketball or skateboard.

So I moved the fuck on to someone that would talk about more than Dawson’s Creek.

In a vulgar, round about way, @johnpowell answered your question from a man’s POV. Sex is great when you’re having it, but you have to have something outside of sex, a shared interest in something, camping, photography, something to keep each other engaged.

Is any of this helping?

@chyna: It’s different for different relationships, different people. It’s not black and white. As @Dutchess_III pointed out, it’s not always the case at all.

It could be you, @omaa_et – maybe you don’t have the depth and personality to keep him interested?

There are two partners in a relationship. It isn’t any more HIS fault than it is yours.

@elbanditoroso well, that wasn’t very nice. Maybe she DOES have the depth and personality, but he doesn’t recognize it.
What is she supposed to do? Change her personality to keep him happy?

Maybe it’s time for you to ask him out on a date. Hanging out isn’t exactly the same as dating.

Why don’t you talk to him about how he views your relationship and about why he seems disengaged? That’s the mature thing to do. We can all guess at why he’s behaving as he is, but there’s really only one way to know for sure, and that’s to talk to him. If he still cares for you, perhaps you can work out some ways to make your relationship fun again.

Like a kid who has gotten all the ice cream he can eat, he now wants a new meal.

I don’t see anywhere on here where the OP said she has or has not slept with him. Can you all reserve judgement on something you have no idea about and be a little nicer to a newbie?

Isn’t this young person at school? I agree with @chyna, we need to reserve judgement and just answer the question.

@chyna

That’s the thing – we do have no idea, so all we can really do is make wild guesses at a situation we’ve been asked about, but have no knowledge of.

Well, if she hasn’t had sex with him, that also might be why he’s cooling down. Some guys, especially young ones, are that shallow.

@Darth_Algar Then if you don’t know enough specifics to answer the question then STFU and don’t answer.

He’s right @chyna. We’re just kind of floundering in the absence of any specifics. She asked us to answer a question we can’t answer unless we just guess.

Poor child. It’s coming down to “sex too fast,” and “not sex fast enough.” I have a feeling this is going to be a hit and run question, but in case she comes back I just want to say do not let any man push you into something you aren’t ready for. If you’re not having sex and you think that’s why he’s backing off, then cut him lose. You don’t need that shit in your life.

In the other question, she notes that they haven’t gone on a date yet.

Maybe he started developing a sense of humour….

ok, I’m out.

Sometimes thats who they really are. Everyone puts their best qualities forward in the very beginning. Some people turn into an entirely different person when they first meet someone and then the facade slowly melts away as they get more comfortable. With some of the losers I’ve ended up dating I notice the longer the relationship progresses the more the ‘asshole’ side of them comes out. I could be totally wrong too, its hard to say because everyone and every situation is different.

Exactly what am saying or trying to drive to @samiCYa

Thanks guys

Welcome to Fluther @omaa_et.

Since guys are actually seeking sex and not friendship, they get bored if things start looking to stagnant, too “friend”-ly. And if they really aren’t into you, the excitement of being with you wears off and they start looking for that excitement with some other girl.

So, what makes a guy stick around if sex is not quickly forthcoming @kritiper?

Who knows? Guys can be weird that way. Besides, maybe we can pick up one of her friends. Maybe we already have a eye on one of her friends…

@chyna I don’t see anywhere on here where the OP said she has or has not slept with him.
Realistically, what do you think? Unless she thought as allegedly ”another world” archaic, and backward as I am said to think and wait until there is a ring on it, sex is jumping off. ~~~

It is not anymore judgment than going off the preponderance of evidence to reason if you are not Muslim you are at risk traveling in the Middle East, that is just fact, not Muslim bashing.

What do you mean by that HC? Of course she had sex? She sounds like a high school kid to me.

^ What do you mean by that HC?
That t is not judgement to state the reasonable truth, and that he got the sex he wanted, is now bored with it, and seek to move on to greener pastures (to say it gently).

Boy, I wish you’d work on your proof reading skills.

OK. You made it clear, that’s all I was asking. Obviously it was clear to you from the beginning but many of us were not so sure. A great many of the men here can actually think with something other than their dick, and as for we women, we’re just obtuse. We have no idea what a landmine field sex can be.

^ We have no idea what a landmine field sex can be.
And yest we still have questions like this where people seemingly forgot the pitfalls they supposedly know about. ~~~

You’re blathering again HC

he does little else in the end of the discussions because he has no rational basis. It’s all blather and rant because he is what he is.

^ And redacted abound here patting each on the back to make appear what they say is truth

Oh, for fuck’s sake, just say what you mean. This ”redacted” bullshit makes you look namby-pamby.

OK. I see the light. Women have no idea what sex is really all about. I am saved by the truth. Thank you HC.

@Darth_Algar Oh, for fuck’s sake, just say what you mean.
Here you can only say what you mean if you are as left-leaning, anti-traditional, hedonistic, closet Satanist, bashing conservatives, then people can follow it, and even if they don’t follow it, will high five it just on GP, and not go whining to the mods. I can say something in general (as I do 99.8% of the time) and people will get offended because they see themselves in that fact.

@Dutchess_III OK. I see the light. Women have no idea what sex is really all about. I am saved by the truth. Thank you HC.
You are so welcome, my dear. ~~~

Now go tell all those other women who believe4 they know better who are still getting bamboozled on the field of love, we would not want them knowing it all yet stupid enough not to use proper reason, it might leave them looking delusional.

Sex is all about orgasms @Hypocrisy_Central. That’s all. Nothing more, nothing less.

^ Then they best stay with BOB (Battery Operated Boyfriend), no STDs, no drama, no hair in the bathroom sink, no pregnancies, go games.

If Bob has been worked too hard and is out of gas, a cucumber, summer saugage, or banana can stand in ~~~

@HC

Whining about your opinion being unpopular really makes you look namby-pamby. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and have the spine to stand behind your statements without crying about it.

And quicker and more reliable, HC. Much less work and no instructions needed.

@Dutchess_III and may I recommend rechargeable batteries. Saves me a fortune.

Thank you so much! But, you know, bathtub faucet is battery free. ;)

@Hypocrisy_Central I just read the rest of your post, about bananas and shit. Do you even know what a vibrator targets???? Or are you clueless about that too.