What is "dating"?

From a woman’s POV, I’ll assume, it’s about going out with a guy to have fun, meet friends, and see, inevitably, if this guy will qualify as husband material.
For a guy, it’s about sex, inevitably. Getting laid. Otherwise the guy wouldn’t be there because he actually has more fun with his guy friends, and with them, can really be himself.

(I would be killed if I suggested that, you know!)

Thanks for your thoughts @kritiper

Hey, guys! If you agree with me be sure to give me those “great answer” votes! Thanks!
(And you’re welcome, @Dutchess_III )

I certainly don’t agree. Dating for me was just that, I was looking for a LTR and ultimately a wife. If I could not see that past a few dates I did not waste my time.

I was confused by this when I was first single. Many people today use “we’re dating” as synonymous with “we’re in a relationship.” So not just casually going out on what I would call dates but a semi-committed to each other relationship – although not necessarily long term.

I wonder if it’s another euphemism for “having sex” today.

@Dutchess_III No – not necessarily but I guess in some cases it could be.

I’m thinking back to the question that prompted this. Obviously it was a young girl. She indicated that they’d been hanging out for 3 months, and why was he getting bored? When the sex questions started she commented that they weren’t “dating.”

I stand by my answers. It means exclusivity but no necessarily sex.

That’s what it means to me, too.

People are made, at least partially, of carbon. That’s part of what gives us, biologically, the ability to live and survive. it’s essential to human life.

Do “carbon dating” is when you are going out with another human being.

It’s a lame, but necessary social practice where you go on an awkward outing with someone to determine whether or not you could eventually do more with them (long-term relationship, sex, etc. whatever your goals are.)

Source: 25-year-old gay guy from California.

I have a friend who thinks that if a woman agrees to a date, she is agreeing to sex. I think he’s out of his mind!

@elbanditoroso Um. All life is carbon based. That doesn’t really explain anything. Rabbits are carbon based, too. and fish. As are all other animals, most of which do not give the female the opportunity to say “No.” or “I’ll have to think about this.”

@kritiper so do the women he offers to “date.” He assumes they’re on the same page, which, of course, they aren’t. I guess this takes both sides by surprise. He’s frustrated, she’s disappointed.

To further qualify, I think it does imply romantic or physical feelings and exclusivity these days where among us older folks, a date was doing something with someone that might at some point lead to sex or romance. I got in trouble with the first guy I was friends with when I assumed our hanging out frequently was some sort of relationship and he said we weren’t “dating.” When I asked what that meant to him, the bottom line was sex and exclusivity.

Wait. I missed you joke @elbanditoroso! Sorry.

Well, that’s what “dating” means to me too, except not necessarily the sex part @janbb. I’m sure the first guy you were hanging out with wasn’t adverse to sex but to exclusivity.

@Dutchess_III No, actually he did not want sex with me. My experience may be different than yours but I don’t find that all men are always wanting sex.

Did you ask him if he wanted sex?

Dating means different things to different people. So I don’t know what that jellyite meant. I always felt that American dating seemed to be a very unnatural and mostly unappealing context, that I avoided as much as possible. I relate(d) to interactions with women as what they were, avoiding those mindframes as much as I could. Since I’ve spent almost all of my adult life in serious relationships, I seem to have done well enough without it. However I have had women request an explicit date, though at that point we were already in a love relationship, so most of the parts of the dating frame that I find atrocious weren’t really in play.

I think of “first dates” and “second dates.” After that, if they’re still on, they’re “dating.”

There’s no consistent definition. You have to ask the people who are doing (or not doing) the dating.

Is has to be consistent within a society, or subset of a society. The word is used for communicating the nature of a relationship.

@Dutchess_III If that were true, you would not have needed to ask this question of Fluther, and you would not need to ask the jelly in the question what they meant.

Some words in our language are simply ambiguous. Others are in the process of changing their meanings. The word “dating” is not like the words “table” or “elbow”. We need clarification before we understand its meaning to the person using it, and to determine whether the person speaking defines it in the same way as the person hearing it.

dappled_leaves The subset, in this situation, was, I believe, a much younger person who said “So, it’s been 3 months…” 3 months, he was talking about love, and she said, “We aren’t dating.” So…what are you doing, hanging out for 3 months, if not dating,? A person of her subset would probably understand the comment better than I.