How do I tactfully deal with my acquaintance's girl crush?

Wowsa… That is way beyond anything I can offer advice on…. Good luck.

All I can really say is are you happy?

@johnpowell I’m very happily monogamous with my partner and have no desire to indulge in any sort of dalliance with this woman.

If she passed out shortly after cuddling up, I’d tend to suspect and/or make room for the possibility that she was in a drunken state that doesn’t reflect her waking state entirely. There are some people who when they’re quite drunk get quite sexual in ways that don’t have much to do with their waking state, and they may not even remember it. In any case, that she has a drinking problem and gets that way for whatever reason is an issue, but it’s possible that her sober/conscious persona doesn’t have that sort/level of crush on you.

I’d suggest avoiding her when she’s drunk if possible, and size her up when sober. Or if it really makes you uncomfortable, of course you can set boundaries but I’d recommend doing that with full open frankness, and in person not via electric writing. You should be able to communicate with sober her that she got over flirty and you’re happily monogamous, and she should be able to hear and respect that, and if not, she has more serious issues and you have every right to avoid her entirely in that case. If that’s not an issue and you still just would rather not spend much time with her, then that should be ok too.

I wouldn’t even address the part about her saying you should hang out. I’d avoid that topic. I’d respond with someting like “Hi Jen, thanks for having us over. We had a great time. We look forward to the next gathering.” Keep it simple, keep it off any topic you don’t want to discuss, hopefully she gets the hint and doesn’t pursue anything further.

Does she even remember what the hell she was doing? If not then problem solved.

I had a roomate that had a knack for picking up these types as he was one himself. Never underestimate what will come out of a drunken person’s mouth with bipolar disorder. Honestly, I would pretend it never happened and hope it never comes up again.

Be honest with her if it comes to confronting the issue. Then, watch your back!

Surely you have learned to set boundaries with people over unwanted attention by now. Just avoid her for a while and see if it goes away.

@janbb

Yeah, I told my SO that I’ll need to opt-out of social gatherings with them for a month or two and hope it cools down.

@jca and @janbb have the best advice: disengage as much as possible.

Talk to your boyfriend, let him know that this may put a damper on his friendship with his buddy, and that it is not about the buddy, but about Jen. It’s up to your boyfriend to discuss Jen with his friend.

@zenvelo I certainly don’t want to put a damper on my BF’s friendship with Jen’s boyfriend. They’ve been friends for the better part of a decade and he’s only been with Jen for three years—and quite frankly, I don’t think they will be together much longer with her possible mental illness and long history of inappropriate behavior.

I’ll just personally opt-out of gatherings where she’ll be present for a while.

Gosh, if it happens again can you kindly tell her “No,” and gently push her back into her own space?

Sounds like she was on Molly.

I’d brush it off and avoid her in the future.

@Seek Nope, that’s kind of the norm for her. And if she was on Molly, she’s a b*tch for not sharing—especially since I baked a cake and made guac!

@Seek I think you just decoded that one. Does sound like it.