How much influence do parents have in developing their children's attitudes and beliefs, especially in the first 20 years, and at what point do we begin to hold the child responsible for those traits as an adult?
For better or worse.
If the child is raised to be an awful person, because that’s what his parents expected of him (whether they know it is awful or not) at what point do we start blaming the “child,” the offspring for their own behavior, which was taught?
I understand some kids just turn out the way they turn out, really through no fault of the parents. But let’s set that aside, and focus on the parent deliberately raising a child a certain way,for example, to be racist or intolerant or sexist, etc.
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You need to quit making everything you say, judgement of others.
This question is flame bait.
You can read it that way if you wish.
I think the actual influence of parents sharply declines, once children enter school, get immersed in a crowd of their peers, and get access to mass media (tv, music, games, internet).
That and religious indoctrination in their immediate community.
The child is through developing beliefs & attitudes by the age 8 or 9.
My sister has had issues pretty much since puberty, and into her adult life. At 54 she still does. But she blames our Mom for them, 100%. I asked her where the blame ended? Why blame Mom? What about her parents? Was Mom’s behavior their fault, there fore you can’t blame Mom only them. Or our great grandparents?
I’ve always believed that kids are done “baking” by age 30. When they reach that point in life, they’re fully-developed adults and responsible for their own behavior. For better or worse, the person has become the man or woman he/she’s going to be.
Beliefs, understanding, comprehension are everchanging, so long as new input remains available.
Lots of eight year old boys want to be firemen, lots more than fifteen year olds who want to be firefighters.
If character development stopped by puberty, well, really.
How many of us here grew up in Churches, Temples, Synagogues, who no longer believe in any deities?
Scars can be caused in childhood which will stay with us forever, but those who truely wish to survive find a way to move on, with those scars.
I think they have a very high level of influence the first 20 years. The biggest thing is actions. Parents provide modeling for the child, and that I think is very important.
9 times out of 10 it’s easy to see the apple does not fall far from the tree.
Other people definitely matter though. Teachers, relatives, and various other people in the life of a child have some influence too.
As far as racism, I actually know a lot of people who got more “racist” when they were adults, having had parents who did not teach racism. I hear people say it’s always taught, but it isn’t. I put racism in quotes, because I’m not talking about white supremacy stuff, I’m just talking more prejudices and stereotypes.
Yes. When you indoctrinate a child from birth to 5 that “magic is real but not real,” they believe it and it’s HARD to shake.
Religion is mental child rape.
Not always @ragingloli. It depends on how militant the parents are. Mine weren’t militant, and believing in God didn’t hurt me.
The very fact that you once believed in lies is damage.
@ragingloli And those that believe in God feel you are the one that is damaged.
Hey @ragingloli. I’ve let go of a LOT of things, not just from my childhood, but things I choose to accept as an adult. It hasn’t damaged me. It’s called “growing up.”
From the way you talk, you’re as damaged, maybe more so, than anyone else.
Believing in lies is damage? OH SHIT!
We truly are fucked.
Virtually every faction of human existence tells lie stories to their children and neighbors.
Gods, angels, saints, Santa, demons, elves, leprechauns, fairies, witches, wizards, heaven, hell, Olympus,
and before anyone gets on me about witches…
you know darn well I mean the starts a fire by pointing a finger and eats Hanzel and Gretal kind.
We have had stories to fictionally explain all things not understood, human character, and moreover to simply entertain.
If anybody is adversly affected by such make believe, it is their own weakness to be blamed. Otherwise, we, every last one of us is guilty, and also victim.
Deep breath; so there.
I think he was referring to parents who are unyielding militant, which my parents weren’t. But some are and they can do horrible damage. However, I think those same parents would do just as much damage without religion. Some people are just sick.
Ragingloli specifically said that the fact you believed the lies is damage. That sounds all inclusive to me.
@Dutchess_III
I agree, but I’m still curious about @raginglolipop’s opinion on this.
Our family was mildly Roman Catholic for the first 11 years of my life, and then we became totally secular when church attendance interfered with remodeling our house.
Since any semblances of Xianity (except for not partaking of mammalian flesh on Friday) were left at the church when we went home, I don’t remember experiencing any damage at all.
”...when church attendance interfered with remodeling our house.” LOL!
We didn’t go to church very often either. It was soooooooo boring and it interfered with my sleeping. I enjoyed summer Bible school though.
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