Do you think this is why my immune system seems low?

Absolfuckinglitely!!!!1

But not in the romantic sense. I lived in a RV for a few years where I pretty much only saw one person that dropped off supplies. Never got sick.

Then I moved in with my sisters son and was always around people. I was constantly getting sick. So there is something about your immune system needing some “dirt”. My body just wasn’t used to the nasties (like a flu shot)

And it doesn’t even have to be sexytime to get you sick. I am pretty sure I got really sick on the bus by holding the handrail.Everyone in my apartment was gone for a month and about a week in I took the bus for food and two days later I was very sick. The bus trip was the only time I left the apartment.

@johnpowell I think you misunderstood. I’m saying that the lack of physical contact is why I’m getting sick, not the opposite. I*m exposed to just as many bugs because of work, the bus and such, but now that there is no physical affection, my immune system is down, maybe? Don’t they say that hugs and such help one’s immune system?

I am also saying the lack is why you get sick. It is those rare instances that you do make contact that get germs and your body can’t deal with them.

I work with poopy diapers and runny noses every day. I’d say I’m well and consistently exposed. What I lack now is that loving contact of hugs and emotional support.

I’d blame it on the boogery Petrie dishes you work with.

When I was teaching at a preschool I was sick all the time. Your body can only fight off so much at a time.

I think the primary reason is you’re working with small children. Children are germ vectors.

My theory for you is you fell sick, then sick again, and it’s taxing on your body. Then you’re in a state of being weakened, and it’s easy to get sick again. It’s a vicious cycle.

Lots of people will tell you herbs and vitamins to take, I’m not much into that, but I will say I noticed when my iron is low I catch more colds. If you tend to be anemic, try to keep it up, and see if it helps.

Also, if you are using more caffeine, that might be a culprit with shingles, but if I remember correctly you had an injury that seemed to aggravate the area you had the outbreak.

Yes, I definitely think the lack of love and affection has a lot to do with it. Combine that with the fact that you seem a bit stressed lately, concerned about the future, thinking about citizenship options and like most of us, you are probably still feeling the shock of the Trump victory and the uncertainty that brings. Add to that the fact that you live at 53 N with the other half of a long, dark, cold winter still ahead—and most significantly—you work all day surrounded by those darling little biped germ incubators who have probably yet to learn good hygiene practices.

Are you getting any outdoor excercise? Fresh air? Adequate sunlight? Are you drinking your eight 8 ounce glasses of fresh water everyday, unadulterated by tea, coffee, or anything else? Have your eating habits changed? Are you eating fresh foods regularly? These all can be contributing factors. Are you feeling overwhelmed at home or at work? Are you at all depressed? We won’t discuss age.

All of these things can be contributing factors that can weaken the immune system. Stress is a biggie.

I’m just going to add you might want to obsess more about washing your hands and not touching your face. You probably do this already, because I know childcare usually emphasizes washing hands. Remember the handle you touch to turn on the water is germy, unless you’re lucky and the place you work at put in a foot controlled sink.

The viruses get in by entering the eyes, nose, or mouth. In a cold climate you are more likely to get a runny noses (not from illness, just from the physical cold) and then you might touch your nose! Grab a Kleenex, put the germs from little Heidi on the tissue, then put it right to your nose. I personally think this is another reason for increases in illness in cold weather.

You work with babies, so I assume you are getting cuddle time with them? I do think part of the reason many new mothers aren’t very interested in sex is because they get physical contact fulfillment from the baby. They are on overload in fact, and need time with nothing on top of them. I think touch is a delicate balance, and all touch counts.

@Espiritus_Corvus I’m not at 53, I’m at 63N. I think you’re right, that the darkness really got to me this year.

@JLeslie I’ve been working this job with kids for over 3 years now and this year has been far worse. We wash our hands like crazy, but it is hard to avoid the germs all the time, especially when I occasionally eat with them. I do get cuddles with the kids, especially when we pick them up from their naps. The ones that need it, get time on our laps and that is really lovely, quality time, but honestly, the stress from the crying and crowd control that is most of our day drains the energy reserves.

Since you work with kids you get everything and you are constantly recovering from whatever you had last and more easily catch what is next. I see that with others in your situation. Missing out on physical affection probably is slowing your recovery time though.

@cazzie This year in America is a big year for flu and various illnesses. I don’t know if that’s the case where you are. I looked up the flu map here and it was looking bad. But, you’re not just talking about flu, I understand that.

Double up on your Vitamin C. Even if it’s too much and you pee it out, it’s better to have too much than too little.

@jca there is no scientific evidence supporting extra vit C and avoiding illnesses. I may as well eat raw pasta and say it wards off pastafarians.

I am old and have been stressed. I’m in the process of paying off a big factor of stress at the moment. The people involved are not making it easy, but the end is in sight (unless they decided they can fuck me around more, which I’m hoping not and trying to take their power to do so away by purchasing the whole damn thing. I figure, if I have to pay money into this thing, I may as well end up owning and kick them to the curb.)

Insofar as the stress and distress of a break up, and likely a certain amount of not unexpected depression, concern over citizenship and world events will contribute somewhat to to immunosupression, then sure, a bit.
But the simple fact of not having a physical relationship, not so much. You have physical contact with other humans (the little ones at work), your body doesn’t differentiate, as long as it’s not negative or painful contact.

@canidmajor I’d say there is more negative and painful contact at work than positive. It’s a stressful job and requires a great amount of energy. Not many workers over 50 stay. I’m the oldest one there who works more than 50%.

@Seek yeah, they really are boogiery snotty petri dishes. We had some nasty puking flu going around which I seemed to get two strains of and a fever/sore throat virus or two. One of the day care places had a more than 50% absentee rate due to chicken pox, so that made for some quieter days. I’m sure between my son at his school, him going to his father’s in the city every other weekend, and then me dividing my time at two different daycare centres at opposite sides of the city as well as riding the very crowded bus as my only form of transport, I should be wearing goggles and a face-mask.

I keep a 750ml flask of water next to me at home and I drink glasses of water when the kids are eating their meals. We are encouraged to drink water at these times and given glasses to do so. We are also allowed to eat with the kids, but I avoid this because the kids cough and sneeze at the table. I think I’m just getting old and I maybe I’m not eating as well as I should, especially this time of year.

No wonder you got so upset about my chicken pox remark. Which I truly do apologize for, but I am curious to know if it happened right before or after your shingles. Like did it trigger you, or did you infect them. They say shingles isn’t “contagious” but like I said a girlfriend of mine has her doubts. I always wonder if I had been near someone with shingles when mine pops up.

I always say I’m going to rent myself out for chicken pox parties, when I have an outbreak, to all the mommies who want there kids to catch chicken pox young. We know it’s contagious in that direction.

So here’s the case for hugs and physical touch being effective to boost the immune system. What they’re really saying is if people self-report that they are supported and lack stress, they’re healthier.

So if you can somehow be more supported, feel more supported, or feel less stressed, then go for it, right?

In contrast, you dismiss vitamin C, but it has been shown to help with some immune functions and reduce the time to recover. So probably not a bad choice, even if it’s just a cup of OJ or more vitamin C rich foods (broccoli!).

There’s a pretty good write up from Harvard Medical School that takes a skeptical approach to many things, but also shows possible connections, without overstating any one.

Basically it seems if you feel good about something, it’s probably helping. Get the hugs, get the vitamin C, get the sunshine, get the smiles, get the exercise, take care of yourself, lower stress, and enjoy life. You’ll still get sick, but you’ll be happier. Science says so.

@cazzie: Have you had you blood levels checked recently?

I ask because you may say there’s no scientific evidence for Vitamin C, but our bodies need it. If you have your levels checked and some levels are found to be deficient, that may explain things, or help explain things. I get mine checked on a regular basis and the doctor sits with me and goes over each thing I’m deficient in and explains to me why it’s important that I get that level up. Maybe my doctor is an idiot, I don’t know but he’s not selling supplements, he’s recommending what I should take and I get it from Costco.

I’ve been less sick in the past five years since I’ve been living along without a romantic partner. I wouldn’t think that’s the cause of your illnesses.

I’m more inclined to believe vitamin D plays a role than vitamin C. Before I kept my levels up I got sick all the time, now it almost never happens.

I’m usually very active. I’m out playing with the kids for at least an hour in what ever weather and, because of my routine with bus stops, I walk well over 3km every day. I’ve been on crutches for 3 weeks and off work and have just started venturing out for short trips just for groceries and I seem to be doing OK. I think the knee is finally showing some improvement.
It has been a long, dark winter. No snow, or little snow that didn’t last long on the ground to help reflect what little light we do get, but the days are getting longer.
Not more than 4 weeks ago, I did have my blood done and she did everything, including my vit D and Iron. Everything was fine. Like I said, I eat sort of OK. A bit up and down, but I don’t eat junk. I pretty much always have fruit in the house as a healthy snack, especially for the kid, who is eating me out of house and home at the moment. Every winter, Norway imports tonnes and tonnes of mandarins and they are really cheap and my fruit bowl stays full of them. At the moment, we are getting delicious fuji apples from China and yummy red grapes, soon the cheap oranges from Spain will be here. My kid isn’t a sandwich kid, so I make him pasta salads for his lunch, so there are always tomatoes, cucumber and bell pepper in the fridge and I sprinkle on sunflower seeds. I put the veggies on sandwiches for myself or eat as a salad. So, I think I eat ok. Sometimes on the weekends when the kiddo isn’t here, I just eat a frozen pizza and eggs on toast, but I don’t think that’s too bad. I’m not fat, but I’m no longer really skinny.
I think it’s just that I’m older now. I’m not bouncing back as quickly as I used to. I don’t have much patience for it. The past three weeks have felt like three months.

No, I don’t think so, @cazzie. If you’re out and about at all you’re exposed.

I was just thinking that I don’t think nuns gets sick more. I really don’t know for sure though. There are nun studies done for various things when they want to study women who don’t have sex or romantic relationships.

Also, if you feel deprived of touch you can consider a message, or even a facial or mani-pedi.

Progress. The kiddo sat with me for 10 minutes before he had to leave for school.

Nuns live with other nus and a belief system that comforts them that I, obviously, don’t share. I’m not talking about romantic love. I’m talking about friends and family and a support system who hug or hold your hand. Having people around you like that. I’m sure I’m just being a weakling and I need to buck up. I think having a long distance relationship off and on, like I’ve had for the last 3 or so years is making my brain soft. I should just cut it loose.

^^I thought your husband traveled a lot as well?

Interesting point you made about the friends and hugs and hand holding. My husband is always a little off kilter when we visit my friends in the Midwest, because they hug when they great you. His culture it’s a kiss or air kiss, barely a touch, unless you are very close and then it might be a kiss and a hug. He thinks it’s very very odd to hug someone you are not very very close to. Remember, these are basically my friends, who he likes very much, but the relationship is through me.

I think there are two things going on. One, you’ve been sick a lot, which sucks. The other thing is maybe you’re feeling lonely, and I think try to put some energy into a friendship, or friendships, so you feel more connected. Where you live, not internet. I think partly why we all like fluther is feeling connected. Go to a class, I go to Zumba, ask a neighbor to go to dinner, bring a neighbor some cookies. Strike up a new connection.

I don’t have a husband, @JLeslie.

When you had one obviously. I wrote “as well.” Meaning similar to your current bf.

My mistake. Ex-husband, to be more accurate. Your ex husband traveled a lot as well.

But my emotional attachment wasn’t as strong as with my current boyfriend and my current boyfriend is here for 7 days here, 10 days there during the year. Much less than my husband was. Trying to fit current boyfriend in as anything other than a ‘visitor’ that disrupts the daily routine is impossible. We love him, but he doesn’t live here and it’s more painful than not most weeks. I feel it is taking a toll. He’s the best man I’ve ever known, but we can’t be together. This type of heartbreak spread out over years is not fun.

I am looking forward to the March for Science April 22, where I am hoping to meet more like-minded folks and can perhaps spread my friendship circle in a real-life. face-to-face sort of way.

I see. I wasn’t so much trying to analyze your emotional attachment and the emotional difficulties, as much as just talking about his physical presence, since the Q had talked a lot about physical touch.

However, I do understand better now how and why it is taking so much of a toll on you with his travel, and as you said he doesn’t live with you, so you don’t have his full presence when he is home.

I think you are going through a really tough time. Making decisions, and dealing with doctors, being in physical discomfort. Add in having to break things off, because of circumstance, that’s always quite sad. It’s so much @cazzie. Plus, you’re a mommy, with all the responsibility that comes raising your son. Maybe your body is helping you know you are overwhelmed.

Here is a weird idea that I Don’t really open myself up for. Do you think that Virtual Touching is as beneficial? My boyfriend and I have a section of land in Second Life. I’ve disassociated myself from my avatar as being any sort of actual physical manifestation of me. As far as I’m concerned it’s a doll that says what I want it to and interacts very clinically with what is going on. It’s pixels on the screen. Nothing more. If I let myself by in to the idea that ‘virtual hugs’ or other acts of affection. are as good or almost as good as the real thing…. Do you think this might help?

I’m thinking nothing replaces real touch. But, I also think that it has more to do with stress level regarding your immunity. There are other things you can do for your stress level. I think it was @jca who said get some blood tests. I think that’s a good idea too next time you’re at the doctor. You’re in the midst of medical crap, so you are seeing a doctor anyway. Check iron, D, B12 (I’ve often wondered if there is a B12 connection with shingles) thyroid, magnesium, and whatever else, if you haven’t in a while. Every little bit counts.

There are studies showing pets/dogs bring down blood pressure and improve mood. I’m not a dog person, but maybe you are.

The exposure to the germ vectors in your workplace is another thing, and it’s real, and I still the the most important factor. The reason I avoid internists/GP’s/family doctors, is because there are contagious people there.

Oh… I have no doubt.. I need a pet….. I often think of kidnapping the neighbours dog.

@cazzie I think it’s the connection that’s beneficial. It’s how you feel about it. Spooning with someone you don’t feel warmly about isn’t going to help as much as an unexpected text message from someone you love that lights up your day.

So if virtual hugs make you feel connected, then I think they could definitely help.

@funkdaddy You might be on to something. Sad thing, you might be too late and I may have just lost everything.

(((GROUP HUG!!))))))))))

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¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸ CAZZIE!!! ¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸
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Wait @cazzie… What do you mean you may have just lost everything?

Well, that’s up to my kid. What ever. funny thing is, here…. you don’t have to hit your kid…. if you lose your nut and smash a plate…. that’s good enough….. they’ll take the kid away and you’ll be left with nothing and no one to live for. Good thing is… I have some great organic chemistry knowledge.

@cazzie – I’m sorry. I hope it works out and think it probably will.

I can’t claim to completely understand what you’re going through, but if you want to vent to someone 5000 miles away, feel free to send me a PM here, we’ll figure something out.