Why are we not together?
Asked by
Eggie (
5926
)
February 14th, 2017
There is this woman that has come in as a trainee teacher in the school where I work. She is 25 years old and she is single. We talked and exchanged numbers and I tried to go out on dates with her but she says she doesnt have the time due to her studying for a teaching degree and she also owns her own business by selling food in the afternoons some days for a week. To tell the truth it is also difficult for me to go on dates because I am saving to get a car. Anyhow, I never admitted to liking her or showing any real affection but she said she knew I liked her and she saw how I always sneak peaks at her when she passes. She told me this on Facebook. One afternoon when I was talking to her, on Facebook I told her she looked really hot today wearing that tight black skirt. She laughed; told me jokingly that I should be paying attention to my class and then she told me to go on Whatsapp since I have an account there too. To my surprise and great pleasure, she sent me a nude front photo of herself! She of course told me to delete it but I saved it to private photos on my smartphone. I will never, ever show anyone else those photos and I don’t plan on doing so because I like her and I respect her privacy and trust. The part that is confusing is that I tried to get her on some dates after but she always never goes because of excuses dealing with her studies and work. Once we hung out together but that was a staff outing so it wasnt really personal. Just recently we chatted again on Whatsapp and she send me some nudes; after I begged (like I said, she does not do it often very rarely and on occasion). My question is does she really like me? If so why doesn’t she make time to go out with me? My friend noticed the way she talks to me and he says it is because I should be more assertive, maybe that is true but we do work together and I do not want to make a scene at work so I ask her on dates discreetly. Bottom line, I do not believe that it is just circumstance that she is blowing me off.
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16 Answers
I am sorry for the long details but I really wanted to give you all the full story. Also, I deleted the photos she sent me after a few months of enjoying them in my private, alone time…. We know each other for one year now and just recently she sent me two more!
She likes the attention, but she’s just not that into you. It’s sort of sad.
I agree with Cazzie.
Also, it’s stupid of her to send nudes to anyone as a school teacher.
If those get out she’ll lose her career and potentially end up in jail.
Relationships at work are not usually a good idea and sending nude pictures of yourself to colleagues is very stupid. I would delete these pictures, tell her you have done so, let her know how stupid it was and move on gracefully.
She made her move, time for you to make yours.
I have to wonder how many others she is sending nude pictures to.
I won’t criticize why she sent you nude pics as I have also done that but only to those I like (and the recipient must also reciprocate).
You’ll have to ask her what she think about you, how you look like, or what she like about you, etc to judge how attracted she is toward you. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt that she really is busy with her work and the time you ask her for date is conflicting with her working schedule. It’s also possible that she doesn’t like the place for dating and couldn’t possibly bring herself to honestly object your suggestion.
This seems like very odd behavior to me. It may well be that she doesn’t have time to date but then why “flirt” or whatever it is by sending the pics. I wouldn’t think about this too much but look to date elsewhere. And maybe talk to her about the pics, as others have said, they are not a good idea for her career-wise.
Beware. Delightful as the photos may be, and despite your apparent exhilaration in being smitten, here’s a valentine for you. SNAP OUT OF IT. Try to take an objective view of your sweetie’s judgement in blessing you with those photos. I have memories of a time when I would have regarded such “gifts” as a sure sign that my smiting was the work of someone head-over-heels for me, but trust me: “these aren’t the signs you’re looking for”. And in case you’re so love struck as to be considering it, PLEASE keep the nudies of you to yourself. One day you will emerge from this trance. You can thank me then.
Also, delete the photo she sent you, like she asked.
@Seek she should never have sent them in the first place. It was really stupid. I mean, she barely knows the guy. So if @Eggie gets angry with her at some point, and shares those pics to get even, she’s up a creek. And how many other men has she sent pictures of herself to? I hope she never gets her teaching degree. She’s too damn dumb to be a teacher.
Well, that water is under the bridge, and I don’t know this chick.
I do know @Eggie, and I certainly hope he’s honorable enough to do the right thing.
Oh, I mean to convey that in my comment, that I don’t think @Eggie would do that. Sorry Eggie. I forgot. But I’m sure she’s sent pictures to other men.
If the shoe was on the other foot, ladies, and a guy was sending you unsolicited nude pictures of themselves, what would you think? I’d drop him from my radar so fast he wouldn’t know what hit him.
@Dutchess_III No matter what happens I will never show those pictures to anyone. Her getting me angry or whatever she does will not make me do that to any woman. She is not the only one that sent nudes to me. My ex did it too. Furthermore, it is stupid to send nudes but I would be a major loser and a creep to share those photos for her to end up losing her job. FTR sending nudes of yourself isnt all that stupid. If everyone was “smart” there would be no fun in the world.
I know that @Eggie. I’m saying she was foolish because she’s probably sent them to others, also asking them not to share.
If a male sent me an unsolicited nude photo I would throw up.
If you tried to go on dates with her and she said no, then give it up and there’s your answer to “why are we not together.” She apparently likes to flirt but doesn’t like you enough to go out with you. It’s better you don’t get involved with someone at work anyway. Flirting is ok but don’t expect anything more. If she sends you photos don’t respond to them and maybe she’ll stop being so pushy. Maybe you like the attention. Maybe she likes the attention. If you both like it, you’ll both sustain it.
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