Age gap between your son/daughter and their new flame, would this bother you?

Why would that bother me?

I wouldn’t really mind, as long as they’re happy. I may dislike him/her as a person, if s/he’s an ass, but definitely not because of the wage gap.

After all, I myself may fall for someone considerably older than me. Then what? How would I like my parents to react to it?

It would really depend on their maturity level. My daughter is 31, and she recently started dating a guy who is, like, 46. Apparently they really, really like each other. I don’t think about the fact that there is less of an age difference between him and me, than there is between my daughter and him!

Now, if she was 16 and tried to hook up with a 26 year old, hell on fire, I’d go after him!

I met my husband when I was 19 and he was 35. Our tenth wedding anniversary is in July.

No, it wouldn’t bother me.

If it was 23 – 34 I’d be fine with it, if a bit curious why the 34 year-old was interested in a 23-year old. At the 20 – 38 end I’d be a bit concerned initially, regardless of whether my child was the 20 year old or the 38 year old. That seems a bit too big of a power/maturity spread, but the reality of the two individuals could well make sense.

Decades ago, a group of us went to visit another of our friends. Most of us were in our mid-20’s, our friend was 30. He happily introduced us to his new girlfriend and went off to bbq – leaving us to get to know his girlfriend. We all had dinner together. His girlfriend left and the rest of us sat around chatting. He wanted to know what we thought of his fabulous new girlfriend. A couple of the guys asked him if it was awkward dating someone so young. He said, what do you mean? she’s not so young. She works for Baskin-Robbins. Yes. Yes, she does. She is 16 and scoops ice cream at Baskin-Robbins. He had no idea (or claimed not to). He thought she was in her 20’s working in the Baskin-Robbins office – he’d never actually asked her age – and didn’t realize she’d gone home early because of her curfew. On the way home, we decided he was appropriately immature for her – one of the guys said he’d call and caution him about the legalities of sex with a 16 year-old.

My personal rule was always don’t sleep with anyone you could have given birth to.

When my wife and I met, she was 28 and I was 39. That was 29 years ago. I would have no problem with an age difference like that.

Rick is 7 years older than me, but sometimes it seems like more. He’s stuck in the 50’s and I’m stuck in the 60’s!

No, I wouldn’t have a problem with it, infact, in many instances a younger women, older man is the best match given that many men don’t mature in their ability to be a good relational partner until they are older. There is also the opposite, I know several women who are older than their partners/husbands and that’s fine too.

Once they turn 18 they’re on their own.

My wife is 9 years younger than I and we are celebrating 26 years together. Age is in the mind of the beholder

@Dutchess_III Rick is 7 years older than me, but sometimes it seems like more.
That by many (around here) is not that large of a gap. Even a ten year gap seems tolerable, but to get in the realm of fifteen to twenty years, hackles go up especially if she is under 30. If she is 35 or older some might raise an eyebrow but hardly see it as fodder for scandal.

@BellaB At the 20 – 38 end I’d be a bit concerned initially, regardless of whether my child was the 20 year old or the 38 year old. That seems a bit too big of a power/maturity spread,..]
Because one is just over legal (at least in the some places in the US) and the other far older and thinking there is some unevenness going on, is a false conclusion. If she at 20 had her stuff together, had a good job, or even started a business and doing well with it, plus renting her own apartment or house, and he was 38 years old, never keeps a job, and still living at home with his mother, how or where does he have the greater power or authority in the relationship?

It’s really the maturity & sophistication gap that matters. Chronological age not so much.

Lack of maturity and imbalanced sophistication in relationship skills tend to lead to imbalanced relationships which may tend to be problematic. But I would measure that with my own skills and the skills of the child’s mother and of other very astute observers of relationships I know. If it’s actually a great non-problematic relationship, mathematical age is practically irrelevant.

But if there are problems, then “wishing them well” includes being concerned. Though as adults, it would only be my business to the degree that we’re still related and so on – I would not switch into age-inappropriate “you are my child” domineering nonsense.

My first real girlfriend was 26 with a master’s degree and I was 18 just out of high school about to start college. My parents adored her. We stayed together for about four years.

@Hypocrisy_Central , your response might have been honest if you had not dropped the balance of my sentence which was but the reality of the two individuals could well make sense.

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I’ve been reading other posters commentary on your posting behaviour since I arrived here. Took it with a big grain of salt. My mistake.

This doesn’t answer your question but was wondering whether they were aware of the age gap between them when they fell in love. Some people don’t look their age i.e. look much younger than they actually are. It might be embarrassing when their partner comes to know about real age difference. Was it similar case here?

@imrainmaker – I look very young for my age, always have.

No one was mistaking 19 year old me for a 30 year old.