Do you think sex is "supposed" to be "spontaneous?"?

I think you’re laying out two entirely different scenarios. The answer would be different for each, as you described.

If it’s a new partner and the relationship is new, it makes sense to be deliberate and cautious before you hop in the sack.

If it’s an established relationship, than spontaneity (let’s have a quickie behind the barn) is perfectly OK and a lot of fun.

But I am writing as an old fart who grew up in the 1960s and 1970s.

I think that sexual mores have changed mightily, and it’s not unusual for sex to occur on the first or second date (or encounter) for people under the age of 35 or so. Waiting a month or two for the younger folk is, from what I gather, pretty rare.

I think it’s because the younger cohort looks at sex differently. For them, it seems to be a physical act, not necessarily locked or in synch with emotions. Our generation largely equated love and sex. I don’t think that linkage is there any more.

I don’t think it’s supposed to be anything. It is all personal preference and circumstances.

A generally accepted rule of thumb that many adults go by is: sex on the third date. That’s a far cry from planning out for six months.

But I have known women who have been open to sex first time with a partner in the moment I have known others that waited a long time.

Sex is supposed to be unplanned and spontaneous but if you’re slutty enough to bang someone and don’t have protection and you get knocked up you whore you better not have an abortion because Jesus.

People are fucking idiots. You were with him for ten years?

It’s not exactly supposed to be. And it depends on who you’re talking about. Women like it to be spontaneous, and guys just like it!

Yes, so spontaneous it can often times wind up in the wrong hole, eager beavers miss out.

No, you are supposed to plan every move 4 years ahead of time and submit a notarised application to your village elder.

This had nothing to do with anything other than not getting pregnant. I think the stupidest thing a woman can do is to just let emotions get the better of her when she is vulnerable.

@Seek Yeah, off and on. He wasn’t anywhere near a life partner. He was good looking and fun, and we did a lot together. A lot of sports. We were both teachers. We only saw each other every other weekend, when I didn’t have the kids, who were small at the time.
Later, after their dad moved, he was a little more involved with them, but not much. I just felt the kids were safe with him, although they were rarely alone with him.
It was nothing more than grown up time for me. I needed that, and I wasn’t going to hop around from man to man. I got to be a grown up around him.

“The fact that I planned in advance was “anti-climatic” (ha ha) for him.” There have been times when I’ve enjoyed sex with no climate whatsoever. ;-)

Or in crazy climate! Even more fun. :D

Iceberg sex?

Not so much fun. Neither is sex in the wild grass. Chiggers.

“Or in crazy climate! Even more fun. :D” I’m sure that’s true where you live; is it true that tornadoes give great head?

Trying to imagine that circumstance…..

Whatever works.

@Brian1946 is so worked up by tornado sex that he’s repeating himself!

Spontaneous “sex” is by far the best. I was a Scout so I was always prepared. That said, we did have to “plan” for having our first child and monitored her ovulation and much to my disappointment we hit it out of the park first try. Since then spontaneous is the way to go whether I or she initiates it or I though do like phone flirting or sexting to set the table for when we see each other next is kinda fun too!

We had the same damn plan @Cruiser. Took us 3 years!

With the next we thought we should get started early…took us 3 minutes. SMH.

@Dutchess_III I am jealous

What does SMH stand for?

@ragingloli If that’s from an RPG of some kind, I want to play it.

@Brian1946
Sydney Morning Herald
Smith Motor Homes
VanEck Vectors Semiconductor ETF
Sarasota Memorial Hospital
and….
“shake my head”

Well, if I shaved my legs, and have slacks on, I’d say it’s a clue I might be planning on sex.

Sometimes it’s planned, and sometimes it’s spontaneous. I don’t see the big deal.

When I’m first dating someone I usually decide in advance when I’m going to be willing to finally “go all the way.” It might not happen on the next date, but I usually have made a conscious decision about it. I used to leave it up to the guy to have the condom in that circumstance. Once we were steady (and since the 90’s tested) I would go on the pill.

RPG? Rocket Propelled Grenade???

(I know, Roll Playing Game!)

Throw down and jungle Fk as often as you can and your relationship with the one you love will be Golden…trust me! ;)

I think you can have protection and be spontaneous.

Do the two have to be mutually exclusive?

I wonder if this is not a universal truth. That for the female it is pre-planned but for the male it is spontaneous. Maybe men just don’t think that far ahead and women get too involved in the details.

sorry if I offend those males who plan ahead or those females or decide on a whim.

Sex is supposed to be spontaneous when you are young and horny.

I think it depends on the expectations, or motivations of the two. If I want a relationship with a girl, I like to have sex with her as soon as possible. If we aren’t sexually compatible, I’m wasting both of our time. If I wait 6 months,and then don’t like how things are in the bedroom, then I have to break up with the girl,that I probably developed feelings for.

To many people, that’s a shallow view. People have different priorities.

I assume that if you’ve decided to date a person, you’ve already (subconsciously at least) determined that the person is sexually attractive enough to be a potential mate. But obviously, you want to get to know them,if you want a relationship.

This waiting 6 months, or until you’re married thing is a very unwise way of doing things. Like buying a car without looking under the hood.

If you want to wait on having unprotected sex,that’s a good idea. If you’re a female, it would be wise to do as much research on the partner as possible before a sexual encounter.

It is a little devious I suppose, that you had a “plan” for him. But people are devious when first in a relationship. There’s a reason for the saying “all’s fair in love and war.” The similarities are sad. Two (or more) parties with unknown agendas, and everything hinging on a fragile trust…

Some people have more than one phone, or go to great lengths to deceive each other for their own benefit. From what I’ve heard about my ex,she was a monster. She abused my love,and trust. She took advantage of me at many turns. She permanently damaged my ability to trust women. And the ones I’ve tried since haven’t helped.

Sex isn’t “supposed” to be anything. Spontaneous sex is great. When sex is used to manipulate someone into doing what you want, then you’re a bad person.

We are just animals by the way, trying to take a mate’s DNA. Doing what we’re programed to do…

The most important thing about sex is that it is consentual , and both parties are of lawful age of consent.

With all respect and love, because you know I love you, Dutchess, Please, for science sake, I suggest, no I beg you stop taking your one anecdotal evidence and extrapolating it to all and everyone you think you represent…. Things are more complicated and you don’t help my case when I try to actually quote real tests and actual polls for observation. Sorry…. But I do love you and respect you and your history and experience.

The most scientific thing we can observe as science lovers is that we are a sample of one. I love your sample of one, but for science’s sake…. I will not give it more weight than any other sample of one.

but I do love you… I really do. You are important and your experiences are important and I already lost a good friend here on Fluther because I didn’t make my binocular view clear… so I ask you still be my friend…..and jonsblond, if you are listening….. this same goes for you…. I love and appreciate you and I’m sorry I didn’t explain my science number brain. My human brain loves and appreciates what you have gone through and I didn’t mean to sound insensitive, because I’m not…. I’m sorry you saw me as someone not on your side… because I am… I always will be.

I didn’t apply it to everyone, @cazzie, and I think we got some interesting discussion out of it.
@JLeslie said she usually planned ahead.

@rojo speculated, “I wonder if this is not a universal truth. That for the female it is pre-planned but for the male it is spontaneous. Maybe men just don’t think that far ahead and women get too involved in the details.”

And @MrGrimm888 said, “Is a little devious I suppose, that you had a “plan” for him.”

The entire discussion is interesting. I planned ahead simply because I did not want to get pregnant. That’s all. Nothing deeper. No overthinking there, and certainly nothing “devious” that I can see. “Devious” would be having unprotected sex, hoping you would get pregnant.

@raum, “I think you can have protection and be spontaneous.” Let’s assume the guy doesn’t want to wear a condom. At what point should you find this out? Should it be discussed ahead of time? Wouldn’t that kind of wreck the spontaneity? Or let’s assume that he would wear a condom….but doesn’t have one at the moment, because, you know, it’s happening spontaneously. What other protections are there? None, that I know of, for women, that are dependable, and don’t require some planning ahead.

Well I guess I’m so old and not getting any, I just took this in a different direction than you were wanting. I don’t think this is an answerable question unless you count , ” It depends ” as an answer.

Well, I guess any question can be answered that way. But after the first time, when I was 15, I realized that was really dangerous! I spent 6 months worrying that I was pregnant! Ok, I was 15. And I’m joking. But I really did put myself through hell for the next few weeks.

After that I vowed never to fail to plan ahead. To that end, I made as sure as I could that this person would be someone I would have a long term relationship with, and that took a long time. I just wasn’t into casual sex. It was just too damn dangerous. But that’s just me.

And the question came about because 1) there have a been a couple of sex questions on Fluther, and B) a different question asked us if we were spontaneous or planned ahead. So I kinda put them together.

For me, when I’m in long term relationships I’d say spontaneous usually happens in the middle of the night. Once in a while it’s in an unusual location. Mostly, the sex is predictable. When I was in high school it was after school when we went to my boyfriend’s house. Being married, then it’s usually at night before sleep, but my sex life is rather screwed up from illnesses.

Ideally, what I would want, is for sex to always be a possibility, and be really simple to have a spontaneous quicky. I haven’t had that in years and I find it one of the more depressing things in my life. I literally cry about it sometimes. It feels like prison, a loss of freedom.

Just because you have your own conditions before you’re willing to have sex doesn’t mean the actual event can’t be spontaneous.

If you do have pre-conditions, it could be a considerate thing to do to communicate those to a partner. I imagine there was some sort of conversation there, but if one expected a suitor to wait six months without explaining that there was a six-month waiting period, a suitor could easily get the wrong idea. If someone had conditions and didn’t discuss them, it could also involve a bit of an unspoken power dynamic, which can cause various stresses.

It can of course also be a problematic power play to assume that sex should be a spontaneous eruption. As can many types of assumptions about what is right or best, especially when they aren’t discussed clearly.

@cazzie
Actually, “Depends” is the answer to what kind of underwear do 70 year old men wear, boxers or briefs?

I think the most ideal situation would be to ask ‘Should sex be inevitable and thus prepared for? ’.

I don’t get what you are saying, @rojo . Is that a type of underwear old men like to wear? Why is that funny?

Depends

@Zaku I had to laugh “If you do have pre-conditions, it could be a considerate thing to do to communicate those to a partner.” OK, I have decided that this can be a long term commitment so mark your calendar: The first Saturday after 30 days from today’s date we will have sex!
If one expected a suitor to wait six months without explaining that there was a six-month waiting period, a suitor could easily get the wrong idea.” Get the wrong idea about what? Decided I wasn’t worth it and leave? That’s the whole point in the first place. He has to like me for who I am first.
I also can’t see a beginning point for such a conversation. Is it something I’d bring up on a first date I have with every guy? “Well, I know this is our first date but I will be waiting six months, 2 weeks, and 4 days before I decide whether or not I will have sex with you.” What on earth would that accomplish? What if he’s on his whole best behavior for six months, simply counting down the days and then turns into someone I don’t like?

As far as my boyfriend was concerned, it was spontaneous. I just can’t see what any over burdening him with my thought process would accomplish.

@Dutchess_III – does sex always have to be meaningful?

Can it ever be “let’s do it because it feels good!”.

I never said it had to be meaningful. But as far as just throw caution to the wind and go for it, sure! But, IMO it’s a lot less stressful and worrisome If you’re in a secure relationship and don’t have to worry about pregnancies. When was the last time you woke up going, “Oh, holy shit! What have I done?” and spent the next 2 or 3 weeks in agony? My guess is, “Never.” Unless she brought it up. And you didn’t really like her that much. Then I guess you’d be stressed out, wondering if your life was going to change in a major way.
But, sure. Just do it because it feels good, whenever you want!

OK, I have decided that this can be a long term commitment so mark your calendar: The first Saturday after 30 days from today’s date we will have sex!
I’ve seen this sort of thing said in a joking yet serious way and being understood, taken seriously, accepted, etc.

“If one expected a suitor to wait six months without explaining that there was a six-month waiting period, a suitor could easily get the wrong idea.” Get the wrong idea about what? Decided I wasn’t worth it and leave? That’s the whole point in the first place. He has to like me for who I am first.
Well, unless they have a perfectly compatible random expectation, they might think that a person would never want to have sex with them, didn’t enjoy sex, didn’t like them, or ten thousand other possible interpretations. It seems like you must have said something to give him some kind of clue, but didn’t mention what that was, which brought attention off what I think is one of the most important things, which would be clear communication.

I also can’t see a beginning point for such a conversation. Is it something I’d bring up on a first date I have with every guy? “Well, I know this is our first date but I will be waiting six months, 2 weeks, and 4 days before I decide whether or not I will have sex with you.” What on earth would that accomplish? What if he’s on his whole best behavior for six months, simply counting down the days and then turns into someone I don’t like?
Well that’s a classic type of relationship dilemma that people have written entire novels about the tragic and needless suffering it can cause, when one person runs unexplained tests that get interpreted the wrong way and lead to various needlessly sad outcomes. It can make for heartstring-tugging drama for an audience as well as push the buttons a person needs to feed their own needs for drama. It’s certainly done a lot. But there are far more effective and fair ways to be in a relationship. I imagine you probably did some sort of middle ground that you just haven’t thought to describe for us, that involved some sort of communication.

I think the passion we displayed in our relationship, without actual intercourse, was enough of a clue @Zaku. They could tell I was very interested, but not ready for that big step. But he liked me well enough (in fact, asked me to marry him about three years into the relationship) to just wait and see.

Same with the boyfriend I had in college for 3 years, and with my future husband.

Me thinks you are overthinking this @Zaku. For me, it was a responsibility, a decision that I took seriously. For the men it was just “Yahoo! Let’s have fun!” It usually is.

I think, sex is meant to be inevitable and therefore planned for. You can spend your off time on who is to blame for lack of preparedness. Statistics back me up. It’s science. Blame games aren’t my game.

Inevitable? You mean, throughout your adult life? Of course. But I’m not going to pump birth controls in me when it may be 2 years before I meet someone I want to have sex with. I don’t want an IUD implant for no reason, either.

Nobody is blaming anybody, so I’m not sure where you came up with that. The simple fact is, you can not count on the men to take precautions. Some may, but if it fails or they just don’t it one time, women are the ones who have to deal with the consequences, regardless. Not the men. Statistics back me up. It only makes sense for the women to be as certain as she can be that she won’t become pregnant.

@Dutchess_III The way I would put it (sticking with formal wording) is that you seem to have a communication/relationship style that has worked for you and your partners, which communicated what it needed to even if it avoided using explicit language.

Yes. It was clear there was something promising there. I just needed time to be sure. The only sex I regret was the “spontaneous” kind with someone I didn’t know well. That didn’t happen too many times. I was left feeling cheap and used, and unfulfilled. And worried!
Gosh. How many questions do we get from the young girls here along the lines of, “I really thought he liked me, but after we had sex for the first time he only comes around once every week or two.”

And there you go, ladies and gentleman. She gets to say her peace about what happened to her. Everyone clap while she takes a bow. but I don’t disregard your need to say it or your right, but I just wish it was packaged differently. You should package these things differently.

@Dutchess_III Well that certainly makes sense, and is something different from what I was trying to say.

@Zaku isn’t it, just? But these things need to be worked through. I agree….. I just don’t think this is the place for it. I think she will get much better results if she talks to a professional.

Hey…. I really like Dutchess She is amazing and dynamic and fun and wonderful…. but I think she could benefit from talking to a professional or some really cool insightful friends who meet and drink wine. Or maybe… just a professional.

Come on @cazzie. Knock it off. What is wrong with speaking my peace? Why would you come up with that “everybody clap” business? Everyone speaks their peace at one time or another. Maybe you think I’m being judgemental? If so, I don’t know why you’d think that. If others want to have casual, spontaneous sex, go for it. That just isn’t me. When I smoked marijuana the first time, I decided in advance that I was going to, but I researched it at the library first. I was 14. This question dovetailed with a the nature of a few other questions that were asked in the last couple of days and that’s what prompted it. I don’t know what’s wrong that you feel the need to insult me over nothing.

I hope these poor bastards at least got a hand job in 6 months of wining and dinning….

It’s pretty awful that you would suggest a woman should put out just because the guy took them out. That’s called prostitution. I’ll buy my own shit if I know up front what the payment is supposed to be. But they never do tell you up front. Just throw it in your face later. Talk about devious.

@Dutchess_III Word.

^I was half kidding.

Women routinely call men clueless about men. Which I agree with. But women don’t seem to understand us any better. When a man is in a relationship with a woman, he is usually attracted to her. He desires her ,and wants to be with her sexually. This desire builds his sexual drive. A release is required for any attempt at sanity. Try to see it from a man’s view. All you can think about is sex,all day,every day. You like a girl. You ask her out. You go on multiple /many dates with her. You grow to like her (which you already did,or you wouldn’t have asked her out.) She enchants you. Natural instinct drives you to want to have sex with her,anatomy or physiology requires that you release your sexual energy. At some point, you try to initiate a sexual encounter. But now you’re the scum of the Earth for having these feelings and desires.

Sound fun? Well it’s not. It’s a curse of sorts. And in this PC world, you get nailed to a cross for expressing your natural desires.

Most in this thread have expressed that sex is enjoyable. Doing things that your partner enjoys isn’t prostitution. When I digitally provide release for a girl,I’m not getting anything out of it ,but I enjoy making her feel good. I don’t call her selfish for wanting to have an orgasim…

I know that there are many shitty men out there, but you reveal a closed mind by punishing all men.

I personally have come to the conclusion that women are crazy. But I realize that they,like men, are merely responding to normal hormonal, and chemical processes in their body. In other words, they don’t choose to have random emotional swings,or have pain during PMS, or need attention, and social interaction.

Many of us men could be more tasteful, or tactful in how we attempt to fulfill our desires. But we are just responding to a powerful hormone, testosterone.

Did you know that testosterone is so powerful, that it increases sexual desire in women too. During a kiss,saliva is exchanged. In the man’s saliva he transmits testosterone to the female, increasing her desire for sex. Almost like drugging her. In turn, sex is more likely following a kissing session. (The man also receives hormones from the female, making him more nurturing.) I don’t remember my exact source for this information. But I think the article was titled “The science of kissing,” or something like that.

My point,again,is that there is more at play in regards to the way the two genders act than just them being a good or bad person.

We are all prisoners of our bodies. Slaves to the chemicals that motivate our behavior. Slaves to pain,to nutritional requirements etc.

Being mad at a man for wanting sex,is like being mad at a fish for swimming.

Please come down from your high horse,and realize that none of us have asked for our circumstances.

We’re just animals. Not every man is a prince from a Disney movie. This is reality…

@MrGrimm888 I didn’t read all of your diatribe, because it was too painful. But you realize, don’t you, that we are responding to your implication that a woman owes a man sex for buying her food and drinks? You specifically defined an investment of goods and services with an expectation of eventual sex. Outside of prostitution, this is not okay. I don’t care how deeply you are under the influence of your powerful hormones. Good grief.

Nope. The prostitution part was inference, not implication.

To clarify, I really meant after 6 months of spending time with a girl. I regret my choice of words there “wining and dining. ” I can easily see how that can seen in that way,but it was not my intention.

To further clarify, I respect your opinion, but your approval is not needed…

In addition, having such a strong opinion without reading my entire thought isn’t really fair.

@MrGrimm888 Then, your response should not be to define testosterone for the unknowing. Your response should be to apologize for defining emotional investment in terms of prostitution. It would have been more accurate, less patronizing, and much faster. Thank you for finally clarifying your statement.

But @MrGrimm888 is not at all unusual in his ridiculous and cheap expectations. I learned the hard way not to allow a strange man to buy me a drink. I did, one time. I was 17 or 18. He came over and we talked. It was OK, but I wasn’t particularly interested by the end of the conversation. He asked to buy me another and I politely declined.
He said, “OK! You want to get out of here?”
I was like, “What?”
He said, “You know! let’s go to my place!”
I said, “Noooo. I don’t know you.”
He got pissed, yelled that he had bought me a drink, called me a bitch and threw what was left of his drink on me and stormed away. I was afraid to leave the bar.
I never again accepted a drink from a stranger.

I also had a guy, my dad’s age, stop and help me change a tire, although I didn’t need any help. I told him that, but he insisted.
After it was done he asked me out. I politely declined (he was my dad’s age! Gross.)
He too became angry. He expected payback for his “generosity.” He called me a few choice names and stormed away. It scared me.

And you want to tell us women we have no idea what is driving you. We know. We just don’t know what direction it’s going to come from and how violent it may be. That’s why I never, ever found myself alone with a male I didn’t know well. Even then I was on guard.

My experiences are pretty outrageous and I’m sure you agree. @MrGrimm888. But it’s all the same thing. From where you stand, I guess you think it becomes an acceptable, reasonable expectation after a certain amount of money has been spent on her.

Save some time. Spend that money on a prostitute. She’ll appreciate it.

@MrGrimm888 Can you please stop pontificating as if you speak for all us men….

“We are all prisoners of our bodies. Slaves to the chemicals that motivate our behavior. Slaves to pain,to nutritional requirements etc. Being mad at a man for wanting sex,is like being mad at a fish for swimming.”

Look up the term “Self-control”...women mad at you for wanting sex are pissed you are putting your horny desires over their emotional needs. Any real man that has a clue to a woman’s emotional needs knows that those very needs take priority over succumbing to a males primal sexual urges and your comments telegraphs you are essentially ignorant to what moves the needle with a woman’s sexual desires or even more so that groping and expectations of sexual favors is a huge turn off for a woman. As a modern man you should have full control over your sexual urges and know full well the subtle nuances of what turns on your S/O and those that do are getting some and more on a very regular basis.

@Dutchess_III Word.

I don’t go around groping anyone , demanding sex,or raping ANYONE. I’m sad that apparently I somehow gave that impression.

@Cruiser . I guess you’re right,that I “spoke for all men there.” Sorry. I try to see things from other people’s views often, and was attempting to allow a female into the mind,and motivation of a man. Not a man from “rapeville” which is where @Dutchess_III formed her opinions about men. She is right to be upset about the experiences she shared,and wise not to trust men. Too often though she makes comments that ,to me, make us all rapist ,oppressors. That I don’t agree with.

I was trying to explain why both genders act as they do,because everyone makes it out to be a choice. Some behavior is that black and white, most isn’t…

I, like @Dutchess_III can only go on what I observe. My opinions are formed from my experiences too. I think there’s a double standard at play with her views of women as infallible, innocent, oppressed victims, who would never exhibit sexually inappropriate behavior. And men are oppressive ,evil, pigs.

And I don’t care much for the prostitution defense. By that logic married women with wedding rings are prostitutes.

Some do see dating as an investment. And in a way,it is. You invest time,and money with the hopes of the reward of a relationship with the other person. Part of that relationship is sex. I don’t personally operate under that way of thinking, but is it not logical?

Most couples who don’t have their sexual needs met,are unhappy right? Sex is also,to me,an emotional need. So I don’t see it as simply milking a cow. Both parties have needs,some differ. Am I supposed to be mad at women for not having “self control” by having emotional needs? As I attempted to explain, the two genders have different “needs.” And it shouldn’t be considered bad to express their desire for fulfillment of those needs.

*Why are the different needs more valid when they are the female’s needs?

If my girlfriend wakes me up for sex,because she wants sex, how is that different from my desire?

Has nobody else had a female initiate sex? Surely she was driven hormonally , and by desire for something that feels good,just like the man.

Oh my @MrGrimm888 Your apparent desire to defend your reasoning of your comments defies justification…

“My opinions are formed from my experiences too. I think there’s a double standard at play with her views of women as infallible, innocent, oppressed victims, who would never exhibit sexually inappropriate behavior. And men are oppressive ,evil, pigs.”

I have known @Dutchess_III for a zillion years now and know your words do not reflect her views at all. You have dug a very deep hole….Stop this while you are way behind.

Enlighten me. Answer some of my questions please.

Is it not hypocritical to say a woman’s needs are more important than a man’s?

Why is it offensive to express a desire?

@MrGrimm888 I never said or suggested it offensive to express a desire, I addressed how it is all in the delivery and respect you extend to your S/O. If you cannot reason my answer to your question on your own…you must be young, or single or perpetually unaware. If you were my son I would counsel you….but you are not and not my job to do so.

^I understand that better. I’m clearly offending others,so I’ll drop it. I’m very blunt,but I was only trying to explore the logic behind my perceived double standard. I am pretty young, I guess and have much to learn about women. In a way you did counsel me. Thanks for trying.
Sorry to those I offended.
Peace n love.

I like @Cruiser. Ladies? Do you like @Cruiser? Go away. I saw him first. So, where you from Cruiser? ♥♥

Not all men are like that. Just the more aggressive, offensive ones and they make an impression. If I sound angry it’s because I am. My heart goes out to all of those 12, 13 – 18 year old woman-children, like my granddaughter, who are being blindsided by people like you @MrGrimm888, then being told it’s their own fault. Being shamed if they do, insulted if they don’t. I am amazed if any girl gets to 18 years old without being sexually attacked, even raped during those early clueless, learning years. But you know. Men just can’t help it. Not their fault. She shouldn’t be walking around looking pretty.

All the men I ever entered into a long term relationship with were respectful and willing to wait. They liked being with me. Did they want sex too? Well, doy. But none of them were ever gross about it.

I have had good men in my life. I have a good one now. However, I dragged this one off to bed the first night he came to visit me at my house, in person. It was 4 in the morning and he wouldn’t stop talking! So I just stood up, took his hand and dragged him into the bedroom to shut him up.
Plus I knew I was in love with him, and he with me, the first moment we’d laid eyes on each other 4 years previously. Long story short, he pissed me off early on and I told him to go to hell. I told him 80 million times to go to hell, and he’d go away for awhile, but he never gave up. He just kept coming back! Jesus! Helluva salesman. Persistent and patient. And a good guy. I still tell him to go to hell sometimes, but he never does.

@Dutchess_III He did apologize. I like you too btw ;)

Well, I know that! And I know he apologized. I don’t think he actually understands though. Doesn’t understand why those situations angered me. Not yet anyway. Maybe if he has a daughter that will change.

You guys want to hear a funny story? Last night Rick and I touched briefly on our finances. He said “Where did all that money go?”
I said, “Bills. A hundred bucks on Cox and…”
He spun around in shock and said, ”WHAT???”
I had to pause a moment to get into his head, and I started laughing! I said, “Cable! Internet!”
He said, “Oh. Of course. I was gonna say, ‘But I’m right here! And I’m free!’”
I just rolled!