If my microwave oven is really listening to me, why do I have to push the buttons to turn it on?

Do you think Kellyanne Conway’s microwave listens to her?

No, but she does talk to it.

Because the NSA have better things to do.
If they are using the microwave to spy on people, which I honestly wouldn’t be shocked if they were (especially after all the WikiLeaks stuff) They most likely aren’t going to be able to spy on every American all at once. I don’t think they’d even have that much control over it. Seems stupid.

They’re trying to be nonchalant about it.

Pushing the buttons is an ID check that registers your fingerprints to confirm who is in the kitchen. Try wearing rubber gloves and saying ‘my name is Edward Snowden’.

“I, Edward Snowdon, am going to turn on the microwave”. I, Edward Snowdon, am going to fill the coffee maker”. I, Edward Snowdon, am going to take the toast out of the toaster now and liberally apply butter to it”.

HEY! That works for almost everything!

Thanks @flutherother !

“I, Edward Snowdon, am now going to go find something productive to do with my morning.”.

The result would be NSApocalypse!

If my microwave is listening to me, then I am certainly not going to be chalant about it.

Your microwave listens to you, but it doesn’t really hear you. This happens, at some point, in every long-term relationship. We all know that effective communication takes patience, respect, and courtesy. You really need to have a chat with your microwave, remind it of the magic you once shared, and make sure you’re truly being heard again.

If I were Kellyanne’s microwave, I would neither listen nor hear. I’d be plotting my escape to Craig’s List.

@Love_my_doggie – then you could ‘wave’ it good bye

What? All these lonely days, and I coulda been hangin with my burrito heater??!?!?!!!?!

@Patty_Melt, “Burrito heater”! For some reason that sounds vaguely obscene, and somewhat enticing

Actually, there you go.
You don’t have to push any buttons. If you want to turn on your microwave, just talk slutty to it.