General Question
Has anyone overcome overwhelming anxieties and fears due to life circumstances ?
My fears and anxieties are not unwarranted but I cannot seem to get a grip on them. My problems are only small to moderate compared to others’ problems but still seem insurmountable. As I’ve mentioned before on Fluther, I have extreme difficulties with procrastination. This, of course, is not willful. I do have a disability in this area, but have worked a few all-right jobs before in spite of this.
When I was younger, things didn’t bother me so much, perhaps because I didn’t have such overwhelming financial obligations, and because I was younger, there was hope in the future. Now the future is a source of anxiety.
Here are some things that really paralyze me right now:
—I am 52 years old and pretty much had to start life over after being shot in a robbery five years ago. The thing is, this time I didn’t bounce back. Not out of fear, but lack of finances.
—I became dependent on my parents and have been living on disability for almost two years. I need to be working again but haven’t found anything that pays a living wage. I still have limited abilities which prohibits many of the manual jobs others have relied on.
—I rescued someone from my past from homelessness and still have feelings of anxiety from the times she was homeless and I couldn’t do much to help. Several people pretending to help her have robbed her or taken advantage of her. She wants to get her stuff back but the law just doesn’t seem to really deliver
—My parents don’t like my girlfriend or want to meet her. I am spending most of my money and hers to support her in an apartment. My parents have grown dependent on me for assistance around the house and for transportation.
—My mother is severely crippled from a brain tumor and my father has advanced Parkinsons disease and Bursitis. I feel as if I cannot give him all the time and assistance he needs. He doesn’t seem to have any life left in him.
—I have no financial security whatsoever. I have my parents to fall back on now, but when they’re gone, then nothing.
—The bills seem insurmountable. Services lost really will cause what’s left of life to fall apart. I cannot afford food, rent, meds and bills.
—I have hording issues which I’ve written about in another thread.
—I tend to live in the distant past, but even that has unresolved pain. Nothing like the present.
—I have even had a moderate brush with the law lately. This would shock most people who know me. There will be consequences, but I was actually working for my own survival.
—My own health—well, I’ve basically lived right but I have insulin-resistant diabetes that isn’t getting any better, chronic nerve pain from the gunshot, high blood pressure, am developing heart problems, and have pretty severe ostoperosis.
Yes, I am going to a therapist and I DO believe in counseling and therapy. My Social Security Disability does cover it. But forty minutes to an hour every few weeks doesn’t get one very far. I’m sure others on Fluther have lost everything or suffered major losses—and I am about to loose everything. Or at least a significant portion thereof. Nights and mornings are sheer hell. My feelings even haunt my dreams and that’s the worst of all.
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