Will yeh be showin' yurrrrr green, now?

English, please.

Éirinn go Brách!

@ragingloli Don’t you know? The Irish aren’t exactly fans of the English.

I have to work tonight. But if I were off, I would be doing Irish Car Bombs by 1, or 2PM. The rest of the night is usually a sort of a blur. I wake up with lots of green beeds on my neck, and green stains on my mouth and shirt from green beer. Usually my bowel movements are green for a couple of days, to keep me in the spirit…

If you’re off tonight, have a shot of Irish whiskey (I recommend Jameson,) and drink a green beer for me.

I’m not sure there is a more racist holliday, but I love it…

aye.

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.”

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?”, asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.

The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, “If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?”

The Irishman replies, “Oh…I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first”.

Another of my favorite Irish jokes:

Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up. He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it’s a law of nature of the universe that buttered toast always falls butter-down.

So he rushes round to the presbytery to fetch Father Flanagan. He tells the priest that a miracle has occurred in his kitchen. But he won’t say what it is, so he asks Fr. Flanagan to come and see it with his own eyes.

He leads Fr.Flanagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor. “Well,” says the priest, “it’s pretty obvious. Someone has dropped some buttered toast on the floor and then, for some reason, they flipped it over so that the butter was on top.”

“No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that!” exclaimed Murphy. “Oh my Lord,” says Farther Flanagan, “dropped toast never falls with the butter side up. ….It’s a mir….Wait… it’s not for me to say it’s a miracle. I’ll have to report this matter to the Bishop and he’ll have to deal with it. He’ll send some people round; to interview you, take photos and a statement etc.”

A thorough investigation is conducted, not only by the archdiocese but by scientists sent over from the Curia in Rome Italy . No expense is spared. There is great excitement in the town as everyone knows that a miracle will bring in much need tourism revenue.

Then, after 8 long weeks and with great fanfare, the Bishop announces the final ruling. “It is certain that some kind of an extraordinary event took place in Murphy’s kitchen, (quite outside the natural laws of the universe). Yet the Holy See must be very cautious before ruling it a miracle. All other explanations must be ruled out.

Unfortunately, in this case, it has been declared ‘No Miracle’ because they think that Murphy may have buttered the toast on the wrong side!

The shamrocks are in me green eyes this mahrnin.’

A Scotsman, an Englishman, and an Irishman come across a magic lamp and are each granted one wish by the genie inside. The Scotsman says, “I am a fisherman, my father is a fisherman, his father was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity.” And suddenly, the seas are teaming with fish. The Englishman says, “I want a wall around England to protect her for all eternity.” And again, there was suddenly a wall around England, guarding it. Then the Irishman says to the genie, “Tell me about this wall.” The genie explains, “well, it’s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, and nothing can get in or out.” So the Irishman says, “Fill it up with water.”

@SavoirFaire That song you posted was cool.

I also love how that language sounds.

Cool songs.
Excellent jokes.
Who has more to add?

I have a green swallowtail butterfly in my avatar.

The Corrs with Bono covering When the Stars Go Blue, live in Dublin.

Don’t really feel like kicking up my heals.

Last week I found out that I’m Irish in name only. DMA analysis indicates that I’m 86% German, 10% American Indian and 4% Asian. Bummer!

My name can be traced back to Ireland. Looks like something went wrong along the way. HA!

Those are sometimes wrong.

Toby Shoor will be, bloke loves Shrek

Being of English ancestry I have a natural, ingrained arrogant distain for all things Irish, so I do nothing whatsoever for St. Patrick’s day.

hope you had a great st partricks day :)

Me mother’s family came from Cork County, Ireland, and entered the US through Los Angeles in about 1880. Me father’s side, and that be the side I be proudest of, came from southern Scotland in about 1670, settling in Virginia. (The mixin’ of the two bloods must be what makes us fight so…)

Psssst, @kritiper, stear clear of @Darth_Algar. He’s again’ all yer peeps.

@Patty_Melt Thanks for the tip.

An Irishman, Paddy, calls his wife one afternoon and says:

“Dierdre, everyting is alright but I’m at the ‘ospital. I ‘ad an accident at work and cut off me finger”.

“Jesus, Joseph and Mary!” exclaims Diedre. “The whole finger?”

“Naw, naw” says Paddy. “Da one next to it”.

eyeroll