Is this normal? Another infidelity/break up question.

You won’‘t move beyond her if you stoop to her level.

Your revenge scenario, while understandable, means she is still taking a central spot in your thinking.

Forget about her, get past it by cutting off connection to her as much as possible.

It wouldn’t hurt her. She would enjoy the power of knowing what she MADE you do.

Wow, that must have sucked being with all that nastiness! Congratulations on getting that person out of your space!

Don’t make the mistake of normalizing and feeling in any way inferior to her craziness.

I can’t help but feel like before I go maybe I should with as much enthusiasm and effort as possible try to hook up with someone she knows like a girlfriend or aquaintance or just someone within her circle of friends on Facebook so it will get around.
Just to say “How does that feel?”
No! Don’t do that. That is just looking for trouble, and will tend to lead to more crazy. Fantasize about it. Scream about it. Express anger in other ways, without taking it out on a victim or engaging with her at all – scream in the woods. Throw magazines at walls. Hit a punching bag or something. Talk to a counselor about it. Don’t do it. Certainly not for that reason. Disengage from the crazy.

Your desire for revenge is completely normal.

However, you should not do it. It is a normal result of anger and pain. You are angry at being mistreated during your marriage, and you are hurt because of the mistreatment. Your desire for revenge is an attempt to heal the anger and pain, but it will not work. You will still have the anger and pain inside.

Instead of trying to “get even” with your ex, I suggest you look for a way to heal yourself. When you heal, you will truly put that marriage behind you, and you will move into the future free and unencumbered. I bet you’d rather have that outcome.

I healed a great deal of pain through psychotherapy. I highly recommend it. If you can, find a good psychologist you feel comfortable with, and tell them the situation and how you feel about it. They won’t tell you what to do. Instead, they will guide you through your own thoughts so you can decide on your own solution.

Best of luck to you.

After this all passes, you will feel horrible that you lowered yourself to that level. I’ve read most of your questions and you seem like a very nice, caring person. Be true to yourself and respect yourself first and foremost.

Aww…thanks guys.
Fluther really does have the most insightful, honest people that I’ve encountered online.
Thanks again for the support. : )

If you ultimately would like to have a new relationship with a decent woman, don’t do that.

A decent, nice woman would be apalled to hear that you were a vindictive person.

It’s one thing to think, in your mind, that your ex-wife deserves to feel the same type of pain that you do, but it is a whole other thing for you to be the perpetrator of that pain. It would make you a shitty person, kind of like her.

If she ends up getting her heart broken by somebody else (without your help) so be it. And it’s OK for you not to feel bad about. If you were the one to cause, or help bring about her pain, you would suck.

@Kardamom Thanks, I think you’re right and I don’t like to hurt anyone either even if they hurt me.
Just today she texted me and we got into an argument and I told her that she works too much and should look after her son more so I can work more and not be so broke, anyway it escalated and I ended up telling her “If you don’t want to fight about this then leave me the fuck alone!”
Anyway, my son was at her house and he told me that she was sad and had tears running down after texting me.
My ex has done horrible things to me in the past to the point where I almost wanted to kill myself, but the minute I heard that she was crying I felt terrible and texted her to apologize for hurting her feelings.
I feel better for apologizing even if she doesn’t care so I would probably end up feeling bad if I hooked up with someone close to her and caused drama.
I need to take the high road,
Thanks.

Dude, you need to stop obsessing.