What are some of the worst, or just plain stupid, things have any of your exes said about you?
When we were going through the breakup of our marriage I came across a list of my sins that he’d written down. Not sure what he planned to do with it except prove me unfit as a mother. Here is what I remember from that list:
“She has a gallon of whiskey that she carries around with her.” I asked him about that gallon of whiskey. He indicated a person holding a jug of whisky over their shoulder, finger in the finger hold, like a moonshiner! Okaaay. Except I didn’t drink that much, and the most I ever had on the rare occasions I did have liquor at the house was a pint of rum.
The house always smells like feces and urine. I had a daycare. An exceptionally clean daycare.
She sleeps in late every Saturday and the kids have to take care of themselves. . 9 a.m. ain’t no 5:30, which is when I got up during the weeks but, you know. I should be arrested for child neglect. The kids were 6, 8, and 12 at the time. Old enough to get their own cereal and turn on the TV!
And my #1 favorite was She’s always gone playing volley ball! She plays 3 times a week and leaves the kids alone. Sung to the tune of “always at the bar.” I left them with him. One of the games I played during the week was at a park. I always took the kids with me to that one.
Kind of wish we had gone to court so I could see the judge’s reaction to his accusations!
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I recommend psychotherapy to move past these old grudges.
Why do you assume that simply because people remember things they have a grudge,or that it’s somehow affecting their current life, @Hawaii_Jake? I’m not holding a grudge! It didn’t even make me upset at the time. I thought it was ridiculous, and pathetically funny in a way. Like I said, I wish we’d gone to court so he could present it to a judge. I would have loved to have seen his reaction! So, simply because I remember it, I need psychotherapy?
Perhaps you need to get more counseling to find out why you think everyone else around you has deep rooted problems when there is 0 evidence of it.
He was angry because you never took him to volleyball with you. How could you exclude him like that? Bad wife!
LOL! He didn’t want to play volley ball! He hated it when I was better at sports than he was, and he didn’t know jack about volleyball. Besides, we were separated.
That doesn’t matter. Where I come from, you always have to take you husband to volleyball. That is a way to show affection.
I was called a pig in university by my ex.
My exes left whimpering and pouting.
LOL! I dated an elementary PE teacher for a long time after my divorce. He was amazing on the the basketball court. He was a good athlete. He thought he knew how to play volleyball because it was one of the things he taught AND he was an athlete. I finally talked him into joining a league with me. He quickly found out he did NOT know how to play regulation volleyball!
“Give me back that dress & those heels”
Never gonna happen…
And I maintain, @ARE_you_kidding_me, that it is irrational to assume a person has deep seated grudge issues because a person has a memory of something, and they need psychotherapy because they remember it.
I remember the first time I met my little sister. I was 3. She was a new born. They had just brought her home. My dad picked me up so I could look in the bassinet. I remember thinking, “It’s a baby. What is the big deal?!” So, do I need psychotherapy because I have that memory?
I remember the last time I walked out of my high school after graduation. It was poignant. Do I need psychotherapy for it?
I remember the time I dumped bong water on myself, and peed on my overall strap, all in the same night, 100 miles from from my college dorm without a change of clothes…..yeah. Maybe I could use psychotherapy for that one! :D Found a way to get guys to quit hitting on me, for one night, anyway! LOL!
But seriously…if a person remembers something they need psychotherapy? Or is it only if they remember negative things? Why not psychotherapy for the positive memories?
Umm…My ex said that I hate her family.
I actually liked them more than I liked her at times.
I just blamed her sister when my ex would stay out drinking and partying all night with her sister while I was working and she’d get home at the same time as me in the morning and hop into bed with me and say things like “If anyone says anything about me it’s not true.” (Probably was cheating way back then too and that’s kinda why I hate her).
In reality she made her own decisions.
She said I was a deadbeat dad which was complete bullshit!!
She said she loved me which is a stretch considering all the shit she did to me.
Anyway, we were miserable together at times and I got fed up with her to the point that I wasn’t nice to live with anymore either.
We fought about everything.
I did love her, I guess?
Or I just didn’t want to give up? I wanted her to be as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside and she wanted me to make more money, dress better, get a better job and travel more.
After she cheated it ruined any chance for us to evolve and possibly make each other happy.
I guess? Stay tuned, LoL.
I don’t really remember any, but I have to agree with @Hawaii_Jake here. It’s not just that you remember, all these years later, but that you have your defense ready with each example that indicates you haven’t really moved on.
Not to mention your extreme defensiveness in your last post.
It’s ridiculous that anyone would think that it is odd that I remember something 25 years after it happened. Is there a time limit for remembering something, and if you remember it beyond that you need help?
I have memories of events in relationships before him that are painful, going back to middle school. Do I need help because I remember them? I remember good times too.
Do I need help because I can remember things, good and bad, from my childhood?
You three Jellies are just as ridiculous as my ex with his ridiculous list was!
@Dutchess_III, did you bother to actually read my post? It’s not the remembering itself that’s the point here. It’s your adamant defense, to us, in your details, and your defensiveness now that we are responding to. geez
OK. Here is what you three have accomplished, beginning with the first post. Anyone who might have been interested in responding took one look and said, “Hell no! I’m not touching that question!” You yourselves can’t even contribute to the post in any meaningful way because then you’ll look like fools for remembering something that happened 10,20,30 years.
So the three of you can go huddle in a corner, in this dead post, and confer professionally among yourselves over when a memory requires someone to undergo “psychotherapy” to over come, or when a memory is just a memory and nothing more.
Have fun.
@Dutchess_III, have you ever known @Hawaii_Jake to be snarky, mean or on the attack? And he’s a mental health professional. Ignore me, and @ARE_you_kidding_me, fine. But consider the source of the first comment, probably said with concern.
You derailed your own thread with your vehement defensiveness.
Perhaps because of his profession he tends to see deep seated “issues” in mundane things, that aren’t there. Kind of like a recovering alcoholic whose been through AA. They tend to see an alcoholic under every rock. Perhaps he has unresolved issue from a prior relationship that he needed psychotherapy to get over, so he assumes everyone does.
I don’t hold a grudge against my ex, except for him making the decision to abandon the kids to move 2000 miles away and drop out of their lives when they were little, but there is nothing I can do about it. They have to wrestle with that, not me. For myself I didn’t care that he moved. I don’t have anything to “get over.”
The list business was nothing. I was simply bemused at the time. It was a starting point for a discussion, nothing more.
BTW, I’ve known Shell Answer Man quite a bit longer than you have. In fact, I’m the reason he’s here. He’ll know what I mean when I say, ♪ “If I could save horse in a bottle..”♫ :D
I have more important things to argue about on here than imaginary problems so ta ta.
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