Why are girls so mean to me?

Can you explain how they mess with you? It would help to come up with answers if we knew a bit more.

Probably because you’re the nice guy that always treats women right.

Seriously, if every girl ever gets mean to you it’s not them that are the problem.

Please

I beg you

Take a walk and clear your mind a bit.

Trust me, we’re not being mean. We simply tend to run away from guys that write “I’m really lonely because I haven’t had a girl in months” on their profile page.

Because they are too young to understand that they are hurting you. Most of the grief will disappear when you are older.

Relations between boys and girls at your age is a mystery. Good news: the mystery is never solved.

Do you think they are messing with your mood on purpose? Are they even aware that they’re messing with your mood? Do your moods depend on the people around you? Does everyone have to walk on eggshells so they don’t mess up your mood?

If it is your perception that “all the girls mess with you, all the pretty girls mess with you, or all the girls you like mess with you, heed the advice from @Sneki95 and recognize that the girls are almost certainly not the problem.

I could have answered differently if you were a functional person, but you claimed in your profile that you have severe depression and have a split personality. I’m not trying to be mean but have my reason to doubt your reality.

Seriously, get some help. Go see a supportive therapist before thinking of anything else. Your depression and split personality are most likely bending your perception of reality. And depression can tell you lots of lies that you are willing to believe.

Get some help, and do it fast.

Girls can’t help messing with the mood of guys even when they are unaware they are doing it. It’s just life. But this second personality you talk about might be a problem.

Need more details. And just what do you mean by second personality?

@LostInParadise Go to his profile. He says that he has a split personality. Probably a case of multiple personalities disorder.

But I have to give the OP the benefit of the doubt… could his “depression” simply be his frustration at girls and being unpopular? And could his split personality simply be two conflicting sides of his own personality, which lots of people also have? He is only 18, I wouldn’t say he is emotionally mature enough and has good knowledge of depression and multiple personalities disorder.

…...Not making me feel any better. Not helping.

@Zachary_Mendes123

I can see how some of the comments after @chyna‘s are hurtful.

We could be more helpful, if you would answer her question asking how these girls are being mean to you.

@Brian1946 those comments just kind of pissed me off.

@Zachary_Mendes123 I’m not making you feel better with pats in the back telling you that you will be okay. I’m trying to figure out what is wrong with you.

It sounds like you are either dealing with your depression, or are just very frustrated at being unpopular at school and you still have a lot of hormone to settle down (which to me is more likely according to my knowledge of depression and multiple personality disorder and how you portrait yourself here). Like I say before, seek some help. We can’t decide what is truly wrong with you just through reading comments here. Only someone in real life can give you the help you need.

And the most important thing is, you have to have the will to change your situation. We are not here to sugar coat you with things like “you are a smart and kind person. You deserve better. Those girls are bitches and I agree” which you seem to be actually looking for because we don’t know you enough. We are here to help you change your situation. And to help you, we need your cooperation. You can start with providing us more information about how you think the girls are messing with you and how you feel about your depression.

We’re not here to help you feel better. If you ask for that, go to yt and watch baby sloths getting a bath.

We’re here to help you fix your problem.

If you want your problem to be fixed, you need to prepare for a possibility that you are, in fact, a problem, and then solve yourself.

I ain’t an expert on relationships, but I know this much; with that kind of self pitying attitude, you ain’t gonna get the girl anytime soon. Try getting some backbone, keep your head up, and maybe some girls will have a reason to respect, and possibly even like you.

You are your actions. Blaming poor behaviour on a ‘second personality ’ is s copout.

…with that kind of self pitying, you ain’t gonna get the girl anytime soon.

Err… apparently he just came back to change his profile info. He wallows in self-pity again and accuses us of not helping him.

@Zachary_Mendes123 Stop this self-pity fest! It is counter-productive! I know that you are dealing with some problem and you need help, but this is not how problem-solving works. Like I said before, you need to cooperate with us and answer our questions. Problem-solving requires information and we need information from you to decide the best advice for you. Many jellies have posted some good questions but you have not answered any.

A stroke on the head, a pat on the back and a soft whisper saying how great you are don’t qualify as “help”. They only give you a false temporary sense of happiness, but after that, nothing happens and you are once again stuck in the mess.

Let’s stop thinking about everything for a while. Stop thinking about girls, popularity, depression, your second personality. Now ask yourself this honestly: do you really want help?

Men raised with the idea that women are only here to stroke their egos and other parts need to get WOKE!

The op needs to work out why he cares so much about the way he thinks women perceive him.

@Zachary_Mendes123 , I apologize for the rudeness of some of the people here. They are usually better than this. We still need more details. Are these girls in your school? How do they show their meanness? There are ways of dealing with such people, but I need more information before I can suggest anything.

Yes, if you could give us an example it would help.

@LostInParadise & @DutchessIII
It’s all the dumb popular girls at my collage. They spread bad roomers about me and they try to trip me and they try to mess with my mood. The messing with my mood part is the worst of it because it makes me kind of be rude to my professors.

How exactly do they mess with your mood? Do they say something that hit your hurt spot? Can you be more specific?

What rumors do they spread? How do you know?
And do they literally try to trip you? That’s usually a juvenile thing that boys do to girls in middle school to get their attention and prove their dominance. I’ve never known a female to trip a male. It could be dangerous.
How do they mess with your mood? How do they make you feel? Unhappy, frustrated, horny, sad, angry, happy, joyful?

Try a little verbal judo on them, something like this. Oh you think you are so cool for picking on me. Pick on the guy who is feeling down. Spread false rumors about him. Is that what you think is fun? I think it is pathetic. Even with all the problems I have been having, I think you are worse off than I am.

Don’t be afraid to look at them in their faces. Once you tell them how you feel, you can just shake your head and go past them.

I just wish I knew exactly what he’s talking about @LostInParadise.

They often say that I’ve been to jail behind my back. (not true!!!) Yeah I’m sure that they try to trip me @Dutchess_III & @Mimishu1995 they say things that usually make me upset in the way that I want to cry or like run away from the situation.

Like what kind of things do they say? Can we get a specific example? If all of this is a rumor that you’ve been to jail, who cares? You should be able to just ignore that.

I was bullied as a kid. You just have to not care what they say.

Maybe the girls are mean to you because you’re pouring ice water on their heads.

@jca I never EVER do it to girls

If you haven’t been to jail (which seems a ridiculous and obvious lie given your age) why would you worry if some idiots are saying such a stupid lie ?

^ You never got upset when some dwankie spreads likes about you?

Nope. I was a good girl and a good student. I could not care less what some little ass wipe said about me.

I was at school to get an education. Not be popular with vacant airheads. I concentrated on my education.

they say things that usually make me upset in the way that I want to cry or like run away from the situation.

Like what? Is you going to jail all they tell you? You are either hiding something or make a mountain out of a molehill.

And why are you so sure they trip you on purpose?

Let me tell you something: you are only 18. This seems like a growup age but in reality it isn’t. Kids your age often have some sort of angst from having to stay in stressful high school environment and because their emotion is developing. They make up stupid shit that looks like the end of the world, but a mature person can see through them. Their problems are just big in their own head since they haven’t been exposed much to the world.

And you don’t sound like you understand split personality. A person with multiple personality disorder isn’t aware of their split personality. They don’t even know when their split personality comes out or if they even come out at all. Each time they change into a new personality, they lose memory of the other personality, like they just pass out and wake up from a coma. They may see the split personality, but in a form of a person, not a personality. This contradicts everything you say about your split personality: you are fully aware of it, you know when it will come out, and you know what it does when it surfaces. What you are experiencing sounds more like two conflicting sides of your personality. Humans are complex and having conflicting personalites is just normal.

Now you really need to decide whether you are having depression or the usual teenage angst. A truly depressed person isn’t motivated do do anything and everything. Everything they see is negative and every aspect of their life is horrible to them. Some are not even willing to talk about their condition. Your angst seem to focus on more narrow things like not being popular and girls being mean, and you still have enough will to play pranks on your friends.

I’m not dumping down your problem. It’s just that you are very young and inexperienced, therefore everything you see seems bigger than it really is. I just want you to have a more objective look at yourself.

@Mimishu1995 “Kids your age”. You’re only three years older. :)

@Mimishu1995 wait what?

@Sneki95 OK. I officially feel old :D

@Zachary_Mendes123 Come on, you are 18. You are young but not that young to read.
TL;DR: you need to think again whether you really have depression and split personality disorder because your description of your conditions do not match either of those disorders. And stop thinking that everyone thinks you are lying because no one does. We rather let you know the harsh truth that you may be exaggerating your problems than let you believe that you are stuck in “depression” and your “second personality”.

@Mimishu1995 this conversation is over. c ya

<sigh> OK. I’m out too. You are only here for virtual stroke on the head. You don’t want real help at all. I’m not good at fake flatter so goodbye.

@Mimishu1995 is correct. Hey, you don’t need to get all mad, @Zachary_Mendes123
I think that this split personality is you when you are anxious or feeling emotions that you can’t really name or understand. You say that when these girls make fun of you, it brings out your second personality. That second personality I feel is just a mix of emotions that you don’t understand, such as hurt, anger, sadness, confusion. You’d feel hurt and angry because they are making fun of you, sad because bullying doesn’t make anyone feel good, and confusion because you don’t know why they are doing it to you (I’m not saying that is what you feel for sure, just an example) if you are feeling this all at once, it probably feels very overwhelming. I’m not a professional psychologist, I’ve taken some AP classes and that’s about it. In one of my classes we did a unit on Multiple personality disorder, and what you are listing as symptoms was never taught to me in the class, and our teacher had a doctorate. It is true that those who suffer from Multiple personalities don’t know about their other personalities, like you say you are aware of. I really think you should see a doctor to get diagnosed professionally if you are concerned about having this disorder. You are getting kind of snippy at people here, the details you are providing make it hard to understand. If there is something worse happening, we don’t know because you aren’t saying. To others, the rumor doesn’t seem that big of a deal. To you it obviously is, what people are trying to explain, from what I understand, is that you are going through a phase, (teenage years) and things appear to seem more of a big deal that what they really are.
Not ALL girls hate you. I’m not going to say what you told me in private, because I don’t know if you want others to know. But if what you say is true, then that could be why those paticular group of girls are bothering you. I would suggest you take some time to clear your head. Take a small break from school if possible (spring break should be coming up if it hasn’t already), mediate, do some yoga, etc. Relax. Things are confusing and stressful as a teenager, I know because I am one. Everyone who has answered has also gone through the teens. It is a very hard and confusing time. Lots of changes with your body, discovering who you are. There is a lot. You will live through it. Every adult has.

I know it isn’t what you want to hear but @Mimishu1995 has some really good points. When you actually have a split personality you don’t know it. If each emotion I have means a different personality, then I have about 80 different personalities!

@Dutchess_III I only have 2

Alright, You just messaged me saying that you don’t think you have it anymore because people keep telling you that what you are saying you have is different than split personalities. You said you haven’t been diagnosed. You can’t self- diagnose yourself with a mental illness you hardly know anything about, and then get sad/upset and complain when no one believes you.
Go to a doctor and tell them what is going on with you. They can help you.

@SergeantQueen I gave up on this website.

It doesn’t matter how many you have. The fact that you can name them means you don’t have a split personality. Just getting angry doesn’t mean a different personality has taken over.

@Dutchess_III see, this is why I’ve given up. I’m not talking to you anymore.

Do you actually want help or not? Everyone here is trying to understand what you are saying. We are trying to explain to you what is really happening with you. Stop getting mad at people for telling the truth. You can’t ask a question and then get mad at every answer because it isn’t what you want to hear.
I don’t know what type of answer you are looking for. Obviously, no one does.
You don’t have split personalities. You are feeling emotions that you are not used to feeling when these girls spread things about you. That’s why it feels like another personality. My behavior changes when I am really angry at someone or when I am feeling certain emotions. People act different when they are angry then they do when they are happy. Doesn’t mean everyone has split personalities, it means we are all human.

@SergeantQueen I do want help it’s just, I don’t know what to do. I Gotta go. Might be back later.

Talk to a doctor.

What IS it you wanted us to say?

Have you heard or read anything anywhere countering the advice given you here? YOU KNOW full well that your problems are specific to you and that the minute those problems slant toward affecting others than yourself, you will certainly receive professional attention whether you wish it or not. There is the distinct probability that those lavishing these upcoming “treatments” will be from professions least apt to assist in remedying your torments and decidedly bent toward aggravating your anxiety through the forceful restriction of your freedom and liberties. Get help and get yourself on the record of requiring help before you draw the attention of society’s harsh antibiotics.

I respectfully disagree. Everyone is entitled to be treated with proper respect. If that is not the case for someone then we can help examine what is wrong. The person may lack basic coping skills or be in a hostile environment or have a health problem. We may not have a magic bullet for solving the problem, but we may be able to point the person in the right direction.

It’s hard, though, when the person won’t clarify things when asked, like, “In what way do they ‘mess with your mood? ’ We need some adjectives,” and there is no response.

All I can extrapolate from that is that he believes other people are in control of his moods, not himself.

@Dutchess_III Teenagers brains work differently than a fully developed adults. This isn’t a criticism, it is just the truth. Teens often lack the ability to put their feelings into words. They also feel things more strongly and have difficulty planning or imagining a future. Their executive function hasn’t fully developed. Suicide is the 2nd most common reason for death in teens. This is why.

The biggest thing you can say to a teen (and I didn’t know this guy was so young when I first responded to him) is that they are not wrong for feeling how they feel. How a person feels is how they feel and it’s their truth. From there, we just need to gently get them to talk. It’s not going to happen over the internet, most likely. I think this young man needs to talk to some adults in his life and get some help, not random strangers on the internet.

I know that Cazzi! I was a teen, had 3 teens of own, and of my 10 grandkids, 3 of them are teenagers.
I didn’t say what he was feeling was right or wrong. I learned that way back in the 70’s. Something else I learned then, as a teenager, is that it’s also important that people learn to take responsibility for their own emotions. No one can “make you mad,” anymore than anyone can “make you happy.” You may feel mad, or glad, and that is neither right nor wrong, it’s just how you feel. But no one else is responsible for how you feel. They can empathize, sympathies, lend an ear, but no one can consciously change how you feel.

As for talking to random strangers on the internet,again, that is his decision. I agree that to get real help it needs to be thoughtful and deliberate and find help IRL. Just throwing stuff out on the internet for hundreds of strangers to field isn’t going to help him.

So what I’m saying is, I agree with you.

Could it be, perhaps, only your perception that the “girls” are mean to you? Most people do not really give a crap about you or your concerns; only their own. If they do not respond positively to your advances then perhaps it is just your interpretation that they are mean because their response was negative.

Many men take a “no,” personally. If they ask you to dance, or out on a date, and a girl says, “No, thanks,” the girls run the risk of the guy becoming outraged. Is that what you’re referring to @Zachary_Mendes123? Girls just declining your advances?

@Dutchess_III I think he is talking about being teased or his perception of being teased. I think he’s a little different and kids are cruel to anyone different. I don’t think this young man has the confidence to talk much to girls, much less ‘make advances’.

I’m more concerned about the possibility that he’s imaging slights where there are none.

It sounds like he’s being picked on a bit, but he doesn’t seem to know how to handle it. I’m guessing there might be a spectrum disorder, but he’s seeing a counsellor now, so that’s good. He disassociates himself when he is in ‘a bad mood’. My son used to do that as well. He would deny it was him that broke something or kicked or swore when mad. Thank goodness for adrenaline uptake inhibitors to correct some of the connection problems in his beautiful, otherwise brilliant, brain.

My husband refuses to remember some of the super shitty things he’s done in the past.

Yes, @Dutchess_III I’ve seen that too. In fact, you can have two different people have the exact same experience, yet give two completely different stories of that event. It’s crazy! This is made worse if your grasp on reality is already tenuous.

I thought girls were mean to me for a really long time until one day I realized it was all my fault. my behavior, manner of speech, and everything else was so provocative… I deserved the way girls treated me.

@balatutamattso I just often have panic attacks and when that happends, girls start to be a bit rude to me.

Then maybe join a support group, and try making friends there.

I’d say isolate yourself when you have panic attacks.

@Dutchess_III Yeah.