Do we ever heal completely from loss/grief? And if not what would be left behind?

Of course we usually heal. It’s the scars that vary depending on the severity of the wound and more importantly, the emotional fortifications of the individual affected. The dependable answer to this question is that life goes on, and the business of living erodes the severity of one’s disability with the passage of time. Most of us “get better”. A few of us develop a noticeable limp, and a very few wind up severely and permanently disabled. If you are 2 years down the road and still limping, it might be a good idea to extend the physical analogy, and seek out therapy.

That type of loss changes a person. You just have to decide in what way. There is good news and there is bad news. The good news, is, it’s only up to you to decide. The bad news is, it’s only up to you to decide.

I’ve found the grief from big blows does change you forever but after a time, joy returns. There are times when memories or the pain hits you hard still but it is less frequent and less debilitating. And for what it’s worth, I don’t think two years is an inordinate amount of time to still be grieving such a loss. If it is incapacitating, you might want to seek grief counseling or therapy if you haven’t already. I’m really sorry you are going through this.

One doesn’t “heal”; healing would imply never recalling your brother. But you can get better.

How you recover is an individual process. There comes a point in time for many people where the memory is less frequent and less painful. And there is often the point of realizing that some questions will never be answered,

I had a dear friend who committed suicide a year ago. I miss him often, but it is better than it was. Now when I think of him, I think of his laughter and the adventures we had that made us smile.

@Vanzelouiz Many years ago my younger brother committed suicide. He was in his 30s and had had a problem with depression and was alcoholic. Not a good combination. My heart is sad for you. It is a terrible blow. Slowly I healed from the loss. Life became good again. Somehow we pick up the pieces and carry on. God Bless.

You learn to cope. There will always be a scar upon your heart from the loss but life, your life, does not end There are others there to help with the healing process and you are in turn there to assist them in their time of need. They depend on you as much as you do them.

Yes, we do heal but o heal does not mean to be back to the way we were before the tragedy. We are never the same person but, to be trite, that is life. Many things change us on our journey and the death of a loved one is one of those unavoidable things.

And yes, grief does change a person. We do get to choose how that change affects us. We we become a little more callus, more cold and aloof isolating ourselves from those we love so their eventual loss will not be as painful next time or will be become more accepting of the foibles of others and more caring for those we still have. The choice is ours to make.

I’m not sure that you ever completely heal, but you do move on with your life. It does change you and I don’t think you will ever get your old self back, but you continue as the self this suicide has forced you to become.

Grief is huge, and it makes a deep impact on people. Some people live shrouded in their grief for a very long time.
Grief is no memorial. Living past the grief, and finding joy in your life again is no disrespect.
It is okay to hurt, but it is also okay to shed the hurt and live on. The memorial is our memories, not our sadness.
You will laugh again, but for a while your sadness will be with you, and there will seem to be reminders everywhere.
Yes, you will be changed, but it will be like any scar on your skin. It will feel painful, then it will be like an itch, something which bothers you from time to time, but doesn’t make you cry.
Eventually, you will be able to look at it, and know it is there, but it doesn’t bother you anymore. You will be able to live your life normally, move on to new things, function just fine. When you look at the scar you will remember your pain, but you won’t feel that pain.

I don’t think we ever entirely ‘heal’ from such a major loss and definitely in the circumstances you’ve experienced. We are changed. However, with time your pain will dissipate and you will feel pain less often. Then there will be times when the pain of your loss will return strongly, but that will happen less and less often and there will come a time when you can think and talk about your brother without feeling so bereft. And gradually, you will have days where you don’t think of him so often, and eventually, you’ll have days where his loss won’t enter your mind. You have to allow yourself to go through the grieving process. Let yourself feel and cry and let yourself heal and start living again. You won’t always feel so sad and one day you will find you actually feel happy again. How long this takes is impossible to say. It can be quite cyclic; you will feel you’ve healed and then you take a few steps back.