Do you ever get offended by sexual stereotypes?

I thought the whole black guys have huge dicks thing was always just a porn thing. Didn’t think people attributed such things outside of porn.

“Do you ever get offended by sexual stereotypes?”

No, not at all.

It is understandable how you feel. The biological stereotype of penis size by skin colour has existed for a long time. In reality, there is little truth to it.

Stereotypes by definition reflect a lack of thinking, so I am not very tolerant of them.

However it sounds like you are deflecting from what really went on in your marriage. And trying to ease your thinking by fantasizing that your ex was acting out on some fantasy about black men is a false path that will lead you to frustration and an inability to get past this.

No matter how much your ex was in the wrong, take a look at your own part in the relationship. Until you do, you will not get past your old one.

And where do you notice this trend of which you speak? Your insecurity about penis size is not based in reality. I know too many women that express a dislike for overly endowed men because it just plain hurts. Quit basing your sexual understanding on porn stars, get to know some real women.

I don’t find this stereotype unusual. Often these days I work out of a hotel on Martinique that caters to the “swinging” lifestyle. It’s mostly white French couples on vacation. Local Black males are very popular with the women. They are something new and fascinating. As anybody knows, that is the greatest aphrodisiac. Once the novelty wears off, they move on to other things.

In the swinging philosophy, if one partner wants to seriously live out a fantasy, it’s the other partner’s responsibility to make that happen safely and possibly join in. As in every other aspect of life, a partner should facilitate their partner’s happiness. Happy partner, happy life.

As to stereotypes, I was a male nurse for 23 years. LOL. I learned quickly that stereotypes are only important if you buy into them. They are other people’s problems as far as I’m concerned.

Offended? No. Mostly I laugh at them, because they’re so stupid.

I’m Jewish, but went to a Catholic college. Some people there had never seen a Jew before. One asked me if I was super rich. Another asked me if I was a genius. One wondered where my horns were.

Face it, many people are stupid.

Nope. Sometimes the stereotypes occur in great number that people assume it as a statistic for general truth. What if black guys are notorious for their BBC? Some people are in to that, not that it’s wrong to imagine about what certain race of people good at. It’s the same like how people assume that you eat with hand just because you’re an Indian, will Indian people feel offended? Nope, unlikely, it’s generally not worth the while to consider what other people think about their personal stereotypical value.

Btw, I believe the hype about black guys is somewhat convincingly true. Not that I have slept with black guy before, but would like to just because of ‘that’ particular thing.

When a milf expects a second date, I mean c’mon…

I’ve read all of the responses, but I don’t know what to think honestly.
I mean I guess some black guys are bigger even though there seems to be a ton of well endowed white guys in porn too???
Umm…“Once you go black you never go back.”
Well, my ex wife went black and she definitely came back.
She was crying and said that she just wanted her husband back.
We’re not together anymore, but she definitely did try to come back.

OK, I actually found something on YouTube that might be relevant to this conversation.
It’s like a penis test between various men.
I don’t know if this is appropriate for fluther or not, but it’s a little interesting, a little offensive, but no nudity.
Let me know what you think.
https://youtu.be/GxgRySwnYNA

Here are some thoughts to consider:

1. Stereotypes are rubbish. This includes believing that men who are black are more well-endowed and that women prefer a massive massive penis on their partner.

2. The video is gross, but it supports #1.

3. If infidelity is a deal-breaker in maintaining a happy marriage for you, then the right move was made. It’s time to move on.

I guess you guys are right.
I will move on, but I have to admit that the video @Unofficial_Member posted was kinda scary.
Like if women particularly white one’s like in that video really feel that way then how can a white guy expect any loyalty?
Hmm…Should white, Asian, Indian and Hispanic guys form a union and go on strike from being with white women?
Like just let them only be with black guys and maybe they’ll see that the stereotype isn’t completely true and that they’re being jerks for being so shallow and if it is true and they never want to go back then I’ll just date Asian, Hispanic, Indian women and maybe some black women want me, you never know?
How’s that solution?

Yeah.
Go on strike against all white women because you saw a crappy video about a bunch of drunk hoes being sexist.

You sure that’s the way to fight against stereotypes?

Nevermind the racism…

We gotta do something,this is getting outta hand.
I’m all for dating whoever you want I haven’t been with a white girl since I was a teenager, but I don’t talk shit about them either or say women of another ethnicity are more beautiful or smarter etc.
I just expect a little respect from those “drunk hoes” as you put it.
I’m a person too, I have feelings.

^ Why would you need any respect from them? Do you know them? Is your life in danger because of them? If not, there’s no need to expect anything from random strangers. Live your life and deal with more important issues.

The only thing I’m going to bother with saying here is that respect is earned, not demanded.

Whatever….
I’m expected to be an open minded person, loving, caring unbiased person by society.
Free of bigotry, prejudice and masoganistic views and behaviour.
I try to treat all people with respect whether they’ve earned it or not.
Maybe it’s because I’m Canadian I don’t know?
I try to be nice and I just want respect in return.
I think honestly I love women and would like to be given a chance and not be discriminated against because of the color of my skin especially not by some drunk white chicks who don’t even realize that by running down white men they’re also putting down their own brothers, fathers and son’s.
If we’re not good enough for white women anymore then fuck it!!
Maybe we won’t want them either and there will be no more white babies being born and we can just go out separate ways.
Thanks for nothing drunk white chicks on YouTube!!!

@Cooper_Saldana Stop the bus. You try to treat all pepople with respect whether they’ve earned it or not because you are Canadian? Isn’t that a stereotype?

There seems to be an issue with “white” women in your mind. You haven’t dated one since being a teen and there is an assumption that all “white” women don’t want to be sexual partners with “white” men. I suggest that you seriously reconsider this viewpoint as it seems to be based on a few personal incidents and one really stupid video.

It sounds as if you’ve reached a point where it’s time to focus on your own issues, as it is having a negative impact on your life. Have you considered therapy due to the divorce? My brother did this and learned to recognise his shortcomings and what he had been doing right. He’s almost 10 years into marriage #2. How involved are you in group activities that are of interest?

Would you please quit giving me relationship advise on this purticular thread?
I know I’ve asked in the past, but this question really is about sexual stereotypes and how YOU feel about them.
I shared a personal experience I didn’t really need a second opinion about my separation it’s pretty well explored and straight forward at this point.
I’ll give it to you the the “Canadian” thing is a stereotype, but not a sexual one and probably not one that’s offensive either.
I don’t have a problem with white women, but apparently the evidence would show that a growing number seem to have a problem with me.
I’m a white guy, normal 6 inch penis, but at some point that became a reason to put us down even though I bet there’s a lot of black guys who don’t even have that and there’s probably aot of Asian guy’s who are as large as porn stars, but they get put down by these stereotypes.
I just think this is a legit topic and seeing that video really proves how bad this purticular stereotype has become and the fact that people don’t really fight it and stand up to ignorant people who spread it is just making it grow.
If people want to advertise these stereotypes as the truth than I have a right to share my own experience in which my wife slept with a black man, told me it wasn’t good and wanted to come back.
This is fluther we should explore things that people don’t usually talk about.
I really just wanted people’s reactions to the stereotypes in my question, maybe they’d share personal experiences that were relevant and maybe I’d learn something and maybe I’d understand why this stereotype is being advertised everywhere these days and why people think it’s ok?
It was just a concept for a conversation about something that is annoying and kinda hurtful.

Got it.

So my opinion is that stereotypes are jus that: a label about a specific group of people that is often based upon a limited observation or even heresay. It often proves to be false by facts, yet some people continue to believe the stereotype.

As far as sexual stereotypes, be it biological, regional, or gender, it exists in those that aren’t fully connected with humanity. Needless to say, it annoys the daylights out of me that anyone would buy into a stereotype.

While you’re complaining about stereotypes you seem awfully comfortable with throwing a lot of them around yourself.

^ He’s right.

Enlighten me Darth Algar, what are you talking about?
I throw around a lot of stereotypes?
I mean what is your answer to my original question or do you just hang around looking for arguments?

Maybe it’s because I’m Canadian I don’t know?

what

Yeah, that’s a lot of stereotypes I threw around, you guys got me.
What it has to do with you guys answering my fucking question I have no idea, thanks anyway.

“Maybe it’s because i’m Canadian I don’t know”
Sounds like a fuckin awful C&W song by a guy with a beard you could lose a badger in :D

Ok, maybe my questions are too difficult or something, because I feel like now people are just answering without even taking time to even try to understand the question.
I try not to ask common, easy shit that anyone can just google, I look for insight from people who have had different experiences than I have.
I was warned when I joined this site a while ago that some people here try to give thoughtful, helpful responses and some are just plain contentious.
Thank you to anyone who made an effort it was an interesting topic to me.

We answered your question, that stereotypes are bogus and out of touch with what is really going on.

Stereotyping people is a form of bigotry of the worst kind. And you have some idea of white women wanting anything but white men, simply on your false notion that other races have larger penises.

Get over your hatred for white women, and get past your penis insecurity, and may be we can discuss something worthwhile.

I just got that from the video unofficial member posted.
Otherwise my question had no destinction between white women or any other.
You can insult me all you want, but you could always move on to another question too.
I realize some people don’t like talking about this and maybe I hit a nerve with this issue.

Here. Maybe these very interesting links will allay your concerns relating to this particular stereotype:

Fact or fiction? 6 myths

Average Size… for a Black Man: Myths About Size, Racism, and the Patriarchy

The Truth about Penis Size

The Evolution Of Penis Size

Ask a Porn Star

In Summary:
1. Each woman is an individual with individual tastes, needs and prejudices.
2. It’s really all about technique and that’s what you should be working on.
2. Hint: The true G-spot—the thing that sets everything off and running—is between her ears.

OK thank you for the links I will look at them, but if you read the question you guys will see that I am not a person who believes the stereotype and why you think I need help with my technique is beyond me?
I just want to know your experiences.
I feel like if you don’t have anything to share you’re kinda just looking for someway to get at me, by either trying to turn things around on me as if sexual stereotypes are my problem only.
I just feel like some people are kinda pretending this doesn’t exist.
Watch Unofficial Member’s You tube link, it’s not me on there I’m just reacting to it.
Am I not allowed to be offended?

My experiences seeing black men in gyms, at poolside in clothing optional hotels, on clothing optional beaches—is that their penis size is as varied as ours.

And never, ever think that you can’t improve on technique. Sex gets awfully boring if you don’t insert something new now and then. Routine is a death knell. What a lot of guys never learn is, it’s not just about you getting off. That one is easy. It’s about satisfying one particular woman’s sexual needs, one woman at a time. And with women, it all starts in their heads—even if some actually buy into stereotypes. Those women are usually inexperienced in one area or another.

Thanks.
Some things in your links that I found interesting is that black men perpetuating this stereotype is kinda a double edged sword for them.
If they happen to be hung great because women will flock to them for that stereotype, but if they have an average Penis or smaller than I guess it’s harder for them because due to the stereotype there’s greater expectation for them to be bigger.
The oral sex tips are good, but I honestly love eating pussy and after 15 years with the same woman she told me that I did it perfectly so I am kinda proud of that, but a little bothered by the notion that the cure for this stereotype seems to be that it’s not for women to educate themselves about penis size, but rather for us guys with regular dicks to learn how to massage and go down on a woman better to please her.
See what I’m saying?
Women have to take some responsibility too and stop either spreading this stereotype or maybe they should learn how to be more accepting, loving and make the most of whatever their lover has and show them respect regardless of ethnicity or penis size.
You see what I mean?

Well, hmmm. You probably don’t realize this but your very post was sexist. You assume that women are as obsessed with penis sizes as men are. They aren’t.
You also assume that the size of a penis contributes to a woman’s satisfaction. It doesn’t.
These are very common sexist rumors that men spread (not women) because they are obsessed with penis size, and it’s their penis that gives them satisfaction.

To answer the black guy issue specifically, I dated a black guy for many years after my divorce. In his case, the “stereotype” was true, and he was very proud of his large penis. He was also the worst, most clueless lover I’ve ever had. When I tried to educate him on a woman’s body he dismissed me because he couldn’t believe that that “tiny thing” held all the power for me, and he didn’t think it was possible that I needed anything but his big penis to keep me happy because it sure made him happy.
I finally gave up trying to teach him because it just caused friction, and I wasn’t in it for the sex anyway. I was in it for the grown “me” time and the company.

The only sexist sterotypes that offend me are the ones that say woman’s opinions and abilities don’t need to be taken as seriously as men’s because “everyone knows” we aren’t as smart as men.
I don’t see that so much any more, but it was rampant when I was growing up and it’s still there among many men my age. It was just a “known fact.” It was very frustrating.

Sexual stereotypes just make me roll my eyes. Well, unless a guy attacks me because, you know, I was just asking for it but didn’t know it. Or I did know it and was just being a tease. Either way, my fault.

Thanks for sharing your experience, I appreciate that.
I don’t believe that I agree with the idea that this is only spread by men.
Earlier in this thread @Unofficial_Member shared a link to a You tube video that I found a little offensive.
I don’t know if you saw it , but I can try to share it here and I think it show’s women spreading this stereotype as well,
Thanks. https://youtu.be/62SB_4JFLMg

You can find a video on virtually anything to support your belief. However, in real life, it isn’t women who bring the topic up. It’s men, as you did this time.

Well my wife actually brought it up after she cheated on me with a black man only to tell me that the sex wasn’t good and he wasn’t well endowed and she wanted to get back together with me.
I never cared about this stereotype until I found out my wife did.

Well, if you’re young and inexperienced then it would be easy to be curious. If the sex wasn’t good it had nothing to do with his penis size. We just tell you all that it is (or isn’t) to make you feel good, either that you’re well endowed, or to make you feel ok that you’re not because we know how important it is to you.
It really does not make a difference to us.
Glad you figured out what oral sex is all about. That’s more important than any penis.

@Dutchess_III…you said friction.

@Berserker snicker!

@Dutchess_III I like how you speak for all the women “We just tell you…”, “we know…”, “does not make a difference to us…”. Heh.