What if it's not your circus but it is your monkeys?

You don’t involved unless they are impacting you, personally, or your quality if life.
If asked for advise or recommendation, they will be freely given; but if not followed that’s okay, at least they asked.

Serves you right for producing those monkeys!

I am very close to my adult offspring (I am very fortunate) so conversations about life, love, etc tend to be organic. I do try not to ask too much about stuff, I still am the parent, after all, but we seem to connect very nicely.

As I have two college age kids, this comes up a bit.

My son found himself in a bit of a jam from drinking a year ago. To the extent that I helped him out, he knows full well I get to offer my opinion/advice when I think he is being risky. But he also knows he is responsible for his behavior. My only open request to him is to let me know what is going on if it has to do with helping him with tuition and books.

Same with my daughter. She knows I am available but I am not a helicopter parent and she will have to take care of problems that arise. We have had good talks about independence and responsibility.

Basically zero. My daughter is 29 now, smart, capable and I feel no need to advise her, unless she asks. I haven’t given her unsolicited advice since she was about 20 years old. I trust her decision making.

I try not to. Well, I don’t involve myself at all. Of my 3 kids, I’m down to one, the middle child, who still needs a helping hand now and then. If I can help I do. If I can’t, I don’t. But you know what? Of all my kids, she’d be the first to step up and be there for me if I needed help. ALL my kids would step up, but she’d be the first, and most generous.