I'm really confused. I want to know if it's time to move on or should I hold on a little longer?
Asked by
Isha81 (
4
)
April 22nd, 2017
my fiance was incarcerated two years ago. I went to every visit road to him I was working a 12-hour shift overnight just so I could have enough to give to him and to provide for my children.When I was release everything was wonderful for about a month. He was released to a halfway house and ended up going with his mother soon after he started hanging out with friends four months one by and I only seen him 3 times when he was just a few minutes away. he made me feel Unpretty unappreciated he treated me so bad he wouldn’t even take me to the front porch. So he ended up getting itself into trouble right after he locked me in a room beat me and stole everything I had. He said I never did anything for him those dozens of visit was because I wanted and he said that it wasn’t important. I heard it but I told them that if he ever got into trouble again that I would not carry myself the way I did that I I would take it easy and think about myself more because it wasn’t important. his probation officer had told them he was going to go back into jail. Before he got incarcerated spoke so bad about me he put my reputation down he made it to our people would disrespect me he made sure the people that I was a monster. I made sure that he would knowledge what I did for him and he took it for granted two months went by and I went for Thanksgiving to visit. He look like he was happy he said he loved me that he was scared of losing me. but soon after that I got his email account because I had his phone and there was so many things that I found out that was so hurtful while he was treating me bad he was treating all the females good well I was going hungry working 12 hours overnight every day he was at strip clubs sending money on other females but we’ll never take me to even buy a soda he claimed he was always broke I read messages of him and his mother talking bad about me it was incredible the things I found out I forgave him because I love him very much. He promised he apologized but then two months down the line hi found out he was talking to his ex because he mistakenly wrote a letter to her and send it to my address. Tomato Story a little bit shorter he blames me he treats me bad he’s always threatening me I ended up in the hospital because I had a nervous breakdown the day he called and asked me how I was feeling I told him I was feeling very bad and he said good cuz I want to tell you something and he antagonize me said I was worth He was a monster. After that he calls me at least 20 times a day I don’t pick up his calls he sends people to call me to tell me that he loves me I feel that I miss him and I really want to pick up his calls but at the same time I don’t I don’t know what to do.
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12 Answers
Definitely move on.
He physically beat you and cheats on you and lies to you and he takes advantage of you.
I think you need to get as much space from him as possible.
I know it’s not easy to let go of someone you love even if they are ruining you, but the more space you get from this person and time to recover the better you will feel and the more you will realize how hard he made your life and how much better off you are without a toxic, abusive person in your life.
I really hope you can get away from that person.
You’re going to feel a lot of mixed emotions and you will miss him at times, but you have to remember what your life was like with him.
I hope you are safe and can find peace and happiness.
I have no doubt that you need to get away from him. He is toxic for you and I don’t advise this lightly. Please, before he totally destroys you or at least your self-esteem, suspend all contact with him. He is dissing you and hurting you physically, you have to cut him off.
Why is this even a question? Ditch the asshole.
Just the cold, hard facts.
1. He is a criminal that has been / is incarcerated.
2. He is abusive, mentally, emotionally, physically.
3. He has stolen from you. read: criminal again
4. He is controlling, part of abusive personalities
Umm…way more than 3 strikes here, and you LOVE this creep?
I think you know what you need to do, do it and get some counseling to learn why you are attracted to abusive males and I sincerely hope you don’t have children with this slime ball.
He uses you for your money . A real man doesn’t do that. A real man doesn’t hit women.
Leave and don’t look back.
Good luck!
He’s using you, and he abuses you. Leave immediately. Love is never a good enough reason to stay with someone.
Good men do not abuse their wives/girlfriends in any way.
Leave immediately. Break all contact with him and move if you have to so that he doesn’t know where you live. Change your phone number and/or block his number. Don’t accept any calls, texts, emails, regular mail letters or any other kind of correspondence from him. Leave now!
If you feel the need to question yourself as to whether you need to leave, you need counseling. This guy is bad news. You already know that. Leave now and do not ever go back to him, and don’t let him know where you are and don’t accept any correspondence from him.
Leave now!
I agree with the above, but I just want to add one more point:
Do you want your kids to grow up to be like him? Do you want him to be their role model?
If you keep this scumbag in your life, your kids have a high chance of turning out like him. Please get help and seek out a woman’s support group. They are really good at giving you the help you need to protect yourself and your children. You are a good person, you and your kids don’t deserve to have your lives poisoned by this guy’s disgusting behavior.
There are many other men out there who know how to treat a woman right. Please don’t feel like you don’t have other options.
I agree completely with move on. I would even go one step further and say, if you can, move.
It sounds like he, and his family, and his friends are everywhere in your life. If you can go where they are not around at all, that would be best. Then don’t get involved with any man at all until you get counselling. It will help you sort out for yourself where your heart has been, and what it needs to heal.
You take care of yourself, and those kids, and leave poison men out of your life.
@Isha81 Your first statement “I am so confused” IS SHOCKING. His treatment of you IMHO is graphically clear. He does not respect you. He uses you. Give yourself a chance to meet someone worthy of you. Someone who respects you and treats you as you deserve. And his most recent stalking behavior tells me he is dangerous! Get yourself and children to safety.
@Isha81 Oh, oops, the children were mentioned in the first paragraph. Is this guy their father or are they from a previous relationship, or more than one previous relationship?
I hope this man is not their father. You MUST take charge for their sake, they are your #1 priority not some lowlife dude.
If you have to ask, it’s time to go.
You had me at “incarcerated”. Move on.
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