What is the price you have to pay for being peacekeeper in the family?

Life in Jail.
The only way true peace can be achieved is by eliminating all sides of the conflict.

At some point you will manage to piss off everyone at the same time because each will see you as taking the side of the others. Many time, particularly in times of stress people cannot see neutrality. They develop an us vs them and if you ain’t with them you are against them.

it’s a burden. It’s a burden to know truths that you can’t reveal. It’s a burden that people come to you with complaints. It’s a burden that people look to you to be the understanding one. It’s stressful to see family members hurt or upset. It’s stressful to keep your temper when the family members are being combative. It’s stressful to feel like you have been run over by a truck, or sometimes even mentally raped (it feels even physical, but not in a sexual way) because family members pull on you and try to manipulate you.

@rojo You got that right.

If you stand as the peacekeeper, you will have to accept a number of truths

1. You have to keep your reactions/responses in check; this is needed for you to have and maintain trust from all family members.

2. You have to monitor each member’s situation. Knowing what’s happening to each individual will help you manage the interactions at home a little better.

3. You will be the emotional and social glue of the family.

4. You have to expect moments when you will feel exhausted keeping the family united. Coz it is. It is exhausting.

I recommend that instead of settling for patch ups after quarrels, opt to work on slowly but surely addressing the root of a misunderstanding or mistake. Actual and long-term peacemaking will lessen the burden on you and improve the family bond.

What is the price I pay for trying to keep peace in the family?

Severe dissapointment because when I tried to ease tensions I found out that family members were angry for a whole collection of little things and not just what they were currently fighting over.
Sometimes they do expect you to pick a side or else they just assume that you’re against them.
If you’re dealing with adults good luck because by the time they’re arguing they’ve already been stewing over their complaints about each other and they’ve usually made up their minds that they’re going tell the other one off and if possible avoid talking from now on.
In my experience children are easier to deal with because they actually listen, learn and they can’t just get in their cars and go their separate ways every time they have an issue.