How would you handle this Facebook friend/unfriend issue?

I would let it go, and chalk it up to her other issues. It’s not enough to get into it with her.

Knowing you on FB, I know your posts are not offensive or off putting in any way. There may be a whole host of reasons why she unfriended you, one of which may be envy that you aren’t dealing with the same issues she is.

Some people on facebook do a lot of comparing other people’s posts/“outsides” against their own “insides”, without fully realizing we all have our own burdens to bear.

I would leave it alone. I have unfriended people over their endless posts over the election, over their constant drama, over daily pics of kids and hubs having the time of their life each and every day.
In other words, you may not even realize that you are annoying her, but since it’s happened twice, it doesn’t seem like a mistake.

Another vote to let it go without mentioning it unless she brings it up.

As Anna would say…link

@jca I think I would let it go.

I used to get to a point where I would feel anxiety on Facebook due to privacy issues and I’d just start unfriending everyone then I’d leave Facebook and come back in a few months and start friend requesting the same people again.
They would accept my requests because I think some people get that Facebook is strange and people get sick of it and feel depressed and over exposed and need a break.
If she’s bipolar then she could have anxiety issues like me or one time a woman unfriended me just because I got back together with my ex that treated me like crap so sometimes there’s many reasons, but I wouldn’t take it too personally if you get unfriended.

I’ve had an FB friend who did that to me several times. Now I don’t really pay attention any more if we’re friends or not friends. It’s her misheggas.

Our mutual friend told me he is unfriended also. Not sure about his wife as she is at work.

@jca On another site when I/you hover over the person’s profile you can mark a little box “friend’ or “follow” or “neutral”. have a tremor and have accidentally removed a “friend” status from a profile and felt embarrassed when I realized it/had it pointed out to me. There can be many explanations. I hope real friends give me some slack.

@si3tech: Yes, I gave her slack the first time. Now, two months later, it happened again and it happened to our other mutual friend (as I wrote above but I think you were typing while I was typing). He’s unfriended, not sure about his wife. Too much of a coincidence.

Maybe it’s some bug or someone else has been using her profile.

Or…well…she doesn’t want to be friends….

I would leave it alone. People unfriend others for many reasons. I unfriended several people that I met online. I was going through some personal trauma and decided to keep my fb more intimate with people that interacted with me or reached out to me via personal message. Your true friends reveal themselves when you are having a difficult time. There’s nothing crazy about letting go of people who rarely interact with you. I don’t need a large friend list. Quality over quantity is my mantra now.

@jca It would be fine to ignore it and remain on friendly speaking terms when you meet. It’s really quite impossible to know fully what’s going on.

There is another idea. You could approach her and ask her how’s she’s doing. As a person with bipolar, I know that absolutely no one has ever done that for me. If you want to do that, you don’t have to bring up the fact she’s unfriended you twice. You could reach out and try to understand her reality.

But really, it’s up to you. You know your situation best, and whether or not you have time for what might be something lengthy.

@jca Seems like it’s their loss then.

One of my very close friends moved away when she and her husband got a divorce. During the time that she lived near me, she would periodically close down her whole FB. At the time I couldn’t figure out why, and she could never adequately explain, but I think it had to do with the fact that her husband (also a good friend) was cheating on her, and they were all on FB, but none of us knew about the cheating. I think my friend simply couldn’t deal with it, having to see it and their “supposedly innocuous” conversations, and knowing that the rest of us had no idea what was going on, and might eventually figure it out.

She was very fragile and prone to emotional problems (mostly brought on by her husband’s cheating I found out much later).

Your friend may have emotional problems and simply can’t handle seeing everyone else’s conversations happily going forth, when she can’t fit into that mode.

I would let it go, because it seems like it’s nothing personal towards you, since you found out that she’s unfriended other people too, for seemingly no reason.

Facebook is not for the faint of heart.

I count myself lucky in that I don’t have a lot of friends on my FB. I only have relatives, who’s kids I wouldn’t get to see if I wasn’t on FB, and friends that are super close friends IRL, and friends who have moved away, and that is the best way to keep in contact.

I had to unfollow one cousin because she posts really disgusting political things. She’s a Tea Party follower, so basically every ugly political post or rant she posted was a direct, or indirect insult to me and my immediate family, and most of my extended family and friends. I love her, but I do not respect her. She eats up fake news like it’s chocolate covered donuts with rainbow sprinkles. Then she spreads that fake news like a kid spreads sticky stuff all over the counter.

If you ever do feel a need to clear the air with her – in a totally non-threatening, non-confrontational way (and it seems like others who have responded here could benefit from the same nuance in Facebook, too) – then you could mention the difference between “unfriend” and “unfollow”.

I have a lot of friends in Facebook, from all across the political, economic and religious spectra, but sometimes… they get going on too much about too little: Trump; religious holidays, prayers and rites; begging for cash (it’s not that I’m so hard-hearted or even short-armed as I am empty-pockets much of the time), but I don’t want to kill or even appear to kill a friendship… so I “unfollow” the person for greater or lesser time. (Sometimes it’s just that they’re such godawful writers, and I do have my standards when it comes to what I will and will not read. “Too long” is fine; “too badly written” will not do.)

If your friend is reacting negatively in some way to something that you’ve said (or that others have said, or is just too overloaded with too much stuff from too many people in too little time), then she doesn’t have to “unfriend”, which I consider the Nuclear Option in Facebook. She can simply select the person by name and in the drop-down box to the right of any posts on her wall select “Unfollow” ... and she won’t have ended the “friendship” (on Facebook, anyway), but neither will she be burdened by anything other than direct messages and posts to her wall, which she may presumably still want to receive.

@Hawaii_Jake You made a great suggestion. So many people give up on their friends when mental illness is involved instead of trying to understand or be helpful. I found out the hard way dealing with anxiety and severe depression. The people who left my life only made my depression worse. It would have made a world of difference if just one person had reached out instead of the critical comments I received.