Would you get mad if a person you were supposed to meet for special event abruptly changed plans?

Honestly, reading that scenario it is hard to say who abruptly changed plans. One sets a time, then abuses that agreement, but then gets upset that the second one behaves the same.

If it is a “special occasion”, one does not “set a time because one has errands to do before”, and then fail to plan ahead to be on time. That sends a message that it was not so special to begin with.

This relationship involves two inconsiderate people.

Why do I feel that the only acceptable answer here is “Yes”?

If I were you, OP, I wouldn’t get all pissy. Remember, you got late too.
But meeting “at night” is out of question.

I think there is a huge difference between arriving a few minutes late, the person I’m meeting not being ready and them then postponing the organised get-together after I’ve arrived to meet them. I’d be cranky.

Dump them. They are not worth the trouble. Find someone more reliable or be unhappy for the rest of your life; they are not going to change.

It sounds like one big misunderstanding, and I’m guessing that one or the other, or both, of the parties have showed up late before. Maybe clearer plans would help avoid this situation in the future. Also, have a plan B. Example: I would like to pick you up for the dinner party at 5, but I have to do some errands ahead of time. If I am running late, do you still want to go? If you’d rather not go if I’m later than I expect, I’ll just go ahead, and then we can do something tomorrow night.

Always have a plan B. Also, if you, or she, have a tendency to be late, solve that problem now, before it becomes a much bigger problem. For some people, chronic tardiness is a deal breaker.

Flaky behavior is of course regrettable. The issue boils down to your expectations, and what you are willing to accept. I should think a single incident insufficient for a verdict, but the nonchalant attitude is troubling. I would be inclined to either write him/her off, or just not make plans requiring his/her timely participation.

Is this a true scenario or a hypothetical? I ask because the “let’s say” statement makes it sound like it’s hypothetical. Did this actually happen? I agree with @zenvelo that it sounds like two inconsiderate people. Plans were made, one was late but it’s not ok for the other to be late.

For me, if it’s truly a special occasion, I’m doing my best to be on time and I expect the other person to do the same but we all have cell phones and can let each other know if one of us is running late. People do have things that are unavoidable sometimes, and your story doesn’t explain what the issues are.

Did one person have something very important like they had to pick up medication at the pharmacy and there was no other time to get it? Or their car needed emergency work and they had to pick it up before the date, so that’s what caused them to run late? Sometimes things are unavoidable in life so the hypothetical stuff is hard to comment on without more details.

Errands should generally be taken into account before setting the time of the event.

Things come up, shit happens. If it’s a one-time thing, consider letting it go. If it’s a consistent flakiness problem, maybe it’s time to have a chat.

If it was a really important event you were looking forward to/paid for/ invested time in planning—tell them how it made you feel and why you’re frustrated.

@Seek: My point was that sometimes there are things that we don’t anticipate (like having to pick up meds at a pharmacy because I had a rash and it might be Lyme Disease, or last night the car had an issue and so I couldn’t leave work early to pick it up from the mechanic. Just some examples). If I were to meet someone and they had an issue due to unforeseen circumstances, I’d probably be understanding.

Yes. You agreed to meet for this event and never mind you were a few minutes late they blew it off last minute.
It was a commitment, and should be respected at least (“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”), if not followed through.
Use this experience to calibrate your future arrangements with this other person. Next time you have every right to grill that person about whether or not they actually intend to do something with you.
If it turns out they just like saying they are going to do something with but don’t show up, stop making arrangements with that person.

Initially, probably disappointed, perhaps irritated, but I’d try to save any other reaction until I fully understood the reason for the cancellation.

P.S. I do love it when somebody cancels plans for something I had agreed to but really didn’t want to do.