I know people are raised racist and get educated and end up more accepting, but do people ever grow up open-minded and end up racist or misogynistic?

I don’t see what the fact that you lost your cheating wife to a black man has anything to do with anything. I can tell you from experience that it is a myth that they are all hugely endowed and also that that is not a significant factor in being a great lover in any case.

Of course. You can always get “sidetracked”.

@Sneki95 Thanks I always tried to satisfy her.
I don’t know why she left me?
Oh, well?

”...because there’s kind of an underground sexual race war going on right now?

I think you are pretty well confused about this. The fact that your ex went out with a black man does not constitute a “sexual race war” anywhere but in your head.

You had a wife that got tired of you for whatever reason, and knows how to push your insecurity buttons. Quit coming up with racist fantasies, and take a hard look at your part in the relationship.

I know it is hard to do when the other party stepped out, but a relationship involves two people. You need to own your half of the relationship.

If you have to blame someone for what your wife did blame your wife.

I guess so, but I was a pretty good husband, I did everything for her.
So I guess I need Dr. Phil to analyze my marriage.

I think some counseling is in order here as well as a good lawyer.

This maybe the Coronas talking again, but I think I just need to hit myself on the head with s hammer and forget all about my adventures with my ex and meet a nice woman and start over.
Just a thought.

I don’t think so. There is always that fear of the unknown, like fearing how they’ll take you, so you don’t know how to take them.
My mother, the dear sweet Irish Catholic she is, doesn’t like or trust blacks. Why? There weren’t many of them around in the town she grew up in. So go figure…

Time for my bath and Coronas.
I promise not to send rude messages to the moderators this time.
Thanks guys, this is my vacation for the year, Happy Friday!! : )

P.S. Don’t even think of looking for another relationship until you get your head straight. Trust me – it won’t work well.

Buy some penis enlargement pills.

In all seriousness, what @janbb is important. Don’t go into a relationship if you are upset about the last one. It won’t work well for anyone.
I’m not sure why she cheated. Maybe he didn’t have a kid and it felt like a break for her- time away from responsibilities and things.

I guess so guys, but I was made for loving now I just got find someone who deserves it.
Thanks. ; )

I guess I shouldn’t have edited my answer.
Similar to what @zenvelo said, it may not be about your race or equipment.

I’m drunk but I’ll still respond.
My ex is an asshole, she just called me 10 minutes ago to ask me about my son’s missing sweat pants.
She never calls me unless she knows I’m free for the night.
She’s just making sure I’m home because she’s worried and she wants me as a backup option.
Anyone who says I should enlarge my penis is an asshole too.
I have 6 inches and she always came well before me I know because her legs and vaginal canal tightened up on me and she would start shaking.
Then she would giggle and thank me.
I’m not perfect, but I don’t need 12 inches to make a woman cum multiple times either.
I could do it with my tongue and fingers alone if I wanted.
Would I like an extra few inches sure, do I need it?
Not really.
Thanks. : )

TMI

NEI

I seriously doubt she left you just because someone else had a bigger penis than you did. If she did, I’m sure she quickly realized it was a crappy reason. I dated a black man for a long time after my divorce. He was at the bottom of my list as far as good lovers (although he had a large penis,) but we liked each other and we had fun together, and he was safe with my children.

But to answer the question: I don’t think you’re as worried about his race as you are fixated on his penis size. I guess that’s just one of those guy concerns that I think are ridiculous.

@SensitiveChris I was joking about the pills.
You didn’t need to go into that detail.

Two too many Coronas.
Actually, this question is quite valid.
Don’t answer it just with you own personal experiences in mind.
People have a need to find answers for things, even when there are no answers to find.
Lots of women who have been attacked come to hate not just the attacker, but their attacker’s ethnicity, even when they previously did not.
I used to date a man who had become very insecure about his masculinity because his wife had left him for another woman.
Wow! There was nothing inadequate about this man as a lover. He was positively delicious.
People do this a lot after break ups. They doubt themselves. They beat themselves up.
The woman left you. That is what it is, and nothing more. Your self esteem is suffering, but you are doing that to yourself.
Don’t blame your penis. Don’t blame anyone’s skin color. Do not call it god’s judgement.
Find a single’s group, or two. Look for some sort of self help, self awareness type of group also.
Put yourelf together with people, and back off the Coronas.
That is my two cent’s worth.

Why not keep it terrifically simple, blame your dick, and then move on? It’s the one thing you can’t do anything about, so you can stop worrying about it.

I blame our love fading and also it’s 5:30 now and I’m now sober so disregard this question also please, thank you.

No problem

Focus your hatred on the real matter please. If one black man did something bad to you it doesn’t mean that every black man is horrible.

But seriously, what you are experiencing is quite common for grieving people. When you hate someone, you start to hate everything about them. And it leads to hating every single person with those things. Trust me, I have been there before. I was dumped by someone who liked soap opera. I hated her so much that I started to see soap opera as disgusting. The fact that she complained about my taste of media didn’t help either. Now I realize that the hate was really stupid and pushed people away from me.

I don’t want to be insesitive, but is there another angle to look at it? In one thread you told us that your ex was controlling and narcissistic and a lot of your current pain and insecurity came from her. Maybe it’s for the better that she left you? Maybe you should feel sorry for the black man instead for being deceived by your ex?

I know you were drunk when you asked this, but there are already a lot of unresolved issues you have. And they are there even when you are sober.

Yes, you’re right.
I feel like that man has no idea what he’s in for and the longer he’s with her the longer she stays away from me.
I miss her, but I miss the wife she was shortly after our child was born.
She was completely different and seemingly devoted to our life together.
The person she is now I don’t even recognize and I can’t trust a word out of her mouth.
I have no problem with women being attracted to other men for any reason because even when I was married I was attracted to all types of women the difference is that I never acted on it, she did so I blame her for cheating and I blame him for sleeping with a married woman and honestly I think they both suck as people and can have each other.
Thanks.

@SensitiveChris maybe she did change, but I suspect that it has more to do with your expectation about her. Your angst could stem from your own image of her being a great human being, while in fact she was never close to the ideal wife you know in the first place.

I don’t blame you for anything. I have been through a painful relationship with a narcissist so I can fully understand your struggle. Narcissists never show their true color when you first know them. They are masters of the act of deceiving. They always come as kind, compassionate and basically perfect and everyone takes the bait. Those who are unfortunate enough to be their victims live in the eternal maze of confusion. They can hardly tell whether the narcissist is a devil or just a good person with bad habits. Of course love also plays a role here. It’s very hard to accept that your loved one is a horrible human being who only uses you for their personal gain. And what’s dangerous is that even after the victim is free from the narcissist, the damage is still there and they doubt whether there is something wrong with them the whole time or if they should trust anyone.

Knowing this may help lift the resentment that is haunting you. The black man could very much be just another victim or your ex’s evil game. Thinking of it that way will free your mind from further hatred stop you from isolating yourself from the world.

That said, let it go. It’s all said and done. Blaming doesn’t get your ex back, nor does it magically turn your ex into the old lovely woman you knew. Just think to yourself that you are better off without her further abuse to your self-esteem. The energy that you use to blame those two, now use it on raising your son to be a happy child. Focus on the present. At least you still have someone you can care for and who will definitely care for you back in return.

@SensitiveChris: I know you’re not here any more but I know you can still follow this question as any member of the public.

My advice (and I know there’s a lot of it above) is to not answer the phone when your ex calls on nights when she has your son. Let her leave a message and then you listen to it later.

Also, I am not sure how often you get drunk but examine your drinking habits. Is getting drunk or even just having a six pack of Coronas or whatever you do, something you do on a regular basis? Just a thought. It can’t hurt to be introspective about all aspects.

Did that guy leave again? He has some serious problems he needs to address and not by coming here every week as a different first placating and then hostile person. I get so weary of people’s shenanigans sometimes.

@janbb Apparently he’s still hanging around, lurking in the shadow, ready to jump out when he feels we are being mean. He is watching us all along so we better stop talking shit! ~

If he is being honest all along, I think I have a theory about what is really wrong with him, judging by his interaction with people here (disclaimer: it’s just a theory. We strangers on the internet can’t be 100% sure of what is wrong with him without face-to-face interaction.) Apparently he has a serious problem with taking criticism. Everything that sounds like a negative opinion about him sends him into a tantrum, even if in fact it isn’t close to a criticism. He is unable to assess himself honestly and in his mind he is a helpless victim of anyone who thinks of him negatively. Every negative opinion about him is considered “attack” and the people doing that are “bullying” or being “judgmental”. He appears to be enjoying playing the victim role.

I don’t know what the cause of this hyper-sensitivity is. It could be a result of the ex’s toxicity, or it could just be part of his personality all along. In the latter case, I seriously doubt if the story about the ex being horrible is legit. The ex could be genuinely trying to talk him out of his bad habit, only to receive angry reaction from him, just like what he did to some of us. Could the ex leave him not because she could no longer use him but because she was tired of constantly having to walk on such an eggshell?

Just a few deductions that I try to make out of any emotional influence. Then again we can never know for sure what is really wrong with him.

Thanks @Mimishu1995 that actually explains why his ex bailed on the marriage.

I agree. That’s a very insightful analysis, @Mimishu1995.

A friend of mine (Caucasian) did exactly that. In the late 1970s or early 1980’s, he met a beautiful African American woman, and they fell madly in love. A racially mixed couple was a rarity in that place and time, and the relationship suffered; not only from his white friends, but even more so from her black friends. Long story short, the pressure killed the relationship, and my friend is now bitterly prejudiced against African Americans