What do you think where his reasons to act in such weird way,or did I screw up?

I don’t know what’s going on, but it sounds like he’s moved on. And whatever his motives were or are don’t matter anymore.

Bottom line, you are no longer part of his life and your best move is to move on yourself.

It sounds to me like you were being demanding in a time period when he had a lot on his mind. I think you messed up.

Have you heard back yet? If not, I would go along with @snowberry . At worst what took place was a failure in communication. It should not cause a relationship to break up.

You messed it up. And, you wanted the relationship to end, whether you will admit that or not.

”...I was also very very indecisive whether I wanted to go out that day with him or not!!.”

He is graduating from Medical School, a lifetime milestone event, and you don’t know whether you want to see him? That isn’t a relationship, that is not even a friendship.

Don’t ever expect to her from him again. You don’t deserve him.

” I texted him after saying ”we should see each other better at night” (I, wanted to see what he was going to answer and if it was cool with him or not, just that).So I was waiting for a reply, but kept waiting and got nothing.”

See – this sounds like manipulation and game playing to me. You told him not to come basically and then got mad when he didn’t/

I couldn’t focus enough to read your entire message, but I think that he might could have had a hangover or another woman with him. Or have been stressed out. Little things like that don’t derail a good relationship. ~Don’t hurt me, i’m just taking a wild guess.
You are going to ask him yourself.

He was already going to break up with you. Then he said he was going to stop by, which he did, and you said you weren’t ready. It sounded like he was willing to wait the extra time for you to get ready, but then you blew him off, and said it would be better to see him that night. He was probably mad because you blew him off, not because you were late. On top of that, he was going to break up with you anyway.

He’s broken up with you. He just didn’t tell you.

I get the feeling that he just wasn’t that into you. I’m sorry.

Next time, don’t settle for dating someone who really doesn’t care whether he’s with you or not. Also, don’t play “testing” games with people. Be direct. Ask direct questions. And if you don’t get direct answers, you are probably with the wrong person.

Turn it around from his perspective. Hopefully you’ll be able to see he was expecting you to be excited to see him that morning, and then you totally flaked/bailed without explanation. So, #2.

Also since you did this and were confused, I doubt this is the only case.

If you weren’t part of the after-graduation festivities, that makes me wonder if he had some other plan in mind (another woman or just didn’t want to bring you around his family). I noticed he wanted to see you before, when he was closing his apartment, for some “fun time” but no mention of after.

Guys, his family did not even come to his graduation, his family lives in another country,, as I said he did not sound very enthuasiastic and in the past days I noticed him weird like very stressed cause his teacher could not help him get him a spot in hospital for his residency, he had too much going on. @jca exactly, he actually did ask me what I wanted to do a week before, but when we agreed that he would text me the thursday before the grad, he never mentioned me anything if I was going to go to the grad or anything in regards to that’’ unless he was planning to do it when we got together, but its still weird, he could of told me straightforward in a text, my bf was just plain weird and complicated,I do ADMIT a 100%

I agree with you and reddeerguy1 maybe he was with another woman, that did not even live here and came from abroad for his graduation. people that act like this, do it for a reason not just to do it, I think maybe I was living a lie and he had way to much drama in his life with another woman.

I was very sutpid in the first place,,cause my Aunt told me many many times, have you communicated with him, and asked him about your future plans, I remember she told me ’‘sweatheart your too slow, when are you planning to talk to him seriously, the clock is ticking and your not putting the points straight over the table, time is passing and your not communicating with him,, I really don’t see this going anywhere if you don’t speak to him straightforward’’ and there it is boom, it happened exactly how I thought.My communication skills sucked big time. and his as well. I was to scared to talk seriously about our future with him.

@Zaku Yeah, But I dont see it as a flake, but more of bad communication, this I admit, but I don’t think he should of handle it this way, was very inmmature.He could of easily said: ’‘No I cant, I don’t have a place to stay anymore and the roads are more dangerous to drive back late at night’’.simple as that.

The funny thing is that,, this did not popped in my mind when I texted him ’‘we should see eachother better at night’’ I completely forgot he had closed his APT already and had nowhere to stay. My text came out of a an impulse. I did it without thinking about the whole scenario very well.

Well, learn some things for next time.

@butterfly_Wings: I noticed you blocked some of your previous questions and answers from your profile. I was going to take a look and see if you posted previously about your relationship.

If I were you, and I wanted closure or just to salvage a friendship, I’d text him and ask him if he wants to talk about it or meet up for a chat. That’s just me. If I were you, I’d like a little more to figure out what went wrong, or to explain to him what occurred so maybe you can have a frank discussion or explanation and both don’t go away mad or sad about the whole thing.

@jca I think he might of left already,he was running some of errands in regards to his Residency Match and all that drama, I think all of this was extremely weird especially for being almost 3 years with him and him being an ’‘adult’’ who is almost in his 40’s.

I know he was a complicated/ambiguous type of person at least that’s the way I saw him, so I don’t know what other things could had been going on in his life that I did not know about.

@Kardamom Yeah I think the real reason he acted like that was because he felt that I blew him up in such an important ocassion, which was not my intention, but I also think he was selfish and inmmature to have handled the situation in such way, nobody that is in a good relationship dissapears like that and finishes everything for some misunderstanding or misinterpretation of a text message, just my honest thoughts!, but as others said maybe there was more to the story that what my eyes could NOT see.

Trying to infer what people mean in written conversation, especially text messages, is never reliable and often leads to upsets and misunderstandings. Blaming the other person for problems based on only text-based communications seems to me like an attempt to avoid responsibility.

At the very least, you should try to talk to them with voice, preferably in person (as phone conversations can also have similar problems), as soon as it seems like there is an upset or misunderstanding, or you are acting without full information and without trying to increase the level of communication, and then blaming it on the other person.

If a relationship can be ended by text, you’re not very committed to the relationship and I expect it would be healthier to admit that and not try to make it about blame. It could also be interesting and useful to take an honest look at why you get into this sort of relationship and then treat it this way. It can’t be really about just the details of this text conversation – there are things behind it and those are what are worth giving attention to.

Don’t get involved with complicated/ambiguous people. You will never get a straight answer. You will never know what is going on.

Next relationship, ask questions, and be clear yourself.

@Kardamom I Agree, next time I will speak my mind out, I wont care how cute,or handsome he is,(which is not my type of man anyways) I attract more of the mysterious / normal looking man, and I like them a little bit older than me, but this one turned out to be for my personal opinion jut sooo ambiguous, just difficult to read, to even know what he was up to.(I don’t really know if this was just his character/personality, but I never liked it) the reason I did not break it off before was because at the beginning I was soo infatuated, beneath rain,sea and lighting I wanted to be with him,@zaku I don’t have much experience in relationships at my 28 years of age, so I was not very polished in the whole dating/boyfriend and girlfriend role.the dos and don’ts kinda thing.

Some people say act hard to get, others say look at this words and actions that will lead the way, wich I agree, a lot of people talk more than a parrot and don’t do anything!

The thing that really really bothered me, that actually drove me crazy, and could not figure out, was if he really wanted me genuinly and it was just his character/personality or if he was just passing time with me and he had some ulterior motives under his sleeves. Mixed signals are a bummer, cause its not clear it keeps you in the middle. and I am positive that there has to be something wrong with him in relationships,he told me he had all these girlfriends,and seriosuly by his age he never had a serious/commited relationship?!! at least planning to get married, that’s weird to me!.

@janbb @jca Btw isn’t this considered ’‘Ghosting’’, or was it more the fact that he Ghosted not just because of the sake of ’‘Ghosting’’ but because he got angry due to bad communication?

@butterfly_Wings I don’t know what ghosting is.

@jca @janbb UPDATE: Ok so yesterday I happened to go to the city that he lives in, it’s just, 40 minutes away from the town I live in, I went to do some blood test and medical check for a visa, and to to go to that hospital I had to go through the apartment he lives in, and I saw a big rent sign outside the apartment plaza that said we Rent,(cause he lives in a plaza where the apartment doors are outdoors,anyways I was not surprised cause to me he must have left some time ago, I called out of curiosity trying to be interested in an apartment of 1 room which is what my boyfriend had, and the landlord in charge, told me that he only he had to rent was a 2 bedroom and bathroom apartments fully equipped, and he said here we only rent to couples or students,so know I am wondering if he is still here. which is weird cause he told me he was leaving couples of weeks after he grad!!

should I tell the landlord, Like basically act as if my boyfriend was my friend and that he had told me about those apartments.just to see if he spills some beans whether he left or not? should I?

@butterfly_Wings: If I were you, I’d have a conversation with my boyfriend. “What happened with us?” That kind of thing.

You are making this way too complicated (and you are obsessing). If it’s really that important to you, call already. But like we’ve already said, he has moved on.

@jca @snowberry Yeah, the owner told me he was still living there, that he has not left, anyways I dont know the reasons he is still here, He told me he would run some errands before leaving basically just get some medical practice before her left,other than this or having another woman/girlfriend, other that that there’s actually no reason for him to sill be here, so he must be up to something.

All I can say is next time il try to be with a man thats not ambivalent/ambiguous, I cant tolerate that behavior, am way to sensitive for someone to keep me in lalaland.I hate passive agressive people.

Ok you want my honest opinion, I think you failed in communicating things the right way, il tell you way, I have read your post like 2 times to understand all of it because it does sound extremely convoluted to not say the least.I agree with @janbb this it’s all very weird, when he arrived that day he called you saying he was there and asked if you were ready ,,you told him No, and he told that in half an hour he would pass by, perfect, then 15 minutes after you had talked to him, you said you send him a text telling him ’‘we should see eachother better at night’’ (you see this text was just too abrupt and basically just sounds like a command) when you saw that he did not reply back you got impatient or mad and decided to send him another message: ’‘you know what forget it, don’t come, stop wasting my time, you are late”, Which to me was the ONE THAT TRIGGERED THE WHOLE THING’’ .

Small Review (Please OP read these 3 lines and think in an objective way)

1—) you agreed that you would go out with him ,but when he called,, you told him you needed time to get dressed and he told you Ok in half an hour I will be there.

2—) So 15 minutes after you had initially talked to him, you text him and change plans abruptly

3—) You got mad because he did not come, when you were the one who changed plans all of a sudden, so where are we? did you wanted him to come or not? and to put the cherry on top of the cake your last text says:’‘You know what forget it, don’t come, stop wasting my time, you are late”. OK late for what?? werent you the one who texted him saying that you wanted to see eachother better at night time? so why where you expecting him to come, plus after that message I assume he got so confused and angry that he interpreted it as a breakup for sure,and then never talked to you again. Take in consideration that this was your fault, you could have done things differently and gotten another result.

@butterfly_Wings: I don’t understand why, if you went out with the guy for three years, you are not either trying to get in touch just to have some closure, or knocking on his door to say hi and get some closure/clarity. It’s kind of odd to me that you went out for a pretty long time and then the whole thing just went poof and you’re avoiding him and he’s avoiding you, no discussion but not a fight either.

I highly Agree with @jca I don’t get all this drama you have going on, you were together for 3 years and everything was flushed down the toilet in less than a second. OP are you sure there wasn’t something else going on, where you guys having issues, was he acting differently? I think this is extremely ridiculous that you had a relationship of years and it just dissolved because of this issue (and you pardon me) but it’s just weird,I’m sorry but I feel that deep down inside either you were not truly in love with this person or you guys did not have a real relationship, just the way you behaved that day was odd from all angles possible.