Were you at one time not allowed to date because of studying/academic reasons -- or did you know anyone who was?
Some of us guys such as myself once tried asking out many potential girlfriends but actually dated only a few.
I remember once I had a crush on a girl who seemed quite shy as I myself was—and I told a friend of mine who happened to be this girl’s partner in a chemistry class. Needless to say, the friend told this girl of my feelings for her, against my wishes but for my benefit.
Surprisingly the girl was very nice and a little surprised but told my friend that she was not allowed to date anyone or didn’t want to date anyone until she finished high school or some other academic goal she had.
It really wasn’t the last time, either. I was interested in another girl once who expressed something similar. Several years later she was dating someone in college, however— a guy weirder than me, so I assume it wasn’t rejection.
As time goes by, and I am middle-aged, I wonder if this wasn’t just a nice way to turn me down because she just wasn’t into me. These girls from my past both eventually married, but didn’t date in high school—and both did very well in high school and college as far as grades and awards went.
Ah, just bittersweet nostalgia…
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10 Answers
It can be one way of turning down the proposal without hurting you. Were they involved with someone else? I haven’t come across with such a person. Someone can decide for themselves if they are willing to sacrifice their love for studies.
I wasn’t allowed to date untill I completed high school.
Nope, I was really boring in that regard. I dated three girls while in high school (not at the same time) and ended up marrying the third one nine years later. I also earned As and Bs pretty easily through HS, so that was never a concern.
There were two separate girls I knew in High School who said they didn’t date until after high school—both were honor society types (all A’s—a B would be a disgrace) As far as I know they didn’t date (until college)—one went to Georgetown, one to Rhodes)—both dated and married eventually
I did ask a girl out, and was told BY HER FATHER that her studies were not finished.
Nope, but I think you were surrounded by more conservative Christians than I was.
Plus, it might not have been true, it might have been an excuse to say no. Or, that might be the case in some situations anyway. Kind of blame the parents, so she doesn’t have to feel bad about saying no.
What would being a “conservative Christian” have to do with anything?
^^I’m thinking the more religiously conservative, the more likely the parents are strict regarding the whole dating thing. In general, but necessarily.
No, but I kind of did that to myself. I went to a small school and it seemed like a horribly impractical idea to actually be involved with anyone in middle or high school, both because of the difficult social “attention” we’d both get from everyone else, and having to then be in small classes with them after even making interest known. Also, I felt highly unprepared and like it would be highly unlikely to work out. I still think I was probably right about all of that, and the one attempt I made went rather badly, though I actually sort of wish I’d been a bit more open if mainly for curiosity’s sake.
I knew a girl in 4th & 5th grade who wasn’t even allowed to see Star Wars. Her parents were Swiss. I think there probably are parents with such rules, though I don’t specifically know of any cases.
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