What's the best way to save someone's life with a cucumber?

Hand them the cucumber with instructions to stand right there and ponder it until Trump is no longer in office.

WTF? You just whacked the guy, and now you want to bring him back? Make your mind up, already!

^All I have is cucumbers here ok… People need killing,and saving by cucumber. It just takes some imagination, creativity, and ingenuity.

When I worked in the emergency veterinary field, we had lots of tricks. I know that some EMS people use “spikes,” from IV bags, for emergency tracheostomy. The little ring even fits easily to most air/O2 tubes, for example…

You could shave/shape a cucumber down to a cylinder. Then drill a hole to make an ET tube. That could help resuscitate someone….

Swap your good cucumber with the poisoned cucumbers some of the cucurderers in the previous thread have prepared. Tadah! Unsuspected victumber saved by one cucumber from another.

For a sucking chest wound, carve it into a cork plug shape and insert into the wound to slow beeding, and allow for better breathing.

Make an awesome spaghetti and meat sauce for a hungry man.

Use it for cardiac compression or to plug a gaping flesh wound.

Strap it to yourself & do anal rudeness to the attacking gorilla…he may go ape shit but what a way to go.

They tell you it’s all too difficult and crazy.
They just can’t deal with it any longer.
They want to end it all.
Can they borrow your M9?
You give them a cucumber.

If the person is suffocating drill a hole through it and use ilt like an ET (endotracheal tube.)
Shove it into the barrel of the assassin’s gun.
In an emergency, slice it and use the slices to cover the wound if no sterile dressing is available. (Unopened newspaper is good for this as well.)
Freeze it an use as a club to disable or distract an attacker.

Make gazpacho to fight the desert heat.

Make cucumber sandwiches to distract a British terrorist.