Does having pictures of children from my past experiences as a camp counselor or director raise red flags about me?

P.S. — my name ‘Yellowdog” was a name I earned decades ago with a particular camp—many people know me as Yellowdog even now, That’s why I chose it for Askville and now Fluther.

52, single, pastor, and a collection of children’s photos?
Red flags all over, man.

It could be, depends on the context. I mean do you come off as creepy or odd? I don’t think we can answer this for you. If you’re fishing for a “not creepy” answer from us it would take more information than can be relayed through text.

What is it she says is creepy? The quantity? The location of the photos (for example, are they all over your house?)? What the kids are wearing?

Do you touch the photos lovingly while gazing into the distance and reminiscing about particular children?

It’s hard to answer this question without knowing what her issue is about the pictures.

People being what they are, SOMEONE is going to of course assume the worst. You can’t live your life through accommodating fools. Screw em!

Are they naked? Are they in compromising positions or poses? If not. your fears are nothing more than political correctness gone to the extreme. Again!

Hercule Poirot & Sherlock Holmes would be tripping over themselves to make you a prime suspect.
I mean, they’re fictitious of course…but still.

Your girlfriend doesn’t seem to be your friend.

To answer these questions—no, there is NOTHING odd or compromising about the photos. Most have been displayed on bulletin boards or to promote programs.

They are usually displayed in montages, arranged to evoke a sense of place, or what went on at the event, and to tell a story nonetheless. Some are of the places and have no people in them, and only about 1 in 5 focus on an individual. Most are small groups. Most are posed for a photograph but some photograph a certain moment.

I am not looking necessarily for a “not creepy’ affirmation. It could be argued that its creepy that these are not people I “currently” know—that I live in the past or collect photos of kids which could mean anything but people assume the worst.

Most pictures are meant to evoke the mood and atmosphere of the times themselves, the experiences (coming back from horseback riding, shooting a bulls eye, swimming in a river, a campfire scene, or eating ice cream).

Of course nowadays you can’t take pictures of other people’s kids because of decorum. But even then it was not what many people did and I did it anyway—documenting and commemorating many parties, camps, programs.

I don’t really live in the past so much as I see these as part of my identity and history. I like to remember these experiences and re-create the ambiance.

I am somewhat aimless in life right now with no real career goals. I have a masters degree, I can write. I’ve spent over a decade now taking care of other people’s needs and am on disability from being shot in a robbery (did I mention I live in Memphis?)—but could probably work again if I could find a job that paid a living wage and didn’t involve too much physical labor that would set back my recovery. Creepy? Well, I’m kind of eccentric—most of the movies I own are either horror movies or Christmas movies. I listen to music from the ‘70s and ‘80s and a lot of British pop music and all genres of folk music. I like old houses. I have many pictures of places such as old highways and small towns and people I met along the way. I am introverted but speak well.

Just want to know if this really seems odd or questionable to people

Only you can know what is in your heart. Perhaps you could share some of the pictures with us so we can get an idea of what kind of pictures they are.
Having worked with kids myself most of my adult life I can tell you it’s a slippery slope. Perhaps what she finds odd is that’s the only thing you have to show from your previous life. I find it odd that my husband has virtually no pictures of his kids growing up, but many of the various exotic big cats he’s had through the years, and racing.

I will see if I can get some scanned and linked— sorta unsure about posting pictures of other people. I’ll try to get where there;s technology today.

You could just take pics with your phone.

Stop encouraging him!

@Yellowdog, I don’t think you should share other people’s photos online without their permission.

I’ll come back to answer later.

I doubt that there is anything at all inappropriate in the photos that you have saved and displayed, at least based on what you’ve told us here. And I don’t want to qualify that statement any further than that; I’m sure everything is copacetic.

However, you’ve reminded me of a true story from my past, so …

When I went to college it was to a technical / engineering university within ten miles of my hometown, so I wasn’t the only person from my graduating class at my high school to attend that college, and I also wasn’t the only one to stay in a dorm on campus. So, nothing unusual there. When I attended this school it was soon after they had started admitting women “at all”, so there weren’t a lot of women on campus. Surely you’re reminded by now of the old saw that for women on campus to get a date, “the odds are good, but the goods are odd”, and that was true enough, I suppose. As freshmen we usually shared a room with at least one other, or in the larger suites, even more – and there were no coed rooms, so boys roomed with boys and girls with girls.

Anyway, a girl from my graduating class at high school struck up a relationship with some other freshman at the college, and it just so happened that her S/O was a roommate of another high school classmate of ours. That’s why, after my female former classmate had made her first visit to her boyfriend’s dorm room, she looked me up to tell me about it.

As it happened, this former classmate of ours had started hanging up Playboy centerfolds and various other magazine photos of nude models in the shared dorm room. There was at the time nothing particularly strange about this; I didn’t do it, but I knew a lot of guys who did. When his roommate made plans to bring his date to the room he requested that my former classmate put away the pinups, turn them to the wall or cover them up so as not to embarrass his date. His roommate agreed to cover them up.

And that’s what my female friend looked me up to tell me: He had covered them up by cutting out tiny little construction paper stick-on “swimsuit pieces” to cover the offending anatomical bits that were exposed in the photo. She told me that she had brothers, and she knew that they read Playboy, Penthouse and other skin mags, so she had seen all of this stuff, and it didn’t bother her in the least whether they were exposed or not. She would not have been bothered at all by “nudity” or even by “a lot of pinups in the room”. What she found terribly off-putting, though, was the time and effort that this guy had put into making “just so” cutouts and pasting them over the photos so that he could say truthfully that his dozens of photos were “covered”. That, she told me, had really creeped her out.

I don’t presume to judge people, particularly strangers on the net. If you’re on the level about the pics being just mementos of past experiences as a counselor, should be no prob. People may think it’s odd, but who gives a damn what they think? What I think is odd is that in a nation that is always sprouting off about freedom, freedom, freedom, people would presume to tell other people what they can or cannot decorate their own home with. Just my own not -so-humble opinion.

His girlfriend finds it odd.

It seems to me that you want to connect with a time in your life that you enjoyed and so you want to revisit those times through your photographs. That the photographs are images of children who are dressed or at worst some are wearing their bathers, does not bother me.

If the pictures are in montages situated all around your house, that seems like overkill. One noticeboard with your memories is fine, in multiple places does sound like too much. Not because they are pictures of kids, but because it would suggest you are too buried in your past. You’re spending too much time looking back and perhaps not spending enough time focusing on your future.

Can you cut the displays down to one that’s in your space? Do you have your own office or a place that you tend to spend time in on your own?

I agree. You should focus on your girlfriend and your future rather than photographs from the past. Keep the pictures by all means but don’t dwell on them too much.

I have to wonder about the “all over your house,” thing too. I don’t even have pictures of my own kids “all over the house,” just in my dining room.

You are at least helping me realize that it is indeed the fact that these are kids is what makes it odd. I am focusing on the events themselves and the places they were held—I rarely knew any of these kids more than a few months if even that long. The places, settings, and events are what I guess is the true rationale and purpose of these photos and montages.

A picture of Stephanie Fergus and Jackie Taylor in a canoe is to me more picture of what canoeing was like in 1986 at Rock and Fortress Campground—Most see it as a picture of two kids, albeit GIRLS—and question my character or what my relationship with them is—which is perfectly understandable. Now, to be sure, there were kids that were significant to me at such events—but usually my reason for displaying such pictures are not “who” the subjects are but what the setting is like (for artistic purposes) or because I like to remember the times.

I also don’t want to leave the impression that camp photos are all I have up—I have a lot of beach scenes and arrangements of buildings and architecture, Appalachian and wilderness scenes. I have pictures of adults mostly at folk music and folk dancing events—but the campground scenes where I was a camp counselor are probably the most numerous