Is Fluther eating its own?

What’s with this mysterious ” we.” I think “we” as a group get along quite swimmingly 95% of the time and you Jake are not above your own moments of petty pissiness. I may have my moments on occasion but I am not a grudge holder nor do I define the totality of a person based on a few conflictual encounters.
Fluther past has had plenty of conflict and disagreements and there were quite a few really combative types that are no longer around. It happens, mass amounts of people of varying personality styles and opinion converging under one cyber roof.

It’s human nature to be annoyed by others at times, and on the whole I think the fluther crowd here is quite a good group of peeps with little conflict. ‘We” rise above our conflicts by rising above them, and it is perfectly fine and okay to not like everyone nor have everyone like you. We’re big boys and girls, we can disagree and even dislike someone without it changing the fluther experience. You and I have our differences but I can certainly join in on a fluffy discussion of your favorite dessert even if your not my favorite Jelly.
Pick your poison comes to mind.

I understand your question as I have been asking myself the same sort of question for awhile now. I see long term members digging at each other relentlessly. Not just making their point once or twice, but over and over in the same thread. I have seen ganging up on a person, or jumping to a conclusion that a newbie is a troll, when in some cases I agree, but not in all cases.
Let me say that I have been known to dig at a person also, but I don’t think I have done so relentlessly. But, regardless, I think if we could all step back and try to be a little more kind to each other, maybe we could get newbies to stay.

Maybe we need to be a little more thick skinned, if we want to post our views and opinions on the web, not only here, but anywhere. Everybody in the world is not going to agree with us, nor would I want them to. If I wanted a group of ditto heads, I’d go find a group of Rush Limpballs sycophants.

@NomoreY_A Agreed. Some of us just aren’t that easily offended or more the direct type that don’t do well with hyper-senstive, emotionally fragile personality types and that can be problematic for the more fragile types. A common misperception that showing some irritation or exasperation means someone is the spawn of satan forever and always.

@chyna An occasional excursion into “relentlessness”, once in a blue moon, does not make one chronically relentless. I think everyone can be relentless at times when they are passionate about their position on an issue. This is exactly WHY conflict can arise.

I’m really hoping we can have a discussion.

@Coloma Was it really necessary to begin by attacking me personally? “Petty pissiness”? By beginning with a personal attack, do you realize how petty that makes you? I am more than willing to own my shit. I think this question demonstrates it. Can we move on?

@NomoreY_A It takes a great deal more courage to be open and vulnerable than it does to have thick skin. Being open means I allow you to see the real me. It requires me to be secure in my self. Thick skin is a defense that allows me to hide.

@chyna I am grateful that you have seen what I see.

@all I hope we can discuss this. I truly hope this is not about @Hawaii_Jake.

@all I had a communication class back in college a million years ago. I remember very little, but I remember we studied some things about group dynamics. Our group here at Fluther is quite frankly at a stage when the members begin to turn on each other. It happens as a group ages and doesn’t have much new blood entering it. It can go on a few different ways.

1. A miracle could happen, and we could start to get a lot of new blood.
2. The group could die.
3. The group could move past the personalities and work together to grow into something more than the individuals.

While I would like to see Fluther continue and thrive, ultimately I don’t really care. I will have a good life with or without this site.

@Hawaii_Jake Well you see, there you have it, taking a true statement and defining it as a “personal attack.” Truth is never personal, it is just truth. This is where things go south for some, when a matter of fact remark is absorbed as an attack. This happens a lot IRL too, especially in certain relationships. One persons direct approach is always taken as a confrontational attack. It’s a fucking wonder anyone can get along for more than 5 minutes when that dynamic shows up. haha

The overly sensitive and the more tough minded are bound to bump heads at times, like oil and water but oil and water are not bad, wrong or anything other than not a good blend.
Okay great, you can own your shit, well then my comment should not be taken offensively. That did not make me “petty” in any way, shape or form, because you seem to see yourself as above it all on occasion and simply pointing out that nobody is above it all is not petty. Also, thick skin is not always a defense, it is often, as in my case, and others here, a reflection of a strong and secure person who, if anything, finds themselves impatient with having to handle others with kid gloves, so careful with the blanket statements as there is no one size fits all.

Regardless, I agree, lets move on. Peace

Fluther is a walk in the park compared to some groups on FB. I’m in groups that consist of local parents and groups of other diverse topics (historic mansions for example) and the people just go at each other over the tiniest little thing. In the case of the local parents’ group, I think to myself that these people are going to be seeing each other at the school parking lot or on the sidelines of the ball field, yet it doesn’t stop them from being snarky and snippy to each other.

I ususally remember when stuff happens on here, and I remember one of the people on this thread being nasty to me. I asked a question and his or her response was “why do you need this information?” I defended myself in what I feel is a diplomatic manner. A month or two after that, someone else asked a very similar question and the response from this same Jelly was “hugs to you.” I pointed out the hypocrisy of the Jelly’s answer compared to the same question that I asked and I got nowhere, when all I was looking for was an explanation. I find it ironic that people who live in glass houses choose to throw stones.

In addition to the above, I agree with @Coloma.

Oh good, yes, let’s use this thread to air out what we all hate about each other. That’ll be productive.

@Hawaii_Jake, Good question. My take is that what we have here is a microcosm of our current society. People have started getting way to touchy and reactive over little things in real life, so why not on comment pages? We all have opinions and it is a guaranteed fact that no two people will agree on everything all the time. But people have started losing the ability to deal with differing opinions without taking them as personal affronts. I guess I must have a thicker skin than most. I don’t get offended if someone disagrees with me or even if they feel it necessary to take pot shots at me on these pages. Though I do confess to sometimes getting a little feisty and purposely prodding someone ;-)

I can see that this is actually working out to be a very good demonstration of why I asked the question.

@seawulf575 You make a good point. We have lost civil discourse. It seems to have devolved into some kind of animalistic fight to the finish. I have to win at all costs. My opponent must be utterly debased. That is not civil discussion. It’s childish.

Fluther is comprised of individuals and individuals that have many different personality styles and perspectives. When an individual has one or two heated exchanges over a very lengthy time period it does not make said individual part of some erroneous “we” lumped under the umbrella of civil discourse. It’s human nature to remember the bad more so than the good but I think its really important to look at the big picture and not get stuck on one or two exasperating encounters.
I know, speaking for myself, I have had about 3 intense interactions here in over a 7 yr. period of membership, the most recent that caused such an uproar was the first time in YEARS that I let it fly from sheer exasperation. The other couple events were waaay back in the first couple years of my participation here.

I think we need to look at the individuals long term track record before we start making sweeping statements about the entire fluther community.
Again, there is no we, there are individuals that comprise the whole not the whole comprising the individual.

Since there are a bunch of individuals all participating on the same site, it seems obvious to me that we are a group. This is arguing semantics perhaps.

I think the discussion can go on very well from here. We’ve had a good bit of diverse posts. I hope for more.

^ Agreed, and yes, a group, but a group of individuals. Anytime you have a group of individuals that interacts together on a near daily basis, be that co-workers, families, friends, siblings, some conflict will occur, I still think that in general, we are a very decent group with minimal conflict all things considered.

^I hope more people will echo your assertion that in general we have minimal conflict. I will amend my thinking, if that’s proved true.

What brought this on? I thought this to be a particilarly tranquil spark free interlude lasting weeks on end. I can’t remember a truly heated fluther fight since the forced retirement of the legendary HC.

@stanleybmanly It’s not one particular incident for me. It’s been building for some months actually.

@Mariah I’m not a hater, I don’t even know you folks well enough to form an opinion one way or another, even if I were. I’m just here to have some fun and read some good Q&A’s, and post a few ideas of my own. If people like what I have to say, then great. If they disagree, that’s cool too. Even if they hate my guts, no sweat off my bums. I suspect the sun will still rise in the morning, and my life will continue pretty much as usual. Don’t see myself crying in my coffee because a few strangers on the Net don’t care for me. Not trying to be ugly, just sayin’.

Things seem pretty much the same to me as they always have. One man’s personal attack is another man’s idea of pointing out a fact.

There were different people around here when I started that got angry and left, then some new people came along. Some of the old timers from way back then are still here. Some of the people are the same, some of the people are different. Some of the topics that are considered “hot buttons” one day, are not the next day (or year).

Arguing happens when people can’t see eye to eye, no matter what information is presented. There’s nothing different about that, than there was 10 years ago, 2 years ago, or 10 hours ago.

as jonsblond Hey, I’m only doing what @Coloma told me to do. I’m taking shit seriously and not sharing my hard times with Fluther, except for this very second or two that it takes me to type this. I’m going back to the counselor now where I should be. bye.

I’ve wondered about this myself, as well. I’ve also worried about whether, and in what ways, I’ve contributed to this shift in tone in the community—and how I can try and fix it. I’m not sure I know, entirely… I’ve been trying… and probably making missteps along the way. I hope this thread can help me figure out some answers.

It certainly feels like conversations turn sour or ill-spirited more quickly and more easily now. And I know that it’s not every conversation now, and I know that some conversations would get contentious before. I’m just saying that I (also) feel that the balance has shifted, at least somewhat, and I’m trying to figure out what’s causing me to think that…

I remember seeing a contrast, recently, between an older conversation (several years old) and a more recent conversation on the same subject. In both questions, some number of people offered human stupidity as an answer to the question. In the older question, many other jellies pushed back on that sentiment. They said things to the effect that the situation was more complicated or nuanced than that, and that maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to judge… I don’t remember seeing as much of that same “pushback” in the newer conversation. I remember seeing more people jumping onto the “Yes! People are dumb!” idea… Given the current political atmosphere I find myself in, I feel myself wanting to answer many things with that kind of “well they’re idiots!” answer, too… But it’s not really a productive way to understand “those” people that are the focus of whatever the question may be… nor is it ever going to be a particularly accurate or astute analysis…

I’m not sure I’m totally sure what I’m saying or how to say it. And I don’t have answers. But I’m not sure I would agree that I’m simply being thin-skinned for also wondering if there’s something we could try to do as a community to have more inclusive—and thereby more dynamic, controversial, yet productive—discussions?

Change starts from within. I don’t see that much discourse. It was worse before. I also have been here since 2009 and remember many heated conversation. I just learned to avoid emotion based questions that are more prone heated exchange.

You can’t change others but if you change how you approach things than people have no way of exchanging unwanted behavior. Once in a while I may get someone gets a little nasty (usually on politics) but either I ignore them, or they get reported (which I’ve only maybe done twice in all these years) or I reply and try to explain if I feel there was a misunderstanding of what I said. I’ll even PM them so that they can see that I’m not trying to make them look bad if it was a misunderstanding.

If I say something that seems callus and hurt someone because it hit close to home, then I will apologize sincerely and explain that it may be something that didn’t occur to me. Once in a blue moon I may say something harsh because of my own personal experience but I never mean that my personal findings apply to all.

Like my first sentence may be offensive to you. You may see it as a judgement of you. But I really don’t mean it that way. It’s just my personal experience that most times people get back what they put out. If you are getting a lot of negative feed back then I suggest your go over things you have said and see how you could’ve avoided these confrontations.
That is what I do. It works for me.

I get by by avoiding putting too much emotion into my posts. Unless it’s the chatroom or a game thread, I make a point of following exactly what the question is about, stating opinions with evidence and that’s it. If someone disagrees, I have two options: prove my point or back out if I feel that my emotion is getting better of me. I’m quite a noisy, over-the-top bitch elsewhere, but not in a discussion. I try to stay as cold as possible.

Another rule I keep in mind: unless I have something with substance to say, don’t say anything at all. I try not to make myself sound pissy, and I try to find words that aren’t too direct (like instead of “you are being an asshole here”, I go for “you are not acting appropriate here”)

But then again I’m from a culture where not hurting people’s feeling is more important than showing opinions. I admit that the self-censoring makes me express lots of important opinion and involve in discussion less than I should, but sometimes it’s better that way.

See @Coloma, you couldn’t be the bigger person and leave what Jonsblond said alone. You had to have the last word knowing it would hurt her. I think things like that is what @Hawaii_Jake is talking about.

Seems I’m back at Y!A after all. Regular old home day.

I read something on the internet lately that said something along the lines of, when someone says you hurt them, you don’t get to say “no I didn’t.” I think that raises a good point. When someone points out that you either hurt them personally or that you are perpetuating a stereotype about a group they belong to, it seems like a common response these days is to call that person oversensitive. “Oversensitive,” I’m learning, is a way to dismiss someone’s viewpoint or invalidate them. This is the same as saying “No I didn’t.” These arguments would go much better if instead of pushing back in that manner, people just apologized and moved on. I’m not saying I’m innocent of this, I can even think of specific times that I did exactly what I’m arguing against here, but I’m trying to get better about it and I think the community would be a better place if we all tried to improve. Not one of us here is perfect and has no room for improvement.

The “oversensitive” argument really bothers me too because I find it is often applied to people with regards to specific topics that they’re particularly passionate about. To give a concrete example, I’ve been told I’m oversensitive about healthcare or treatment of people with disabilities. The thing that really bothers me about this…I’m trying to figure out how to put it into words…we each have our “thing,” right? Something that has been a big part of our lives, that we’re experienced in, that we’ve become passionate about. That’s kind of what Fluther’s all about, isn’t it? “Everyone’s an expert”? And to then come in and say that we can’t listen to this person about this topic because they’re too invested in it and they’ve become “oversensitive” seems like… we’re just writing off someone’s lifetime of experience with something. When that person is exactly who we should be listening to about that topic, because they’ve been there and they know. When someone says I’m oversensitive about healthcare, I wonder if that person has ever been sick – maybe they’re just not sensitive to it at all because it’s not a part of their life. Is that person more qualified to give an opinion on that topic than I am? One could argue that they’re able to be more objective, but I don’t consider ignorance (which here means lack of experience with a topic) a virtue or something that makes someone more qualified to speak and hold an opinion on that topic.

I dunno man. Just spitballing.

@Mariah I tend to disagree with you to a point. I agree that if I say something that hurts your feelings and you tell me, for me to say “No I didn’t” is foolish…I don’t know your feelings. However sometimes when people say No I didn’t, I wonder if they are really saying “That wasn’t my goal”. There are crass, uncaring people that speak without thinking that can hurt others with their words. But everyone has different opinions and some of those opinions hurt others. Example: there were all sorts of examples on the internet where just the mention of Trump winning the presidency brought others to tears. And there are movements going on to try suppressing people’s right to free speech based on how the listener reacts to what is said. And THAT is foolish. I could say “I like Trump” and offend quite a few people. But I could say “I like Hillary” and offend others. I am left with an inability to state an opinion on a basic topic. You hear comments about “hate speech”. So who actually gets to decide what is considered “hate speech”? And what is the definition based on? When people voice an opinion that others find offensive there are a number of options. You can understand what that sort of statement says about the person saying it. You can tell the person that you are offended. Or you can walk away and chalk it up to people being different. But the right to free speech needs to be inviolate.

I think people have just stopped caring how they come across. The niceties are over, they’ve aired their opinions, and in the spirit of being true to themselves, they won’t take anything less. They’re not here to make friends, right?

So they’re here to… what? It’s different for everyone, but I think the answers for many aren’t what they were originally. Sometimes it’s fun to stir the pot I guess, but should this really be your proving ground?

For me, limiting myself to two responses on a question really helps when I can pull it off. Anything beyond that I try to see if it is actually important to me. Sometimes it is, sometimes it is not. I think the problems come when there’s just too much closed conversation and the community as a whole is driven out by a few.

Thank you, all! There are some very thoughtful answers in this thread, and this type of discussion is precisely why I asked this question.

For better or worse, Fluther is not an ordinary website. It really is something just a little bit more. First, it’s hard to find. The numbers prove this really is quite small. We simply don’t get a lot of new members. It’s a fact. Next, since it’s small, this has become a type of community. What has been bothering me lately is that this little community is experiencing a kind of change that – to me – is not healthy. The change is for the negative.

If the community makes the collective choice that it wants to go down that road, then that’s fine. I will choose then whether or not I want to participate. However, I asked this question to find out if I’m the only one thinking this way. I’m not. Others are also concerned with the tone of our community.

I am very grateful for each and every member who is participating in this discussion. I am also grateful for the ones who are only reading and sending me PMs. That’s another reason I asked this question. The vast majority of people will not discuss it when they dislike a service. They will simply walk away and not return. I’m hoping this discussion will help those members, too.

I hope this discussion continues. We’ll see. I don’t know how it’s going to develop.

@Hawaii_Jake Really I don’t come on as often because in 8 years, a lot of the questions tend to repeat. And some I either don’t know the answer or are questions that don’t interest me.

I think we get along pretty well. It would be good to get more new good people using the site. I also agree with the positive suggestions for good behavior towards each other and welcoming behavior to new people.

I think we could get more new people if we spent some time on other sites and mentioned this place, especially in the context of how the community is pretty smart and friendly and actually gets into some interesting discussions. That’s how I ended up here, when GailCalled mentioned it to me back in 2007 – in a forum on Craigslist of all places. I don’t think I’ve been back to Craigslist forums since, but I do sometimes visit other dysfunctional forums and could recommend Fluther to interesting-seeming people there.

Oh, and I think the heatedness I’ve seen here tends mostly to be a reflection of the heatedness in recent politics, which after all have gotten pretty divisive.

Other sites? It’s a desert out there.

I agree with funkdaddy. Generally, if I’ve posted a couple of times on a thread, it’s time to get off and let someone else have a say.

Clearly this site needs a new separate section, called “safe space”.

I swear, it’s remarkable that this thread manages to brew up a storm vindicating in full @Hawaii Jake ‘s initial assertion. It might be instructive to review the transcript of this little scuffle as a lesson on the elevation of opinions to personal insults.

Hmm…I have a few comments.

When fluther had a lot of members things still got heated, but the animosity, thick-skulled bullying and straight up judging was not what it is today. Maybe it’s the size of the group, or group dynamics that occur when a group of individuals spend a lot of time together. Mostly, I think it’s certain personality types that are allowed to run rampant until the mods absolutely have to step in. In other words, bad behavior is tolerated until it’s too blatant to let go. And though no one wants to blame the mods, this is their territory.

And speaking of mods…of the few we have, some just shouldn’t be mods. A few have expressed very strong ties to certain members and certain opinions and their modding, or lack there of, betrays their biases. Some members are never modded or reprimanded even though they are blatantly abusing other members and not following the guidelines. Soon others think the behavior is accepted and others begin to bend or break the guidelines. This leads to the clusterfucks like we have seen recently. As someone who has worked with groups in a mental health setting, I know how one or two people can bring the whole group down.

Fluther was rather calm for the past few weeks and now it seems like this cycle is once again rearing its ugly head. Maybe fluther is just past its prime and is slowly dying because of lack of civility and compassion (which I myself have been really working hard on). Seems like fluther is echoing the world at the moment.

There are also people who really need to learn to ignore others. If you do not like what a member has to say, ignore them. Do you really care what they think anyway? Some people are just not worth it. There a few members whose posts I just skip over. I won’t waste my time on people’s opinions I care nothing about.

Maybe we need more/different mods. Maybe some members need to be banned. Maybe some members just need a thicker skin. There is no easy answer.

And yes, sometimes I do think we are eating our own, and not in the good way. ;)

p.s. Maybe we need to limit members’ posts to 3 in a thread.

Wow @tinyfaery I think you nailed it.

I have been avoiding posting here, because I would be a shining example of @Hawaii_Jake‘s original premise. I agree with a number of points raised here, and I think @seawulf575‘s original post applies to me. I have been extra stressed and on edge since November 9, it has affected my general outlook on life, my health, and a number of relationships of mine, all for the worse.
Regarding some issues, I don’t have a “thick skin” and I feel it would diminish me personally to grow one. Very few things said here offend me, but I have little patience with some users who tend to insist that their thoughts are the only thoughts, no matter how ill informed they may be. Fortunately, there are relatively few of those, but the added irritant sets me off.
We need (myself included) to be kinder. There are a few here that I have never seen be petty or snarky, I would suggest we try to emulate them a little more.

@all And this is a very good example of my reason for asking this question.

Should I ask another question?

“Would you like to see the truth to the old adage ‘One bad apple spoils the barrel’?”

I think the one question was sufficient. I am still perplexed as to why the antagonism ramped up so quickly. But all in all, this really isn’t all that bad. All of us have our bad apple days. The barrel will be just fine

I’m sorry to come in late to this discussion.

Every time someone insults ME, I check if I’ve been insulted that way before. If I have, I tell ‘em it won’t count unless they come up with something more original. If it was original, I stick it up on my profile. Reading all that nonsense is really rather funny, and it’s clear none of those comments have anything to do with who I really am.

Hey, it works! And it makes me laugh.

I think the biggest problem is whether we can still be friends after a heated disagreement. I’ve seen people who I couldn’t stand at first turn out to be great friends and people I liked become unpleasant to be around, and it teaches me that a single disagreement isn’t enough to judge someone. Unless there is a pattern of their “bad” behavior, I try to give people a chance. After all you can’t be for sure who a person will turn out to be in the long run.

Another rule I keep in mind is not to bring up past issue into a discussion, unless it’s relevant to the topic. An issue is to add substance to the discussion, not to make someone feel bad. I learned a brief lesson about negotiation in college, and one rule of negotiation: separate personal issues from substantial issue. It works for me. I can make sure at least I don’t come out as attacking someone.

You guys can continue this discussion, but my advice is: don’t get too emotionally involved. Or if you feel your head is too hot, I suggest you back out for a little while. Here and here are something for everyone to cool down a bit :)

We arrive in this room toting our demons with us. It’s easy to be logical, detatched, even objective while watching a storm build, as long as it isn’t blowing your way. To my mind, the only thing required for harsh words is the arrival of any 2 of us to this room in a foul mood. It happens, it ends, and we roll along. Or we should.

@stanleybmanly Your point is well taken but there are some who seem to always come out swinging or who always provoke arguments. It is they who damage Fluther the most.

Oy… this.

I recognize all this silliness, and have certainly gotten into it with a few Jellies, but I gotta say, when I log into the lagoon each day, it’s like my personal Groundhog Day.

I forget about the drama, who was argumentative, who was hurt, etc.

This joint is supposed to be a relief from the dramas of real life. Can’t be that if we’re dragging around a Marley-sized chain or jumbo chip on our shoulders every day.

Also, the snarky comments are (almost) always a reflection of the person making the attack rather than their target. It really helps to keep things in perspective!

I feel like we have to ask questions like this a lot lately. I don’t know, I’m here infrequently, and I’m never ever leaving (sorz haters) so I just can’t get bogged down in the drama that goes on here. It doesn’t affect my choice to post here or not. I do think that when people get used to each other, they start to become more aware of the things about those people that bother them and we suffer from a bit of “cabin fever”. That happened to me when I started living with my best friend. I still love him, though.

I would love to see more users, and we do have a tendency to jump down new users’ throats (this is a problem on other sites I’m a member of too). We need to be a little more tolerant of new members who aren’t familiar with the “etiquette” around here if we want new people to stay. More users means more interactions in general, less interactions with people who annoy us, more variety of discussion. Like, we all know who’s liberal here, who’s conservative, who’s atheist, who’s Christian, who always posts about the environment, who always posts about vaccines, we know what X user will say about Trump, we know what Y user will say about a mass shooting…I feel like we’re all just playing roles sometimes. As a gay millennial moderate who always edits his posts 10,000 times, I guess I’ll go be gay and millennial and moderate in some threads now and edit my responses 10,000 times :) Peace.

I’ve joined another answer site which I am thoroughly enjoying.

My main reason for joining Fluther was to answer questions. I really wasn’t into vicious debates which at times degenerated into personal attacks, fight-to-the-death arguments, I just wanted to answer the question. The original question was often lost in the arguments that ensued. So, yes, I agree.

The pond is small and will stay that way since time has told a story I think? There are far too many Q&A sites that are far superior in many ways to the format here in terms of actually sticking to the point of the question and getting a good answer, often from a qualified source in the area, one is asking about. Instead of ‘Well, I think this or that’ when really most people don’t have a clue about that particular topic.
I come here to say hello to dear friends and people I have known for some years now and probably will answer a question or two now and then, but really in my mind, this site is for the most part for particular people that enjoy a certain type of answer environment and that portion is small, so it will stay small for that reason.
I don’t enjoy heated debates I am happy if people disagree but I won’t tolerate rudeness. Simply because I don’t have to.

@LornaLove: What are some other good answer sites?

Quora would be the big site in the space… quora.com

Most others tend to be set up around a specialty or interest, (like stackexchange.com sites) but Quora covers a bit of everything. One cool way to check it out is to sign up for their digest that’s sent out via email. It learns about your interests over time and sends questions and answers you might be interested in (kind of like fluther used to).

Not trying to lead people away, it’s a totally different set of uses than fluther, now.

Fluther has jumped the shark

I think Quora demands that you use your real name. Not a good idea for most of us who value anonymity. Anonymity is important to be able to discuss topics of a personal, or sensitive matter.

Also, I think Quora is geared more toward scientific information (which is wonderful, and I appreciate that) but I think Fluther is geared more to a whole bunch of stuff, including scientific information, but also personal, and frivolous, and emotional, and spiritual, and comedic, and stuff about our pets, and our phobias, and our preferences, and our sexuality, and our politics, and our taste, and distaste in food, and our ideas about love, and friendship, and advice about children, and co-workers, and school bullies, and milestone parties, and members who have passed away, and cats who keep in touch, and a million other things.

We might be a small community. We might have our differences. But we are unique, and wonderful, and grand.

Quora covers every conceivable topic under the sun. I’m a member there, too, and enjoy it a great deal.

I’ve used Quora as a resource to get answers to technical linguistics questions (not something I could do on Fluther), but I didn’t really get a sense of “community” there if that’s what you’re looking for.

There’s a page on FB that’s based around the NY Times column “Social Q’s.” Social Q’s in the TImes will feature a few dilemmas and then comment on them. In the FB column, they’ll feature the dilemmas from the Times and then FB members will comment further. Also, anybody who’s a member of the group is free to post any other dilemma or issue that they have and everyone can comment. So it’s not like Fluther in that you will be discussing any type of issue, but a social dilemma or etiquette question is the type of thing they’d discuss.