Do you have people around you who are always negative?

LOL. Not for long. Not long at all.

Yes. Yes YES! We call him “Joe” . He is a machinist. If he walks up to you can justifiably start to cringe because you know the next words will be cringeworthy.

I’ve got dozens but here’s the most recent. I will shorten it
He went to the bank.
He does not want to get door dings on is (old by the way) car so he parks across the divider in the road and walks across the small island to the bank.
The bank teller see him parking in the strange spot, aiming out and watches him walk across the island slowly into the bank.
Another teller sees it too, thinks his actions are suspicious, positioning the car for a fast getaway, and calls the police.
They arrive in seconds encircling his car so he cannot escape.
Everyone recognizes it as a false alarm and he is let go.
“See? Ya’ see? See how people are?”

Ok one more.
He went to a community, charity dinner while sick with some contagious disease. (I forget which one. Let’s say “whooping cough”).
He was making such a disturbance they asked him to leave. Think about that. He was asked to leave a charity dinner!
“See? Ya’ see? See how people are?”

Ugh! I try to avoid him at all costs. (But he is a great machinist.)

thHe was e .

^ I wrote that in the middle of the night and missed editing. Sorry.

Too many to name sadly. The type of people where you immediately regret asking, “How are you today?” The type of people who, after talking with them for ten minutes, I want to jump off a bridge or out a window. The type of people who spending any real amount of time with them will put me in a funk for the rest of the day.

I try to avoid these people as much as I can and dream of a day when I can be free of them.

Right now I have one friend who has become very negative. She is under a lot of stress.

Yesterday, I spent a few hours with her, and she honestly is practically incoherent. She said things that made no sense. She’s so negative, and so afraid, she can’t listen to reason. I have some empathy for her, because I was in a lot of turmoil for a few years there, and people kept telling me I was very negative. Thing is, I could compartmentalize it. When I was venting I did sound negative, but I could switch it off, and be in the moment when I was somewhere that I should be having fun. I could focus on the enjoyable moments. She can’t do it. Not now. Hopefully, it will change.

@JLeslie makes a good point. As draining as some of these people are, their state of mind is sometimes temporary and I try to have empathy for them. Particularly, if they are active in trying to change their plight.

Then, of course, there’s the chronic negative nellys whos gloom and doom are constant, regardless of circumstance.

Yes, I have a friend who is always negative. And he thinks that I’m the negative one! ( I keep telling him that I’m not negative, just realistic.)

I hate to say it, but the most negative people in my life right now are found on this site. It’s filled with eeyores, people afraid of their own shadows, people who live without hope, people who are depressed, people who can’t find a silver lining anywhere in their lives, people who won’t take their one and only opportunity to live life to their potential, people who feel unfullfilled, people who fear taking the merest risk, people who are emotionally paralysed. They are intelligent, well equipt people with gifts far beyond other people, and they have problems with self-esteem and confidence. It is sometimes hard to watch. But there it is.

^^ I’d sadly have to concur with @Espiritus_Corvus. In real life, I don’t surround myself with negative people. I tend to avoid those who constantly complain without good reason. I’m happy to listen to someone who is going through a hard time and I’ll help where I can, but if I start to feel their problems are self-made and they are refusing to do anything to bring about some change, I’ll back away and leave them to it. I really don’t have the time or patience for negativity and people who have forgotten how to see the joy in life.

At my wife’s 40th high school reunion in New York, I noticed a guy sitting at a table alone with his head in his hand, looking very disenchanted. I felt sorry for him and suggested to my wife that we go over and chat with him. I think she knew better, but said OK anyway.

The guy immediately began ranting and bitching that all of these people sucked in high school, and how they all STILL sucked…..and that he “traveled all this way….for THIS ??......and “That Laura Etterman thinks she’s Mariah Carey….but she’s NOT !!”

This rambling and arm-waving went on without pause, so after maybe ten minutes I pretended to need the restroom, and never came back. Across the room, I could see this guy bitching and moaning about everyone to somebody else.

My wife said he was exactly that way in high school too, and had few (if any) friends.

So I guess it’s safe to say that some people are habitual moaners and groaners for their entire lives.

P.S. To this day, every time I see a photo of Mariah Carey, it makes me laugh….

@Kardamom Not for too long. I usually leave.