How do you form a group of friends?

Welcome to Fluther.

I see that at least two other people before me have marked this as a Great Question, and I agree. So if you don’t mind – which is just a figure of speech, after all, because it doesn’t matter whether you do or not – I’m going to follow the thread and see if I can learn any pointers, because I’ve been wondering the same thing. And I’m told that it’s never too late to learn a new skill, so let’s see what comes of this question.

I sure don’t have an answer for you, though.

Your friends aren’t as great as you think. They’re a clique. And they appear to have obscure and undefined requirements for admission. IMO you’re better off without them, because although they may have some things going for them, they don’t seem to have much integrity. Integrity is a very valuable attribute in any relationship. Cliques never have integrity.

As for finding a group of friends who will value you, good luck. I’m fortunate to find one person here or there with integrity.

After my Ex and I split up, I kept many of my old friends but also needed to make a new circle of single friends. I love walking and found a singles walking group on meetup.com to join. From there, I made a whole circle of new friends with whom to do things such as concerts, festivals and walks. We don’t even walk with the club much any more. It sounds like you’re in high school; maybe find an additional activity to marchung band. Yearbook? Drama club?

The only people I regard as friends are those that I shared important life experiences with. A clique does not count. To this day the people I still have contact with were in scouting with me, I played in musical groups with or had otherwise been associated with those or some other adventure. You really get to know people in this way. As an adult it’s through work. Same thing applies, working through huge projects that were meaningfull or went totally right or wrong. If you choose your adventures carefully you will find like minded people to be your friends.

Trust me, young Ryan, as you grow older you will become much more adept at identifying true friends vs. some of the thoughtless nitwits you bump into today, and are trying to be “friends” with just because they happen to be your age (and maybe sit behind you in Science class).

Your life has yet to begin. Chances are, it’s going to turn out great.

And @snowberry is right. You must be patient, and discerning. I am an old, retired fart who worked for decades in the business world. After all that time, I have only two really great friends, both of whom I would lay down my life for….and I’m pretty certain they would do the same for me…..

I also don’t know, but am interested in learning how.

Well, (I’m pretty sure that) I like you, @RedDeerGuy1 , so ‘Square One’ seems to be already covered.

Do you like playing guitars ? Writing original songs ? Buttered popcorn (popped in oil, not that wimpy microwave crap) ?? Afternoon naps ? (not together, you understand). ‘Twilight Zone’ reruns ?? Detest Trump ?? Think Bill Burr is hilarious ??

If you answered ‘yes’ to all of the above, there you go…..Square Two…..

See ?....It’s not that difficult…...

P.S. Country music is out…. I’m sorry, that’s a deal-breaker…...

@PullMyFinger I’m for naps between 9pm and 4 pm. When nothing on tv. I like strumming with a guitar when I can borrow one.

@RedDeerGuy1 I have a few damn-fine guitars, so that’s covered. Also a 16-track recorder which I can use to dub you into sounding like a WAY better player than you actually are (I do that for myself all the time).

And ‘naps between 9pm and 4pm’ says that there are only about 5 hours each day when you don’t consider napping.

Sounds like we’re off to a damn-fine “friendship” start to me…..

@RedDeerGuy1 @PullMyFinger I’m not mad or anything but please keep the casual talk out of this answer section because I’m looking for answers to this question and when I log on to see that I have another few answers to read, I get excited to read and try to understand your answers….......... until I realize that 3 of the answers are about playing the guitar and napping.

Well, I’m glad you aren’t mad, Ryan. Life is too short.

For future reference (and I can see that you are new here), it is a good idea to ask questions needing ‘less-casual’ responses in the ‘General’ category.

Had you done that here, the moderators would’ve redacted RedDeerGuy’s and my conversation, most likely before you even saw it…..

Anyway, I thought that RDG and I were demonstrating for you how to go about cultivating some new friends.

(Watch and learn, grasshopper….)