What kind of relationship did you have with your father?

Do you wanna know how I got these scars?

He and my mother are still happily married, they never fought and akways madevsure we had what we needed. As a kid he was my father and not “my friend” meaning when I needed discipline I got it. When praise was deserved I got it. As an adult we are close. He was basically a jackpot for a dad.

My father was a bit difficult to grow up with. He was a military officer and ran the household the same way. For example, he would say: “I gave you an order.” (Sorry, Dad, I never signed up.) On the other hand, he was smart and funny. He took us on Sunday outings to interesting places (mandatory attendance). He had rages, which were not fun. Often, publicly, which were embarrassing. I loved him, but for a while carried a lot of anger toward him. I have forgiven him now. He died very young: 54.

My parents have been married for almost 32 years. My dad was an excellent father to us four kids. My dad has always been extremely supportive, he had no issues whatsoever with my coming out as gay, he has always been very proud of me. As a kid, he worked a demanding job (he’s retired now), so there’s no doubt that I saw less of him and more of my mom, but I was still able to be close to him—he and I connect on an intellectual level and share many of the same interests and read many of the same books. I can talk to him for hours without getting bored. He’s a mild-mannered person, always has been, almost never raised his voice, and without him I would not be who I am today, that’s for sure.

My dad is the shit. He has always had such integrity and had a “lead by example” philosophy to raising us. He’s made so many sacrifices for me and I know there’s no way I could possibly repay him for that. He stayed at jobs he hated for years longer than he should have just to ensure I wouldn’t lose health insurance. Around Christmas time last year I was hopped up on pain meds and I got to thinking about what all he’s done for me and I got so guilty feeling that I tried to send him money but he wouldn’t take it.

My parents are still together. My mom doesn’t have much patience for him. He is very annoying. Doesn’t ever shut up.

In my childhood he was great in some ways and not so great in others.

Lots of screaming in my household. He insisted my mom make a good dinner every night, and some nights she was exhausted. I’d say a lot of people would say he was verbally abusive.

He was working on his PhD and working full time when I was little, so I remember him at the typewriter a lot. I remember doing many fun things like going sledding in the winter, and going swimming in the summer.

He was quite needy. He desperately wanted a close family. I felt like pressure. It’s still the case.

I’m 26 and my relationship with him has always been weird. When we get along, we get along extremely well. But both of us are prone to anger and anxiety issues when under stress, which isn’t particularly good considering we own a family business together. To a stranger it might seem like we completely hate each other during our heated interactions, but in reality we completely forget about it and hold absolutely no grudges.