It means that you must be bold in life, or it is doubtful you will get the things you want—the classes you want in a competitive school, the career you want, the job you want, the date or mate you want… It is a warning that things will rarely come to the passive. But it doesn’t mean one must be obnoxiously aggressive. It just means that passivity in these things is rarely rewarded. You must make an effort to get them.
The culture in the US is probably the most aggressive in the West concerning this. It was more relaxed in Sweden. An application for work or school was brief: Name, Address, Phone, Email, Person Number. Position Desired.
The Person Number, much like our Social Security Number, was all that was really needed. By punching in that number, a licensed HR person or school administrator would have access to your vital statistics, scholastic and work record. There was no opportunity for juggling data, obfuscation or exaggeration on the applicant’s part. The admin had all the data they needed to make their decision to hire you or whether or not you were qualified to take the classes you requested. It was routine, simple and not rife with stress as this process can be in the states.
Then, there was the interview. The interviews were always relaxed. They already knew your intention and your qualifications, now it was time to find out what kind of personality they had on their hands—if you would be easy to work with, if you wished to enter personal and work references into the record, if you had any details to add, how much did you know about the company or school you wished to enter. The interviewer wanted to feel out your interest level. The interviews had the feeling of a friendly chat. They were interested in how calm, intelligent and level headed the applicant was. These were the values that were most respected in that culture.
Moving back to the States threw me into a totally different culture where “Moxy” and “Aggressive Self-Starter” and “No Excuses” were the words and qualities that were most valued. I didn’t get the first two jobs I was after in the States because I wouldn’t lower myself to unabashedly bragging about my past experience. There was no need for that where I came from. Blowing one’s own horn was not a desired characteristic in the culture I had come from. It was considered rude and revealed a deep-seated insecurity. They had a saying there: The loudest person in the room is the weakest. But, if I was going to get what I wanted, I would have to adapt, or got back to Europe. So, I adapted.
I agree that this adage is useful in the States.