Hypothetical question: If you were a female in the sex trade and you told your new boyfriend this, and he didn't appear to care at all, how would you feel?

Couldn’t this apply to any profession? If your boyfriend/girlfriend had almost zero interest in what you did for a living then how interested are they in you as a person?

So @Darth_Algar what would an appropriate answer be to show you are interested?

“Oh? What’s that like for you?”

A person that has zero interest in your life is obviously not going to be a keeper. Sex work, is a different category altogether and that, it’s kind of a loaded question. And it’s a hard one. Generally, you would not share with a casual date/boyfriend this type of work. Why? You ask? Judgement, moral assignments, and all kinds of problems etc that don’t come up when one has an occupation that isn’t unclothed or some type of sex work. It’s a job that, still, if you’re smart you’ll keep secret.

“It sucks(ha ha!), but it’s good money, @Darth_Algar. Don’t have to do much, either.”

@trailsillustrated That goes to the heart of my question. What if you were becoming more serious, and you told him, and it didn’t bother him any more than if you told him you worked at Walmart?

Not being bothered by it is one thing. But the kind of nonchalant indifference suggested by the original post is something else entirely.

@Dutchess_III with respect and I know you are a smart, kind woman, my case in point. Yes it might be a funny pun. “Kinda sucked” oh yee haw haw ! “Didn’t have to do much either”, yuck yuck yuck. See, this is very thing people say about this type of jobs. You have no idea whether other not they entail ‘not much’, because you, like may people, have no idea what they are actually like. So, I don’t know why you’re asking this question. “If it didn’t bother him no more than if y’all was working in the local Walmart?” To the OP- if you are in a progressive community where you know, these type jobs and other lifestyles aren’t a big deal, and you are maybe getting serious or wanting to talk real, then maybe have the conversation. But, read the above and trust me, girlfriend, don’t just tell people mkay.

^Is the question not related to the earlier question, by another jelly, about telling her BF she was a stripper? ....

That was my guess…..

I don’t see the problem.
Maybe I’d be suprised, considering the stigma, but the reaction, or should I say the lack of it, is a better outcome than there could be, so.

Think I’d find another boyfriend. And be honest about it from the git go.

@trailsillustrated sadly one newbie thought otherwise… Let’s suppose that you like your job so much that you identify with it, and feel compelled to be open about it just like the last jelly.

To answer the question: if it was another job I would be a little pissed, given how close I would be to him. But with this particular job I would be even glad that he didn’t even feel sick.

But either way, all I need is the boyfriend not interfering too much into my work. I hate being judged for my choice the most. You stay out of my way, I’ll do the same.

But don’t worry, I wouldn’t go overboard and try to convince anyone that I deserve special treatment like the last jelly :p

@trailsillustrated Oh, I’m sure there is a lot more to it. A lot of work. But I don’t know because I’ve never been in the trade.

@Mimishu1995 yes, there is that, of course there is that. But- boyfriend? There’s a lot of nuances to that term. And, I do say, if you’re in a progressive community where certain lifestyles are ok, of course. But, having been there,done that, I still feel, it’s best to keep it a secret. I am confused with the term “sick?” What does that mean? Please forgive me I’m not American.

@trailsillustrated Niether is @Mimishu1995 American.

@trailsillustrated that’s why I said I would be glad that he didn’t care. What else do you want from him? Yelling at you for being a whore and dump you? That’s exactly the reaction you expect from your boyfriend.

This question isn’t about whether you should tell your boyfriend or not. It asks you to imagine you were the last jelly and were so passionate with your work that you wanted your boyfriend to accept you. Because if you weren’t you wouldn’t be doing this in the first place.

Whether or not to keep secret is another story for another day.

@Mimushu
Oh! I beg your pardon I completely did not understand the question. Oops. No, it isn’t at all the reaction I would expect from my boyfriend because I didn’t have boyfriends whilst engaged in erm sex type work. Eh. I still don’t get it but that’s alright.

The point was, if you told your boyfriend that you were a sex worker and it didn’t faze him a bit, would you be relieved and glad?

For what it’s worth I once dated a stripper for awhile. I wasn’t bothered by it, however I knew that she was a stripper before we had started dating. She also made a little extra cash selling her used panties to a neighbor. That tripped me out more than the stripping did. It didn’t upset me or make me jealous or anything, but I was taken aback by that bit. Mainly because I had never actually heard of that at the time and was like “WTF? That’s actually a thing?”.

Ok neighbor was gross! What’s the harm in cashing in on his stupid gross self? And also, how did you find that out @Darth_Algar?

Find what out, the stripping or the panties?

No need to be hypothetical, I have almost been similar situation. I never told anyone in person that I’m a flexible person that don’t mind open-relationship, when I finally met the man and told him that, he looked at me like I’m a prostitute, his smiles turned to scowls as if I had lied or disappointed him. He’s not the only one, though. Mind you, perhaps this is because I live in a place where monogamy is widespread like it’s a norm.

The panties, @Darth_Algar. I can see her livelihood coming up casually, but not the selling of her used underwear.

Monogamy IS the norm @Unofficial_Member. And being open to whatever sexual encounters for your pleasure is not the same as doing sexual things for pay.

@Dutchess_III

It came up casually.

My understanding is that they sell used panties in vending machines, in Japan. At least, I’ve heard that from multiple sources… Disclaimer, I’ve never been to Japan….

But she was selling her used panties @MrGrimm888.
I heard they sell panties at Walmart here.

@Dutch Read his post.

This part?: “She also made a little extra cash selling her used panties to a neighbor. ”

^No. My post. 4 up… I did say used. Worn, seasoned, dirty etc…

I guess I felt that was slightly relevant…. As in, it’s a thing….

Sounds like he’s just happy he’s getting it free. Hopefully he’ll use two condoms.

Why 2?