Have you ever told a friend, co-worker, or family member that they look like they've gained weight?
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Kardamom (
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July 9th, 2017
This Q was based on This Recent Question about a man wanting to point out to his female co-worker that she has a “mustache.”
If you have pointed out to someone that they looked as if they have gained weight, why did you do it? Did you think they didn’t know? Did you suppose that the comment might hurt their feelings?
If you did tell them, what was their response?
If you saw someone else, in addition to the first person, who looked as if they’ve gained weight, would you tell them too?
On the flip side, has anyone every told you that you look like you’ve gained weight? How did you respond? How did that make you feel?
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13 Answers
Yes. In a couple of cases I remember, it was in contrast to them having been very thin before, and wasn’t meant as a negative thing.
The man I’m thinking of replied with happy acknowledgement. The woman I’m thinking of also acknowledged it, but there was a bit of denial (and projection) about how thin she’d been before.
Yes, people have mentioned when I seemed to them to have gained weight. I expect they were often right. I remember a case or two where they were being a bit maternal and saying it looked good but I was thinking I was overweight from how I wanted to be. Mostly other cases were just “yep” things. I remember one case where I thought it was a little unpleasant/inappropriate but I also wasn’t sure that’s what he was saying and it didn’t matter so I didn’t let it bug me. In general it can make me self-conscious if I am already thinking I’m not how I want to be. Recently though the comments have been about how I’m becoming more trim and healthy, which is true and I’m happy about that as I enjoy getting out and hiking and feeling healthy and so on.
Nope. I could care less. But if they drag their ass into work after a night of partying, I will tell them they look like shit and send them home.
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No. I feel that nothing good can come of saying something like that. Even if someone was sick and now is regaining their weight, I’d probably just leave it at “you look really good.”
I have told guys it looks like they’ve been working out and getting more built, but I think that’s a compliment. :)
Yes, to my sister, after she gave birth and gained weight because of it.
Never said it, never had it said to me.
I’ve also been thinking about whether it’s right to compliment people if they have lost weight. I am wondering if it implies that you think they looked bad before. If I notice, I’ll compliment their clothes instead.
Only time I’ve ever mentioned that someone has gained weight was to an acquaintance that was over-coming anorexia and fortunately had received early intervention and treatment
No. I have people comment on how “thin” I am all the time, though. I don’t think I’m thin. They also feel the need to comment on how little I eat. “How can that little bit even fill you up?” “Is that all you’re having?”
Of course. My me and my close girl friends are weight-conscious people. We often ask each others about how this cloth looks on us, if our hair look good already, etc including if we look like we’ve gained some extra pound. We don’t use the word “fat” as offense to each others, it’s more like friendly advise. We do talk about other people that are fat but we never give our opinion in front of their faces.
I always try to tell family members who I haven’t seen in a long time that they look exactly like they did 20 years ago. They always kind of beam.
( I DO NOT mention that they looked like a pile of crap on fire 20 years ago….)
No. I don’t do this. I might say “you are looking great”, but unless they then brought up their weight or something else, I wouldn’t get specific.
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