Have you ever seen a movie so awful you wonder how it got made?

Yes, all the time. But the answer is usually that millions of people will pay to see it.

Dragonball Evolution.

Highlander II

Too many to count, especially horror movies.

There was an animated movie like that. I forgot the name, but it was so horrible it’s kinda funny.
I wonder how they came up with it. It’s really, really bad.

The legendary Birdemic. It just blew my mind how someone could greenlist this shit, let alone let it be showed thearically. A 12-year-old with Movie Maker could have done a better job.

I love bad movies, but I have no idea how Mantos: The Hands Of Fate got made.

The guy who trained me to be a projectionist had been one for 20 years. He also had a hobby with his brother. They made swords. They actually made some of the swords in The Princess Bride.

But one night I was training with him and we got talking about the worst movie I have ever had to watch. That movie was Gone Fishing.

I asked David how the fuck Joe Pesci and Danny Glover ended up in this shithole of a movie. They must have know it was bad. They were pretty top notch actors at the time. David explained that to get good movies you sometimes have to agree to stinkers. This ties into my next paragraph.

So I worked as a janitor at a TV station that was owned by a production company. I had to clean the office of a guy that scripts got submitted to. His office was bigger than any place I have lived in the last 20 years. Walls of paper scripts. 1500 square feet and I only had to vacuum about 200 of them since there were walls of scripts.

So one night I was eating my lunch in the break room and the master control guy for the tv part of it strikes up a conversation with me. He shares that pretty much the production side of things that isn’t “local stuff for appliance store commercials” was actually kids of rich parents that want to help their budding writer/director kid. For some reason these trend like 85% horror genre. And they are all shit.

So circling back to the Gone Fishing thing. I assume it is just richer parents that get Danny Glover to commit to a shit film in exchange for a role in Lethal Weapon 4.

I’m showing my age here, but the original King Kong vs. Godzilla. Saw it when I was a kid and thought it was great. Viewed it again recently with my grandson, and it stinks, big fake monkey vs. a big fake lizard. But that giant ass spider does have it going on. Classic Cinema.

I just saw Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959) for the first time in my life the other night. Written, directed and produced by Ed Wood. LOL. It was a riot. Cardboard sets, shit falling over, wardrobe screw ups, tons of stock footage, it looked like they edited the film with a bloody lawn mower. continuity screwups big time. Man, Ed wasn’t even trying. LOL.

Space invaders, zombies, Vampira the Vampire (a schtick she milked for the next 50 years), Bela Lugosi on his last legs. It looked like Wood hijacked the rest of the cast from the beatnik borough in West Hollywood with a butterfly net. The acting… well, there was no acting. They just read their lines the best they could. It was sooooooo bad. Hilarious.

He got like twenty of his cast to agree to be baptized into the Baptist Church and the church gave him $60,000 to make the film. Tit for tat. LOL. The preacher even got to do a marriage scene in the graveyard. I’m sure most of the money was spent on partying on the set. But how did he ever get a distributor? How did he ever get that thing into theaters? They must’ve had some real kick ass weed in LA in those days. I laughed my ass off and I was watching it straight. My sides still hurt.

David Giancola makes terrifically bad movies, and they fascinated me for a while. I mean, how does this hack even get work, let alone occasionally land a couple B list celebrities? Then I figured it out.. he had figured out how to make movies for very little money, so even with limited US releases, the global marketplace has given him enough avenues for revenue that he tends to turn a profit, thus, people will keep giving him money to make bad, cheap, films.

Being featured on MST3K doesn’t hurt either. No such thing as bad publicity.

I have heard people rave about how bad “the room” is, need to see that one myself.

^ I heard about that film too. They say it’s one of the worst movies ever made. I want to see it too.

The newest XXX movie was beyond awful. It felt like they were so excited to have vin diesel in it they just forgot to put any effort into a decent plot and the dialogue was cringe worthy.

The remake of Point Break was similar, the rock climbing scene drove me insane….why the fuck is he climbing up a cliff after the bad guy? You know he’s going to the fucking top! Why wouldn’t you just meet him at the top? It’s not like he could have handcuffed him mid climb?! Wtf?!?

I love MST3K, especially the new Netflix version.

@Espiritus_Corvus Oh, so now I get your reference to Plan 9 from TJBM thread. Haha.

“it looked like they edited the film with a bloody lawn mower”

Kids’ movies in general seem to be getting worse to me, but I think that’s just ‘cause I’m no longer the target audience. Though, there still are some really good kids movies coming out every once in a while. I loved ‘Zootopia’. Genius movie. There’s so much below the surface.

Too bad they cut out the sex scene.

Yesterday I TRIED to watch ‘The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle’ on HBO (or Showtime, or Starz, or whatever). Thirty minutes was all I could stand (and it was free !!).

Jason Alexander as Boris Batinov, and Robert DeNiro as ‘Fearless Leader’ ?? Apparently, this thing seemed like a good idea on paper when they made it in 2000. We stuck it out in the movie theater back then, only because we paid to get in, plus thought that it HAD to get better any minute, right ??.

The Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons in the 60s were far better than this “What were they thinking ?” piece of crap…..

I remembered now; the movie I mentioned was Beauty and Warrior. You can watch it on Youtube (don’t). It’s dubbed “the worst anime ever”.

@Sneki2
This has nothing on The Amazing Bulk