Advice on how to impress a smart guy on the first meeting for an arranged marriage?

Don’t try to compete/compare on his strong suits.

People are attracted to qualities that they don’t have, that complement theirs.

A highly logical/intellectual/educated person may be very attracted to a person who shows/offers him a different way of being, such as playful, positively childish, care-free, artistic, emotionally intelligent, funny, joyful, musical, social ease, acceptance, attention, listening, affection.

He’s already got plenty of the other sort of stuff in his life.

Why do you need to impress him if the marriage is arranged? Just be you.

People like him, accomplished in a particular area, tend to be forgetful, and/or disorganized, not like a slob, but enough to sometimes feel awkward about themselves.
Being whimsical, and yet able to set him at ease will be a big deal.
Like @Zaku said, traits which compliment his skills will go a long way.
Matching this guy is not necessarily the best thing.
For instance, if you saw a movie together and there is some icky stuff, it is okay to say blood and stuff bothers you.
Doctors know that lots of people are bothered by blood and ick, and they don’t judge. In fact, it could possibly make him feel better about himself, and what he does, like hero stuff.
Anyway, you aren’t supposed to be his work partner. You are supposed to be his everything else but, partner.
Show him you have flair, style, humor, and above all, a steady calm which he can turn to when work matters tie him in knots.
Welcome to Fluther.
I know you will do just fine.

What if you don’t like him? Can you nix the marriage?

I’m depressed

Me too.

Stop judging. This world consists of various cultures. Get over it.

depression is not about judgement

If that’s so, @stanleybmanly, then their depression has nothing to do with this question, and therefore is irrelevant to it. On the other hand if it IS about this question…I echo @Patty_Melt .

I would suggest reading the newspapers – a good one like the New York Times and try to be aware of what is going on in the world. If you have time to formulate some valid opinions on issues, that would be great but it’s a little late for a crash course. You can ask him about his medical studies and his specialty. It’s also possible, if your parents will listen to your input, that this might not be the match for you. You don’t want to be with someone that you always feel less smart than.

@Dutchess_III @stanleybmanly I highly suspect that the OP comes from a country like India, where women have no say in marriage and arranged marriage is considered normal. If that’s the case then I can see no point in trying to impress him because the marriage will happen anyway, unless the OP’s parents haven’t informed his parents about the marriage and what the OP is really aiming for is his parents. Though I understand that a culture like India values appearance a bit too much and the OP has a good reason to be concerned.

It might not be that bad. If either of the kids is not happy with the other, don’t the 2 sets of parents merely continue shopping?

@stanleybmanly It’s not that simple in some countries. Some countries have this weird mindset of parents having all power over children’s decisions. In some cases, sadly, the marriage isn’t based on the children’s best interest. The parents could be going for some other purpose that will benefit themselves, something that makes it obligatory that that particular woman has to pair with that particular man and no one else. But all in all the marriage isn’t about the children’s happiness, and the children have no say in the decision because their opinion doesn’t hold any weight.

I highly suspect there is something going on behind the scene for this question to be formed, or else the OP wouldn’t have to worry about making a good impression with her man. And I don’t think she has free will in this matter, because she appears too concerned about impressing the guys. There wouldn’t even be an arranged marriage in the first place, unless she is so fucked up her parents have to involve in her marriage choice, which I highly doubt to be the case in a free country like the US.

It seems simple enough to me.
Why wouldn’t she want to make a good impression?
Jellies ask about making a good impression for a job interview, and nobody gets suspicious.
I think we should take the Q at face value, and simply try to provide helpful answers.
I think if I were about to meet the man I am expected to spend the rest of my life with, I too would want to make a good impression. I certainly wouldn’t show up in sweats and ballcap.
By the way, sometimes Jewish families arrange marriages. I had a friend whose marriage was arranged. She was pretty excited. It was weird to me, but she was raised in a community with different values and opinions than I was used to.
The marriage had not been arranged at birth. She was an adult. She wanted to be married, have kids, but she didn’t know anybody she wanted to marry. She left it to her parents.
Whatever the situation is not needed here in order to answer the Q.
@camcam, you don’t have to be the same as him. Just be your best you.

Maybe I can start to understand why the OP sometimes doesn’t return to their questions.

Welcome to Fluther.

This is a good question. I like it.

First of all, as @tinyfaery has noted, if it is an arranged marriage – and if it’s “going to happen” regardless of this first impression – then you don’t have a lot to worry about, so you shouldn’t worry. But it’s understandable that you want to look good in his eyes, and I can certainly respect that.

I think what might impress me, if I were the man in question, would be not so much “how smart you are.” (As a Harvard man and a doctor, he’s going to be somewhat arrogant about how smart he is, I think, and you may have to simply accept that – there will be plenty of time through the rest of your life to remind him that he’s not always as smart as he thinks he is, but don’t do that just yet.) But it would be impressive to know “how much you know about him” already. That is, learn a little bit – just a little! – about his medical specialty – at least, what it is and whatever you can learn about that ONLY so that you can ask intelligent questions. Get him to do the talking.

If you get him talking about himself and how smart he is, then he will believe that you are brilliant. Trust me on this.

It’s my understanding that in many arranged marriages today the parents do take into consideration the reactions of the couple to each other after their initial meeting.

@Patty_Melt comparing making a good (first) impression with a potential employer, and making a good (first) impression with someone you will be with for the rest of your life are not comparable.

It sounds like the man is financially stable and responsible and has a great deal of future potential. A Harvard graduate.
As parents we all want that for our children. But in America, and most other places, we can only hope that our children’s choices will include that.

I wish I knew more about the OP’s specific situation.

It is not the same, but it definately is comparable.
You would argue daylight with me today.
Your attitude is rotten, and useless.
Besides that, I suspect OP has left the building.

Show an interest in him and ask him questions. (He is probably wondering how he can impress you.)

I’ve been thinking about my reaction to this question and must concede that both @Patty Melt & @snowberry are correct in it being judgemental. The correct course is to not give a shit.

An intelligent man will see through any guile you bring. You are going into an arranged marriage. My suggestion would be to be yourself. Don’t try to be smarter or funnier or anything like that. We all bring something to the party…let him see what you’ve got. If he is a good man (not just an intelligent one), he will be looking for traits that you might very well have, such are honesty, caring, humor, directness (or shyness if that is you). If you have never met this person there is no telling what he might like so be yourself.

^^^ Best answer yet.

Blow jobs… JK, ^^^^

Thank you all for your amazing answers! I do understand that there is a possibility that I might not like the guy since having brains isn’t the only factor that defines a person. I’d like to make a good impression mostly to feel good about myself and take this opportunity to improve myself in aspects that I may not have considered before. If the guy also liked me that’s also a bonus. I am not forced into this marriage so if we don’t like each other, it’s not the end of the world. But if he turns out to be a good guy (not just smart) and I liked him, i wouldn’t want to be rejected. that’s why I asked for advice here :)

That helps! You know, who you really are does come through, even when you’re nervous. I think you’ll both know.
I would like to hear how it goes.