How would you deal with a friend whose conversations with you make you feel like you're being interviewed?

Is it possible to turn the conversation to her and say, “I’ve talked enough about me, i’d lie to hear what’s doing in your life?”

I have a cousin who does the same thing so I’ll be following this.

Summon the great Nunya Business to help you. He is a divine protector of all of those who are being attacked by the ancient demon, known as Askhole.
Calling his help is very easy, just say his name whenever Askhole attacks you.

@jca I think @janbb had a great suggestion.

What’s the attitude of the 3rd friend that works with you? Can she shoulder the load in answering the questions while you entertain us here? Or is she as fed up as yourself? If this indeed the case, I would announce that “I’m sick to death of talking shop.” Then whip out the business card of your organization’s P R person.

M. Act stupit? Or non-committal?

@stanleybmanly I tried that with a friend that I used to work with that wanted a few of us to have dinner and catch up. It always turned out to be her bitching about work and or co workers. I tried saying “lets stop talking about work” and she would stop for about a minute and go right back at it. I stopped meeting her for dinner. It wasn’t worth it.

I think @janbb is spot on, here. This person is probably honestly interested, just awkward about expressing it. I doubt that rudeness, as some have suggested, would be at all constructive.

We all hear, “Ask other people about themselves!” vs talking about yourself.
So she does, but doesn’t realize she’s taking it to extremes.

Ugh..i feel for you. I would attempt to shift the conversation to something else after answering couple questions to be polite.
Maybe discuss this with your other dinner friend and perhaps, between the two of you, you can sidestep most of the interrogation. If the subtle approach doesn’t work I’d speak up and tell her you are not interested in the 20 questions routine, that a little catch up is fine but you don’t want work talk to be the focal point of the evening.

Have other subjects ready. I start asking questions when there are odd pauses in the conversation. I try to catch myself and change the subject, or tell something that happened to me.

It happened to me once. It was a classmate who wanted to be my friend it was her idea in the first place. Her mantra was “friends need to know everything about each other” so she fired a lot of questions in the same manner as your friend. I knew she just wanted to get to know me, but the way she did made the conversation really awkward.

I dealt with it by asking “how about you” with each question she asked. It made the conversation less one-sided and awkward. I could have two people talking back and forth instead of an interview-like conversation. It worked for me.

Sometimes people are just f*****g nosy. I quit smoking for three months a couple of years ago. Something pretty awful happened that only a few people know about and I started smoking again.
This acquaintance, the wife of a friend of Rick’s, wanted to know why and I said “I just did. I don’t want to talk about it.”
She damn near took me down in a choke hold demanding to know what happened.
I finally snapped “It’s nothing I want to talk about!!!!” For the fourth time.
She finally left me alone.

Sounds like she’s a coworker who can’t leave it at the office, who’s also sort-of-a-friend, more than a friend you happen to work with.

I’d jokingly-yet-seriously say that I’m going to bill overtime for any work conversations after hours.

I knew someone like that. She would ask questions one after the other sometimes not even waiting for me to finish my answer. . I felt like she was thinking of the next question as I was answering the previous one.
It turned out she was secretly fooling around and was preparing to leave her marriage. The rapid-fire questions kept the conversation away from her.

Perhaps before your next get together, you could phone or text her and say, “One topic that is forbidden at our dinner is my work.” I want to relax and get away from it.

If she questions you anyway, you can say, “Ah, ah, ah, no talk about my work, remember? My lips are sealed.”

Good luck.

Along the lines of what @marinelife said, when you get to the dinner, make a cute announcement, “From now on, dinners out are a ‘no work related concersation zone’. I talk about work at work enough as it is, now who wants a margarita?” If she starts in again just say something light like “No work stuff, now” and hold up your index finger.

Repeat as many times as needed.

@jca – why can’t you be polite and frank with a friend of 20 years? Either to find out what she’s digging for and help her get it, or just letting her know your preference.

It’s an honest question. I find myself sometimes asking too many questions and reign myself in, because I see those as opportunities to get to know people better rather than just blabbering like we would at work. It’s an opportunity for more substance, but totally understand that’s not relaxing for some people.

There are uncomfortable situations that are tough to navigate, but dinner with old friends shouldn’t be one of them, right? Why not address it honestly?

Well, because people don’t always react like they “should,” especially when it comes to implied criticisms.

We went out last night, the three of us. By the time I asked this question on here, there wasn’t much time for responses and then I left work for the dinner. My other friend (the third in our party) is also my boss and the president of the union that I work directly for. My friend (the interviewer) is always curious about union stuff and political stuff.

Her questions are as follows: “Did you meet with so and so? What did he say? Do you think we’ll get a contract by the end of the year? Do you think we’ll get retro(active pay)? I need a raise. Did you tell him that? What did he say? What about the legislators?” and on and on. I was tired so I let the two of them talk. I figured if my friend the boss doesn’t mind answering, that’s ok with me.

Next time we get together (which thankfully isn’t too often), I’ll use some of the tips above. Some were funny and I think they’ll work. I think @Dutchess_III is correct. If I address it in an honest manner, my friend will be insulted and think I’m starting a fight. She’s like that. She’d be highly offended.

Some of her questions I would just say, “I’m not at liberty to discuss that.” If fact, almost all of them could be deflected by that. Or just “I don’t know,” until she gets tired of asking.

Jocular sarcasm always works.

1) Laugh and tell her to ask again when you’re way more drunk.
2) Tell her you got fired.
3) Ask an annoying question for every question she asks.
4) Say, “OMG! WHAT’S THAT!?!” and point behind her. When she questions nothing being there, just say you needed a break from the interview.
5) Say, “This feels like an interview. Did you see that movie? The Interview. Seth Rogan and James Franco kill Kim Jong Un. I heard it was bad. Most interviews are. Let’s watch it!” *laugh
6) Make egg rolls or something for your next meeting. Keep pushing the egg rolls. Eventually get upset and say, “I wish you cared about my egg rolls as much as you do about _________ organization.” *pout

Etc… Doesn’t really matter what you do as long as it’s funny, you laugh, and it’s a deflection instead of an attack.

I would say things like:
-Why? Are you taking a poll?
-Shouldn’t you be writing this down?
-Who declared today to be Interrogate Molly Day?